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A great. Big. Snowman.

It took a while to convince my small protector that this intruder was no threat. I pulled off the orange hat from the snowman's head and tossed its raisin eyes and carrot nose in Gus's direction. He ate them cautiously, then inched his way forward. By the time I had yanked the sticks out of the snowman's sides and the scarf from its neck, Gus saw the wilting lump of snow for what it really was: an empty threat.

It was the church that disassembled my snowman. This community helped me see that my hackle-raising fear of physical harm, and the even greater suspicion that my faith had been wrongly placed, was unnecessary. I had not been abandoned by God, and his people proved it.

Most people don't blame the church directly for the trials in their lives, but many do accuse the church of not responding appropriately when calamity strikes. Church leaders and laypeople alike certainly make mistakes as they care for us in times of need. However, if we allow that their mistakes come from their own wounds and that their love is genuine, if imperfect, we nearly always find ourselves more healed than hurt.

Sometimes we forget what the church was created for: to teach us how to live, how to care for each other in love, and how to draw others to Christ. In Acts we read that the first Christians "devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. … And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved" ().

When the church is functioning the way God intended, it provides a sense of belonging in the same way a family does. That means not only that we gain support when trials press on us, but also that we are prodded when we're slacking, challenged when we're comfortable, and reprimanded when we're wayward. And sometimes we're the ones on the casserole committee.

It has been more than a decade since the rape, and I've experienced many life changes since then. I gave birth to a precious baby girl, conceived that fateful night, and she is now my daily reminder of God's restorative love. We adopted one of the little boys who used to pluck our tulips, and now he towers over me, a godly young man who brings much laughter to our family. I've moved from Michigan to Colorado to Indiana. I've experienced the death of loved ones and the birth of a grandchild. Both unexpected hardships and blessings have come my way. Yet through all these changes, one thing has remained constant in my life: the family of God.

We can blame the church for many things, I suppose. But if we are faithful to give to it as much as we receive from it, we'll find this communion of saints to be a source of astonishing beauty.

Heather Gemmen Wilson is the author of Startling Beauty: My Journey from Rape to Restoration and runs the website heathergemmen.com. She speaks internationally on the subject of hope and forgiveness.

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February 2008, Vol. 52, No. 2