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Some time ago, I emerged from the darkness. In its wake, I found myself thankful for seven amazing years of ministry and professional growth in Colorado. I'm grateful for the talented, passionate people I worked with at Focus, and the many faithful friends I still count on.

Through the darkness, God confirmed my burden to reach out to those who are struggling in this world, and to use my gifts and experience to exhort other believers to do the same. He used this period to make me more discerning, more compassionate, and far more aware of the great spiritual need all around me.

To stave off future darkness, I have to continually beat back swirling questions, which are not only unanswerable, but also now laden with heavy emotion. I also regularly engage in the disciplines that I know lead to a stronger friendship with God.

While I'm not open about my "checkered past" at the coffee shop, I have learned to shut out the voices of condemnation that tell me I have some divine responsibility to speak out. As staff, we bond over our business principles, hard work, and the perfect cup of coffee.

My changing witness reminds me of something else Paul said: "To those not having the law I became like one not having the law … so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings" (1 Cor. 9:21–23).

I do not hide my faith in Christ from Janet, the coffee-shop staff, or my friends at the beach. It is my hope that they'll notice something different about me, continue to poke me with questions, and long to know the One who has given me life and hope.

Amy Tracy is a freelance writer living in the Rogers Park neighborhood of Chicago.

Copyright © 2008 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Christianity Today profiled Amy Tracy after her conversion.

Tracy interviewed Charlene Cothran, who became a Christian last year, after 29 years as a gay activist.

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March 2008, Vol. 52, No. 3