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Christianity Today, May, 2008 |

The Problem with Juicy Memoirs

Recent tell-all biographies of parents are only symptoms of deeper concern.

A Christianity Today editorial | posted 4/24/2008 08:46AM

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The New Testament shows that the fifth commandment is still in force for followers of Jesus (Eph. 6:2). The New Testament writers reconceptualize kinship because of the family disruption that came when some people chose to follow Jesus, but they still connect family duty to God's covenant love. As the church multiplied in Greco-Roman society, households became the core of new groups of believers, and those who had lost family for the gospel's sake were adopted into these new family-like structures.

Living by God's Vision

Back to the juicy memoirs: Such writing is more symptom than pathogen. The alienation of so many adults from their own parents calls not just for individual healing, but for a deep societal healing as well. The final verses of the Old Testament (Mal. 4:4-6) promise such communal healing "before that great and dreadful day of the Lord," because if the hearts of the parents are not turned to the children and the children to the parents, God will "strike the land with a curse."

The first step toward that kind of healing is to get out of our selves and to begin dealing with family issues in a communitarian and covenantal fashion. Pastors and Christian counselors are in a unique position to help people see that larger framework. We may no longer live in a covenantal state, or in extended multigenerational families. We may no longer focus our economic life on the family business. But we can still practice faithfulness to our families not out of a desire for personal healing or self-fulfillment, but only after asking what sort of people we ought to be to live out God's vision for society.

Related Elsewhere:

Christianity Today's earlier coverage includes:

Books & Culture published Os Guinness's review of Crazy for God as well as Frank Schaeffer's response.

Previous editorials are available on our site.

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May 2008, Vol. 52, No. 5

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William

Posted: April 29, 2008 11:14 AM

The generalization, based on the Isaac/Jacob relationship, that the Bible "knows nothing of this perspective (blaming parents for the children's behavior)" flies in the face of the facts, viz., that the Bible clearly recognizes the parent's influence for good or ill on the children. Its call to "not provoke your children" implicitly understands that some parental behavior can have negative effects on the children, and the Church would be wise to recognize and deal with such effects. On the positive side, the Bible's call for parents to "train up a child in the way he should go" is another instance of the Biblical understanding that parents can have a positive influence on the children. Was the editorial's failure to cite the Bible's clear interest in parental influence--blame as well as plaudits--on children simply an oversight, or is there another agenda?

Billy

Posted: April 28, 2008 5:41 PM

The comments to this article are so much more insightful than the article itself, which in my humble opinion is horse dooky. That CT thinks that the 5th commandment given to Israel has any application whatsoever to Frank Shafer strikes me as quite odd. That anyone thinks that Frank doesn't have the full right to write this book about his father for whatever reason (provided that he is giving what he believes to be an accurate account) is absurd. It was Francis who put himself out there on the line in the public eye all dressed up in those absolutely ridiculous outfits, not Frank. If Francis had not so sought the public eye, there would have been no public with an interest in this book. Francis created the audience for which Frank has written, and at least enough of that audience is interested in what Frank has to say to pony up and buy the book. Now what does that tell you, that at least a slice of Francis cult following sensed that he had lost it in the last years of his life.

Dea	Posted: April 28, 2008 3:40 PM

My problem has more to do with shoving the 5th commandment down our thoats with no discussion of how parents are suppossed to treat children. In my situation, my worst enemies are my parents. One has abandoned me and my siblings to create another family. The other has abused us and lied about us while pretending to be the perfect mother, teacher and christian. She has stolen our child support for herself, used the removal of health insurance as a way to control us, and has run my sister off, the only person who could help me with my suffering concerning my her actions. If I ever get the chance to tell the world (whether its our small group of family and friends) or the actual world, about who she really is I will. She deserves no less than to be fully exposed for her lieing, cheating, abuse and hypocrisy. Maybe than she will be forced to answer for her crimes. This is no different than the article. Parents should be afraid of what children will say. What is done in the dark....

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