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Christianity Today, April, 2009 |

My Top Five Books on Marriage

By Charles W. Tackett, CEO of PursuingHeart.com | posted 5/07/2009 09:23AM

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Just How Married Do You Want To Be?: Practicing Oneness in Marriage
by Jim and Sarah Sumner

The Sumners explain how oneness, produced by putting Christ and then your spouse before yourself, is the heart of marriage. This book develops the deepest understanding of the head-body dynamic described in Ephesians 5.

* * *

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
by Gary Chapman

More than any writer during the last 20 years, Chapman has helped millions of couples communicate the language of love: with quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

* * *

God on Sex: The Creator's Ideas about Love, Intimacy, and Marriage
by Daniel Akin

Akin has written an excellent verse-by-verse interpretation of the Song of Songs for couples. This book will reignite your love and passion for each other and may even jump-start your sex life.

* * *

Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
by William Cutrer and Sandra Glahn

Cutrer and Glahn's classic book is for couples seeking to understand the anatomy and soul of sex in marriage. They candidly and compassionately discuss the common sexual problems of married couples.

* * *

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
by John Gottman and Nan Silver

Gottman identifies seven principles that can undo the work of the "Four Horsemen"—destructive behaviors that can destroy any marriage.

Related Elsewhere:

Previous Top 5 lists have featured Lent, fiction books for the soul, managing your money, devotionals, how character shapes belief, food, Atheism, China, Presidents, World Christianity, Ancient-Future Faith, the Civil Rights Era, Social Justice, Church History, Popular Culture, the Civil War, Apologetics, Atheism, and Sex.

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April 2009, Vol. 53, No. 4

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kochleffl51

Posted: May 14, 2009 9:28 AM

As a psychologist who does a lot of couples counseling, I agree with many of the selections. I have taken ten days of training with John Gottman, and I think his approach is the most comprehensive and research-based of the books on the list. I'm not minimizing the importance of sex, but I'm surprised that 3 of 5 selections focus primarily on sex. I find that issues of "gridlock" (Gottman's term) over seemingly unresolvable issues (such as one is a spender, the other a saver of money) and learning to conflict with respect are more frequent reasons for marital discord.

Matt K

Posted: May 11, 2009 9:47 AM


More academic than these, but good for Pastors and Christian counselors: "Love and Sex in the Home" David Matzko-McCarthy

homebuilding

Posted: May 08, 2009 4:31 PM

Gottman, Chapman, and the Parrot's are participants in the COALTION FOR MARRIAGE, FAMILY, AND COUPLES EDUCATION and an incredible volume of very useful researched material is available (no sign up) at their website smartmarriages.com --regarding the co-habitation situation, contact Mike or Harriett McManus at marriagesavers.com other sites to check: prepinc.com many research papers at the upper right tab (program has been adopted by several states) marrigebuilders.com Willard Harley of "His Need, Her Needs" compassionpower.com great for anger concerns buildhopeandlove.com simple overviews and things to try wikipedia.org look under "relationship education" for about 30 basic principles to review and pursue THERE ARE FAR MORE GOOD, SOLID RESOURCES TO PRESERVE AND than there were just a short time ago. That very secular psych business of universal drugs and pathology assignment is at long last, fading. Praise the Lord!

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