Well, there's "If It Made a Difference," where you sing, "Sorry I ever gave a damn / Sorry I even tried to waste all the better parts of me / On not just anyone who came to mind." And "Inside," where you sing, "I know they'll bury me before they hear the whole story … / Who the hell do you think you are?" Sounds angry to me!
Knapp: Okay. I'm okay if you call them angry. I prefer to think of them as, well …
Knapp: I'm just really enjoying the opportunity as a writer to be able to put a kinetic energy into what's been welling up inside of me. It's great to be able to not feel like I've got to turn that frustration into a happy, cheery …
But you've never been like that, Jennifer. I don't listen to your old albums and think Oh, this is all happy, shiny music. I hate happy, shiny music!
Knapp: I think "angry" is probably … I'm not really an angry person. I'm passionate, and I've certainly been known to raise my voice and pound my fists, but in the heart of me it's not a destructive thing. It's more the type of energy of what it takes when a person's being thwarted. I wrote "Inside" in complete and utter fear to voices in my head that told me that I couldn't be a person of faith.
In the song's third line, you sing, "God forbid they give me grace." Do you really believe that no believers will show you grace?
Knapp: It's a much larger picture than that. I don't want anyone to think the song is targeted at the church, or at the ways we find judgment cast upon us. It's a challenge to break free of that and to own who you really are. That's my heart's cry for anyone I've ever met. It's not on my agenda to convert the world to a religion, but to convert the world to compassion and grace. I've experienced that in my life through Christianity.
"Inside" isn't about the church. It's about me, and how I struggle to be myself daily—honest and truthful to who I really am. It would break my heart if people got through this [album], especially the Christian audience, and found themselves with another artist that was just angry at the church. That's not where I'm at. If there's any anger or frustration on this record, it's the desperation to hold onto what is honest and true, and let the rest of it just burn.
I would be really sad if people thought this was a sword trying to cut up something I've been deeply moved by. Christian music has been a great surprise for me, but I didn't aspire to be a Christian music artist. I aspired to be a Christian in my private life, and I think it's a wonderful side effect that can happen with music—that you can get a lot of people to share in that specific experience. So it would be a tragedy if people couldn't see the forest for the trees, to see the connectivity between Kansas and Letting Go. It's there for me, gratefully, with a big, huge, massive sigh of relief. It's not like I left Christian music because Christian music was bad, or that I'm not participating in church because the church is evil. It's none of those things. For me, it's the journey that I'm on, trying to figure things about as best I can.
Photos: Eye Photography
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