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May 16, 2012

Home > 2010 > AugustChristianity Today, August, 2010
Saved by an Atheist
Christians gave Albert Camus good reasons not to believe. He gave me a reason to return to faith.




I became a Christian again during my last year of college. After years of wrestling with God and doubting his existence, I had an intense, spiritual epiphany that seemed to change my life instantly. The following day, though it sounds hokey to say so, the grass looked greener, the sky bluer. Ordering coffee that day from a complete stranger, I nearly burst into tears. This is another child of God! I thought to myself. What a shame I'm handing her cash instead of praising God with her.

That moment was unlike any I've ever since experienced. Suddenly, and without words, I knew that God had said to me, I AM. Nothing more, just I AM. With those words, God told me that he cared enough about me to reveal just this little bit about himself. I AM. It answered none of my questions and gave no explanation for God's five-year absence in my life. But those words were enough. I could say with Peter, "You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

There were a number of people through whom God worked before that revelation. Yet the biggest influence on my spiritual journey was the novels and philosophy of Albert Camus, a French existentialist of the 1940s and '50s—and an atheist. C. S. Lewis warned, "A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading." Camus should have been safe territory for me, but as I like to say now, I was saved by an atheist.

Atheist Morality

"If there were no God, there would be no atheists," said G. K. Chesterton. My own period of doubt came not because the idea of God or miracles seemed wrong, but because God himself wronged me. That's how I saw it, at least. Though atheists may argue that the existence of a supreme being is impossible, their arguments often reveal a belief that God just doesn't behave as they think he should. In a debate, Christopher Hitchens complained about war and killing in the Old Testament. He said he wrote his book God Is Not Great in response to the murders in Muslim countries that followed the publishing of cartoons of the prophet Muhammad. None of these are arguments against God's existence, but rather arguments against how God and especially his followers act.

That is why traditional atheism is a highly moral philosophy, and one worthy of respect, even while we strongly disagree with it. In his book The Twilight of Atheism, Alister McGrath describes the atheism that emerged during the Enlightenment as "one of the greatest achievements of the human intellect, capable of capturing the imagination of generations." Lewis shared the same respect for this godless tradition. Introducing one of his tutors, Kirkpatrick, in Surprised by Joy, Lewis calls him an atheist, but hastens to qualify the description: "He was a 'Rationalist' of the old, high and dry nineteenth-century type. For Atheism has come down in the world since those days." In his science fiction novel That Hideous Strength, Lewis developed a character based on Kirkpatrick and included him among a small group working to save the world from evil. Maybe Lewis simply harbored fondness for his teacher, but I suspect he saw some spiritual hope in the old man's atheism.

Such hope is not misplaced. Timothy Larsen, professor of history at Wheaton College and author of Crisis of Doubt: Honest Faith in Nineteenth-Century England, says he has come to see doubt as a way in which we take our faith seriously: "If you haven't doubted, you haven't re-owned your faith." Many Victorian atheists, Larsen discovered, converted back to Christianity. "Some actually are really trying to answer questions. That's why they sound so angry," he says. "They're in a struggle for their own soul."





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Displaying 1–5 of 21 comments

Anonymous

August 31, 2010  12:27pm

"The attractiveness of atheism is directly dependent upon the corruption of Christian institutions," says McGrath. "History strongly suggests that those who are attracted to atheism are first repelled by theism." That is not very scriptural. The Bible makes it clear that man rejects God first then looks for a rationalization of that decision. Atheism is nothing but a rationalization of rebellion. Did OT Israel reject Isaiah because he was a lousy example? Did NT Israel reject Christ and the Apostles because they were terrible Christians? I agree with Moll that Churches need to teach apologetics so that believer have a reasonable response to the irrationality of atheism, but it is not a tool for evangelism. Notice that the Bible has very little apologetics in it. I believe that is because God knows that you can't debate a person into heaven.

Catherine S.

August 30, 2010  2:44pm

Recently, I preached a sermon using Camus' The Fall. I think this story paints a portrait of a sin-sick soul, but the protagonist has nowhere to turn for relief from his feeling that the universe is laughing at him and his guilt over not doing anything to rescue a woman who appears to have thrown herself off a bridge. He sits in a bar in the Netherlands, an ex-patriot from France, having a conversation with another man from France. The conversation sounds like a confession, but he is quick to say it isn’t really a confession because the man listening to his story is not a priest. He wishes he could return to that fateful night on the bridge--and thinks it is impossible, always impossible. It is a cry of despair! Camus died shortly after the release of this novel, but some people think he may have been on the verge of conversion. The novel could not have been written without the language of faith. I encourage Christians to imagine being in a grace-filled conversation with Jean-Baptiste!

IB Cincinnatus

August 30, 2010  10:38am

Well written and thought provoking. The thesis (the nature of atheism as a wrestling with God) is an all too rare - and quite refreshing - point of view. I would offer a correction and a few suggestions. The realization that "we all have plague" is not expressed through Bernard Rieux. Mr. Moll attributes to Rieux what is, in fact, beautifully and powerfully conveyed via Jean Tarrou. Tarrou anguishes through his revelation of the execution and the existential consequences with which he's lived. As well, I would suggest that Camus' was less an atheist than an agnostic. Camus doubted - despite his consistent desire to believe. He bore the weight of remarkable intellectual honesty by refusing to declare a resolution to the "existence of God" question. See "Christian Metaphysics and Neoplatonism" (his published Master's thesis), The Unbeliever and Christians (his 1948 lecture at the Dominican Monastery of Latour-Maubourg), and RIchard Ackeroyd's The Spiritual Quest of Albert Camus.

Dennis Mullen

August 28, 2010  7:59am

As a college student in the 60's, Camus and Sartre were required reading. Raised Catholic and very agnostic at the time of reading them I found myself pushed toward reformed theology after reading them. Camus seemed to be looking for real answers. Sartre wanted to build a system that allowed him to be a hedonist. But he found that something was there, that nothingness did not exist. He did not change even when confronted with that reality. I always sensed that Camus saw God as a determinist, that he confused sovereign grace with determinism. Camus had a great understanding of the Fall, and a great compassion for mankind. I always felt that "religion" blinded him from seeing Jesus. In many ways Camus writings led me to the door of reformed theology and Providence and Sovereign Grace.

Kevin V.

August 27, 2010  11:19pm

Thanks for another very thoughtful article. I think the author really hits on something when he talks about people feeling let down. Most of us see the folly in prosperity preaching. Just as bad, in my opinion, are the claims that once you accept Christ, your life will greatly improve and you'll have an abundance of happiness. That is frequently not true. I have known good, Christian people who have gone their entire lives almost never catching a break. Nonetheless, they remained faithful and now have their reward. That reward is what we should be promising, not a bowl of cherries in this world. When the latter never comes to fruition, it is only natural to have one's faith shaken by a perception that faith had been for naught. The only paradise we should be hyping as part of the Christian walk is the one that comes after this oft-painful life.

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