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May 26, 2012

Home > 2010 > August (Web-only)Christianity Today, August (Web-only), 2010
Speaking Out
Woman As Folly
I hope God doesn't see me the way I see 'The Real Housewives.'




Last year, I traded a New York City apartment for a house in a Midwestern cornfield. After living on the East Coast for nearly a decade, I didn't know what to expect from the dramatic change of scenery. The thought crossed my mind that the move might show me something new about America. It ended up showing me something new about God.

On a wintry Wednesday night in our new Midwestern life, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary when my husband and I gathered with a few friends from church for Bible study. We'd just started a DVD-based study about marriage, and as we pushed play to begin the lesson, I glanced down at a photocopied handout with the speaker's key points. On the white page in front of me, I read excerpted verses that played like a study in the overuse of ellipses:

Gen. 3:17— Then to Adam he said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife … "
Deut. 13:6— If … the wife you cherish … entice you secretly, saying, "Let us go and serve other gods … "
Job 2:10— He said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks … "
Prov. 9:13— The woman of folly is boisterous; she is naïve, and she knows nothing.
2Tim. 3:6— … captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses.

The speaker on the DVD said these verses showed that women should appreciate the desire of men to analyze and provide counsel. But I had a hard time moving beyond the underlying premise, at least as I heard it: Women are foolish. Granted, a verse or two appeared on the following page about how a prudent wife is from the Lord, but that didn't counterbalance the overarching impression that women are at worst, shrewish, at best, naïve. When we began to discuss the lesson, I was more than a little surprised to realize my opinion wasn't the consensus view.

"I think men are more aware than women of their tendency to sin," one of the men suggested. "Maybe they can use this wisdom to help guide their wives."

I couldn't believe this was being discussed as a legitimate idea. I wanted to ask if he really thought that women are blinder than men to their own foibles. Instead, I stared ahead and tried to think of a constructive response.

And then I remembered. I do know a few women who might fit the description of the "woman of folly" in Proverbs 9. I'm usually too incredulous to speak up when they behave outrageously. But that's also because I watch them on-screen, on the reality show The Real Housewives. It's an expanding franchise that started in Orange County and now includes programs based in New York and Atlanta. As a Los Angeles Times writer described the series, "The general premise—that if you put a group of well-off women together, they will spend their time buying luxury goods, obsessing about their appearance and stabbing each other in the back—is, essentially, misogyny on a stick." Of course, it's these very qualities that make the housewives celebrities, in the newest evolution of the word. Celebrity is now defined not by accomplishment or talent but by bad behavior. We're less fascinated by on-screen glamour in the style of Lauren Bacall, and more preoccupied by off-screen antics in the style of Lindsay Lohan.

The cast of The Real Housewives seem to revel in their foolishness, but their misdeeds are perhaps a lesser offense than my confession that I enjoy their company. A New York Times writer aptly described the sentiment of reality-show viewers like me: "I watch reality shows to escape from meaning, to watch someone else's marriage break up or a friendship collapse with no more investment than I have in a Toyota commercial. I don't feel their pain—which, bombarded as we are with calamitous information, is sort of the whole point, isn't it?"





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Displaying 1–5 of 79 comments

John M

August 14, 2010  10:54pm

I think that part of the problem with understanding scripture is the ego we bring to the reading. If we consider the entire contents of the Bible, we see many men and women who are depicted behaving well - and others who are behaving badly. If we reflect upon relations between the genders over the years we also have many examples of each, so life does seem to imitate Scripture. If we read isolated passages, and bring into the reading our ego about maleness or femaleness, we are likely to view Scripture as supporting this or that human bias, but that is neither what it does nor what it is intended to do. And we must be very careful about using "historical context" to understand what we read, lest we skew the meaning of Scripture by dismissing it in a "that was then, but this is now" fashion. If we trust Scripture at all, we must trust that what is taught its first hearers/readers is still relevant to us - it is timeless, and not subject to reinterpretation based on cultural changes

Rodger D Canterbury Sr

August 14, 2010  11:45am

Roger McKinney You are right in what you said and it true He did knowing fully of what he was doing,He didn't want to at first. His love an need for her got him to eat. She was a part of him He could not let go of. Also man was made of dust of the earth Woman was not did you know that. She was Bone of the Man that was dust of the earth. Not to be funny But I think God toke the best Rib an made Woman Man should Chairish the Woman and Woman should Respect Her Man as One. (So the truth) Man and Woman are the same (Fact) Woman came from Man Made by God.

grace r

August 10, 2010  4:03pm

I really loved this! I am so glad you weren't scared to question some of those scriptures and comments heard in your bible study. I would feel the same way and it makes me feel so much better to know other women deal with these same issues and thoughts!

Amanda Renney

August 10, 2010  3:52pm

Very well written, and said! Your article was a humbling reminder that I, too, need to stay grounded and focused on growing closer to my Creator. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what "society" labels as important. Rather than 'man' pointing fingers at 'woman,' let's all bow before the throne of God, focus on serving him, and do our best to follow Christ's example. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Roger McKinney

August 10, 2010  2:17pm

Nice article! Women are not inferior to men in any way. Satan deceived Eve, but Adam rebelled with full knowledge of what he was doing. Which is the more evil? Obviously Adam's sin! Women of folly does not refer to all women, but women who choose folly over wisdom. Choosing wisdom over folly is the theme of Proverbs and intended as much for men as for women. The Bible has many women who are great Godly leaders. In marriage, men are to put the needs of their wives first, as Christ did for the church. Marriage is most beautiful when each partner places the needs of the other first. Women are less easily deceived than men; just look around the churches and notice the percentage of men to women. Or it could be that men are more rebellious, which also makes them more foolish. Men have a greater problem with arrogance, which makes them do stupid things. Wisdom requires humility and that comes easier to women.

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