To: James, President of the Jerusalem Council
Re: Initial Impressions
Shalom Marketing Ltd. was recently contacted by a member of your council, asking us to tell you about our services. He said to make it clear that he was footing the bill for this initial evaluation, with the hopes that our sound advice will encourage the council to hire us to guide your marketing efforts for the next strategic stage in your movement's life.
We have heard reports of your movement for some time now—who hasn't?—and our initial impressions are very positive! You seem to have dynamic leadership, organizational flexibility, and a natural touch with the people. Add some sophisticated marketing—well, who knows how successful you can become! Naturally, this brief memo will, by its nature, point out areas in need of attention, but make no mistake: We have great optimism about what we call your "effectiveness potential."
Let's begin with one of your leading PR men, Peter, who is clearly a gifted communicator. We believe he would find that our seminar "Winning Techniques for Effective Communication" would help him be more effective still! Unfortunately, he has the regular habit of berating his audience, just at the moment when he has them eating out of his hand.
For example, after that day when everyone thought you all were having one giant party in the middle of the day (by the way, that was a stroke of marketing genius, to show everyone that you all know how to have a good time), Peter gave what frankly was a long-winded speech (we'd recommend no more than five minutes in the future), rehearsing a great deal of history (we'd recommend sticking with the present; nobody cares about the past anymore), and then ended on a couple of awkward ...