Readers Write

Grace-Based Parenting

Leslie Leyland Fields ["The Myth of the Perfect Parent," January] is right: The best parenting techniques don't produce Christian children. Praise God that it doesn't depend on us.

Before our four children were born, my husband and I prayed that they would live for God. We prayed the same for our 11 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild. I believe that, by God's grace, all of them have mine written on them in his handwriting. After 57 years of parenting, we have tried to be like the man who scatters seed on the ground (Mark 4:26-27), trusting that God will make the good seed sprout and grow, even though each child will receive it in different ways.

Norma Steven
Santa Ana, California

I wish that every Christian parent in America could read Christianity Today's January cover essay. A few months ago I would have patted myself on the back for raising three outstanding 20-somethings. Then my oldest son called me and broke my heart. We both wept. It took a lot more talking for us to come to a place of reconciliation. But how much better to relate honestly for the first time in years. And, more importantly, how vital to see my son for the young man he is instead of the false image the two of us had created.

I love my son more than ever. And I see my heavenly Father in a whole new light. Anonymous

Sex & the Older Single

January's Village Green, on "What's the best way to encourage people to save sex for marriage?" missed on a couple points. The word young should have come before people, as the column ignored the realities of older single adulthood. Most church leaders are married men who don't have a clue about the frustrations of long-term celibacy or of missing out on childbearing.

Donna Freitas's "Stop Talking Marriage" made some sense, but the "unfulfilling realities" of hookup culture also exist in long-term celibacy. Some single Christians have jettisoned indefinite abstinence, forming romantic relationships that may or may not involve sex and may or may not lead to marriage.

Celibacy is an extreme form of self-denial. If I had to do it all over again, I'm not sure that I would.

Gwendolyn T. Colvin
Raleigh, North Carolina

While Mark Regnerus's response to the abstinence question was a bit short on application, it did offer a necessary premise: The church is wrong when it accepts the cultural attitude that young marriage is bad. He rightly notes that the job of local congregations is to help young people discern God's will for their lives. Not all will be called to marry, but most will.

Article continues below

We in the West have forgotten how to live, and the church is complicit in this cultural amnesia. Our woes, however, are self-correcting: Cultures that do not foster healthy families collapse, and others with better family values replace them.

Darrin Rodgers
Springfield, Missouri

The Source of Bad Stats

Kudos for publishing the long-overdue survey of American religious research ["Chicken Little Was Wrong," January]. Ed Stetzer correctly notes the dangers of drawing conclusions from research that may not apply to the larger public or various subgroups therein.

Stetzer didn't address the widely reported research of the Barna Group. One of Barna's most publicized findings has been the decline of church leaders with a biblical worldview. One oft-quoted statistic: Only 71 percent of Southern Baptist pastors have a biblical worldview. That is impossible. The alternative? There must be something wrong with the way the concept is measured. The survey that measures biblical worldview includes eight statements. The person being surveyed must agree with all of them to classify as someone with a biblical worldview. Disagree with one, and you don't have a biblical worldview.

I can easily imagine both CT's founder and original editor not agreeing with at least one of the statements, depending on one's views on inerrancy, the source of moral truth, God's activity in the universe, and so on. Could it be that puzzling findings on Americans' religious beliefs are simply a function of method?

Stephen V. Anderson
Albany, New York

Statistics abuse is a disease of Western culture, not just of the church. Global warming advocates use the same apocalyptic language to make their case as do church leaders. Quoting scary statistics may motivate some, but it disillusions many others and reveals an insecurity about losing control.

Dale Fincher
Steamboat Springs, Colorado

Real-Life Introverts

I appreciated the coverage of my book, Introverts in the Church, in the January issue of CT ["Introverts for Jesus, Unite!"]. However, I want to challenge the reviewer's critique that "the author's solutions are too pastor-centric and by his own admission, theoretical."

I interviewed dozens of introverts—some pastors, some not—and the solutions I propose have been worked out in real, tangible communities over the past eight years. I intentionally went against my introverted tendencies to seek the input of others, and the practical steps I suggest all draw from and are confirmed by the experiences of introverts who are committed members of Christ's body.

Article continues below

Adam S. McHugh
Claremont, California

The Bible in High Def

I used to be unimpressed by Holy Lands visitors who returned from their trip making seemingly saccharine statements ["The Dusty Messiah," January]. Now I find myself talking like them. Our tour guide said it well: "It makes the Bible go from black and white to color." High definition, I would add. Traveling there made me see how much I had used the ancient setting of Scripture just to get to the abstract truths. I had discarded the setting like an unneeded garment. Being there re-clothed those truths and made them much more powerful.

Dave Montoya
San Gabriel Valley, California

Worth Repeating

"The movement will rise or fall with the dedication and obedience to God's Word, not because it is a magical entity."
Petraon, on the sustainability of the organic church movement.
"SoulWork: Long Live Organic Church!"

"I didn't think he came across as judgmental or sanctimonious. He simply shared his best wishes for a man in deep moral and spiritual trouble."
Tony Richie, on news anchor Brit Hume's on-air suggestion that Tiger Woods "turn to the Christian faith."
"Q&A: Brit Hume"

"Where was God? The same place he was when his Son died on the cross."
Denise Brostrom, on the question of theodicy during the Haitian earthquake.
"Women's Blog: Where Was God in the Earthquake?"

"The Israelites never did well [making] decisions based on popular polls."
Joe, on the ways Christians misinterpret or misuse statistics about the church.
"Curing Christians' Stats Abuse"

"If Denzel can take a violent character, arrest the attention of an audience with it, and then speak some significant truth into their minds, he's found his pulpit."
Pastor Phil, on Denzel Washington's Christian witness in Hollywood.
"CT Movies: Keeping the Faith"