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Both Chastity and Contraception: A Sacred Compromise

Churches discussing contraception with singles isn't about giving up. It's about being in a relationship with them.

After all, "just saying no" to premarital sex, important as it is, is not the heart of the gospel. The heart of the matter is saying yes to God. Maybe we often rely on shame and fear because it's hard to believe that people would say no to something as tantalizing as sexual pleasure if they didn't stand to lose something extremely valuable such as honor, the affection of family and church, or even eternal life. If people knew they were loved, no matter what, and that God and God's people would have their backs even if their own sin is the cause of their troubles, wouldn't they just sin freely because grace abounds? Perhaps some would, but even then, love can be a kindness that leads to repentance. Others may find the real reason to reject immorality: not for fear of shame, disgrace, or hell, but for love of the right and the good. Right loving—full of compromise, compassion, and companionship—is the best encouragement for right living.

Jenell Paris is professor of Anthropology and Sociology at Messiah College and author of The End of Sexual Identity and Birth Control for Christians.


Related Elsewhere:

This article is a response to Matthew Lee Anderson's "Why Churches Shouldn't Push Contraceptives to Their Singles."

Earlier Christianity Today articles on contraception include:

Weblog: Are Artificial Contraception Foes Anti-Sex? | The New York Times Magazine looks at the contraception wars (May 5, 2006)
A Hard Pill to Swallow | How the tiny tablet upset my soul. By Agnieszka Tennant (Nov. 8, 2005)
Unwanted Interruptions | Why is our culture so hostile to children-inside and outside the womb? An interview with theological ethicist Amy Laura Hall (June 22, 2004)
Has Natural Birth Control Been Proved Impossible? | Don't believe the media reports, cautions the author of Birth Control for Christians. By Jenell Williams Paris (July 15, 2003)
Make Love and Babies | The contraceptive mentality says children are something to be avoided. We're not buying it. By Sam and Bethany Torode (Nov. 12, 2001)
'Be Fruitful and Multiply' | Is this a command, or a blessing? By Raymond C. Van Leeuwen (Nov. 9, 2001)
Mourning the Morning-After Pill | Ever since the introduction of the birth-control pill, "liberated" Americans have hankered after still more spontaneity: they have wanted a "morning-after pill" to baby-proof their relationships. A Christianity Today editorial (Apr. 7, 1997)

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Comments

Displaying 1–3 of 26 comments

Mary Mueller

May 08, 2012  12:09pm

Nicely said, Chip.

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Mary Mueller

May 08, 2012  11:21am

This article depresses me. We can and must be in relationship w people both inside and outside of the church who don't follow biblical principles and commands regarding our use of God's gift of sex and sexuality. But this author's esponse is not good OR helpful in that regard. It is the job of physicians and other providers to discuss the pros and cons of the use of contraception and to provide same. It is the job of the church to envision, enlighten, encourage and exhort people who call themselves Christians to God's good ways regarding their sexuality. Any "compromise" waters down the truth- and the impact. As an older single, I need more and more robust theology to keep clinging to the right paths, not wishy-washy thinking that inspires me to--- nothing. My reaction to this article: heavy, heavy sigh.

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Daniel Hartshorn

May 05, 2012  7:15am

"...compromise can be sacred, even purifying us of our illusions of controlling others through well-intended religious influence." (Face palm.) Jesus says in Matt. 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

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