All Comments for: Practicing Chastity | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

Free Newsletters:

RSS Feeds |

Audio |

Twitter

Home > 2007 > March

Christianity Today, March, 2007 |

Practicing Chastity

A lifelong spiritual discipline for singles and marrieds.

Lauren F. Winner reviews Dawn Eden's The Thrill of the Chaste. | posted 3/15/2007 04:40PM

The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On
Dawn Eden
W Publishing, 224 pages, $13.99

Popular blogger and columnist Dawn Eden has written a refreshing call to chastity. ...

[Reader Reviews]

Average User Rating:

Rate and Comment on this article

Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 comments.

Page: 1

Show All

norinee

Posted: March 23, 2007 11:28 AM


Hello, As a 37 yr. old divorced woman I still struggle at times with God's desire for sexual purity in my life, but I know that it is for my good. I give continued encouragement to all who continue to live for God's will in their life

Jen	Posted: March 23, 2007 7:28 AM


I do agree that marriage is not the prize for chastity. I do believe that women (or men, for that matter) do not become complete through marriage. It is God who completes us.

may	Posted: March 22, 2007 3:55 PM


im sick of all this sex talk its even in the christian web sites.i am not a virgin im in my 30's and im a mother and i hate when people always bring up sex as if thats all we do lay around and have sex it's even in the radio.they can't have a decent conversationn without sex coming up there is more to us humans then sex.i like sex but im also more then that.

Emily

Posted: March 22, 2007 1:38 PM

I do understand where Dawn is coming from, however, all around me I am seeing women who are in relationships with men and some living together and they are getting everyday and staying married and they have good marriages. I am a christian who is 33 years old and waiting but this waiting is getting tiring. Yes I have a life and i travel and read my bible but i am not perfect and I have needs some sexual and some not but the bottom line is, that we are all human beings who have needs. It sounds like I have to perform tricks (Be on my best behavior) before god will bless me or give me a mate. I dont know its just my opinion.

William

Posted: March 21, 2007 6:10 AM


Good review. A note to Traci, above -- May our Lord Jesus Christ richly bless you in this life and the next. You are already a blessing to many.

Russ	Posted: March 20, 2007 8:43 AM

I can't believe Reality Check's statement: "there is not a single verse in the entire Bible that clearly and unambiguously states that God does not want people to have sex before they are married." Every dictionary I ever read defines fornication as sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other. The following English translations of Galatians 5:19-20 include fornication as one of the acts of our sinful nature or works of the flesh barring us from the Kingdom of Heaven: American Standard Version, Jerusalem Bible, King James Version, New Revised Standard Version, New Testament & Psalms: An Inclusive Version, New World Translation, Rheims New Testament, Revised Standard Version and Revised English Bible. The wage of sin is death. Moral licentiousness debases human dignity. Sexual practice external to marital commitment is not love. It is exploitation of another person for self gratification. You cannot find real love in the reckless pursuit of pleasure.

sam amodeo

Posted: March 19, 2007 9:12 AM


Re: Reality check. St. Paul, in one of his letters, writes that no fornicators will enter the kingdom of Heaven.

Petra

Posted: March 18, 2007 10:07 AM

I appreciate Winner's comments, but what she overlooks I think is that in the case of a Catholic like Dawn Eden, the question "am I called to marriage or to celibacy?" is always the first one, as the celibate vocation is strong in the Catholic tradition. But as D. E. seems to be quite clear about the fact that she is called to marriage, I would not criticise her for actually admitting it... Daniel: Chastity ultimately means "not objectifying anyone sexually". And also think about Jesus' words on looking on a woman with lust... These things apply to everyone, not just to single people. (And marital chastity INCLUDES marital relations, it is not opposed to it at all...)

Deanna

Posted: March 17, 2007 8:51 PM

After over three years widowhood, I can relate to the two stages very well! It really is not good for man (or woman) to be alone. Do I want to remarry someday? Yes. Am I willing to compromise my values, health, or mental wellbeing to do so? No. Do I know that God will match me with a husband again? No. Is that o.k.? Surprisingly, yes. God created me a complete person, not half of a couple. My sexuallity is just one part of the whole and, unlike what many people believe, sex is not required to live. Chastity is just another choice that we make in our journey to be what God wants us to be.

Chuck

Posted: March 17, 2007 3:53 PM

A whole article can be written on the Theology of the Body. This is a series of talks by the late pope that is increasing in popularity in the Catholic Church, but I fully believe it will sweep through the confines of the Protestant Church with even more furvor when it takes hold. It is very Bible based. I can't see Eden being in favor of chaste and married, though. That would be totally against Theology of the Body. I do believe that anyone living their life in God's will, whether married, single, widowed or divorced, has more in common with others like them than with people who are operating under their own will. The more we seek God, they less we seek ourselves, but we see the imprint of God's hand on ourselves and in others as well. And in understanding God's will in our lives, we find each other. BTW for info on Theology of the Body Fr. Thomas Loya in Chicago and Christopher West (Christopherwest.com). Worth a story

Traci

Posted: March 16, 2007 4:31 PM

Like Ruth I am 47 and never married and a virgin . Christian 27 years. Practicing chastity is the hardest thing I have ever done. Scripture in the Song of Solomon praises the shulamite maiden ..if she is a wall she will be adorned...if she is a door she will be boarded up.( paraphrase) While virginity does not seem to be valued that much anymore today I know Jesus values it,and hopefully if I marry my husband will too. The older I get I love Christ more,fear God and it just isn't worth it to get off His path in this area. Christianity is essentially a rescue religion and we can't help others if we are struggling ourselves. Marraige is a collegiate sport and I refuse to limp to the alter.

Mirele

Posted: March 16, 2007 8:47 AM

Why am I not surprised that CT would have a review of Dawn Eden's book by Lauren Winner? This strikes me as highly incestuous. Of course Lauren Winner is going to cheerlead for Ms. Eden's book and not look at it with critical eyes. There's something sad about lauding a professionally chaste single woman, as if there were nothing else Ms. Eden has done with her life that is worth discussing. I would be mortified if the only thing I was really known for was that I kept my legs closed.

Cheryl

Posted: March 16, 2007 7:12 AM

I have always been told that people who have the best sex are virgins when they marry. Pastor Tommy Nelson says "Marriage is for virgins". Alot of the debate and instruction in this area is a result of trying to get back to God's standards and obdience to his word. Because few actually do it ,that is why all the dialogue in my opinion. While we are forgiven positionally we are seated with Christ and all the promises are yes and amen, but renewing your mind can take decades.

Daniel

Posted: March 15, 2007 9:29 PM


I see Dawn's point about being chaste and single but I disagree with being chaste and married. Part of marriage as God designed it is for the man and the woman to fully enjoy each other.

Reality Check

Posted: March 15, 2007 4:40 PM

God created sex. God said sex was good. And it is. Dawn Eden is missing out on one of God's greatest gifts to mankind, and certainly one of life's greatest pleasures. There is not a single verse in the entire Bible that clearly and unambiguously states that God does not want people to have sex before they are married. Not one. Certainly, if God wanted us to pursue chastity he would have made it clear in his revealed Word. Sexual self control does not mean chastity, unless you have been granted the gift thereof, in which case sexual self control will not be an issue. I really have no idea why Christians are so hung up about sex, talking about it, but not having it, other than they are afraid of the experience of transcendence experienced thereby, or anything that might be enjoyable in and of itself. We were created for relationship, including sexual relationships. To deny oneself as has Eden is a denial of who we are, ie, sexual beings.

Ruth	Posted: March 15, 2007 2:16 PM

I am 50, happily single (never married) and celebate and I appreciated Winner's remarks. I wouldn't want to judge the book unfairly since I didn't read it, but the small excerpt indicating that chastity should be motivated by how it will affect one's future spouse/marriage is only true for those who marry. It is important for people to know that it's really ok not to get married and that it's really possible and desirable to remain chaste whether or not you see a "light at the end of the tunnel." I don't imagine there is sex in heaven but I do trust that the intimacy and pleasure that we'll experieince there will make it quite irrelevant. Whatever we have, we have for a short time. And as Christians, whatever we miss, we miss only for a short time.

Chris Burlew

Posted: March 15, 2007 1:07 PM

While I find that there is no “perfect” analogy for any Biblical precept I do admire Neal’s likening of chastity for married folks to Chastity for a single person to fasting at a buffet. I am struck by two things from the article, the first is the different points of view that we all have about sex, chastity and God’s direction for our lives here on this earth. Then secondly how easy it is to write an article about chastity and how impossible it is to live the life for some of us, especially in view of Jesus saying that to look at the person and think the thought is one in the same sin…..Define the chastity you are practicing please and why you think your are accomplishing such a perfect feat…. HELP….

Mike	Posted: March 15, 2007 11:52 AM

I commend Dawn Eden for her efforts. The reviewer points out rightly, that marriage is no reward for chastity, but chastity lived well will be rewarded in a marriage that is richer, more fully nuptual/conjugal and communicative in the best sense. Chaste relationships are relationships of gift-the gift of self to the other and the receipt of a freely given gift of the other. Many today are more concerned about what they can GET out of a relationship-not just sexually , but in many ways- we are utilitarian users rather than true Christian lovers.

Neil Gussman

Posted: March 15, 2007 11:45 AM

On a practical level, the difference between chastity for a happy couple with a healthy love life and for a single person with a desire for physical intimacy is the difference between fasting with breaks for meals and really fasting. And chastity in our culture adds the further difficulty of fasting at a buffet--the food might be bland, but there's lots of it. I very much admire those who are committed to a Biblical view of sexuality, but I admire the single folks a whole lot more.

Alex Baker

Posted: March 15, 2007 11:05 AM


My comment is that we need more Chastity so that this country doesn't recoeve the strong chastening from the LORD that it so deserves

Page: 1

E-mail this page

Write CT

Print this article

Post a comment