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Christianity Today, April, 2007 |

The Road to Healing

Battling homosexual attraction one day at a time.

Anonymous | posted 4/13/2007 09:07AM

Society holds up the athlete, the jock, the handsome hunk as the ideal man. Believing that lie, I didn't stand a chance while growing up. I was average in appearance, awkward as an athlete, and short. ...

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Brandon

Posted: June 15, 2007 4:36 PM


This is an awesome testimony of God's grace and how it must be expressed through His people. Healing and deliverence like this is found every week in churches with healthy Celebrate Recovery ministries.

Brandon

Posted: June 15, 2007 4:36 PM


This is an awesome testimony of God's grace and how it must be expressed through His people. Healing and deliverence like this is found every week in churches with healthy Celebrate Recovery ministries.

Caggie

Posted: April 26, 2007 9:40 AM

Althought I understand the internal conflict between what the Church says and what we say as individuals, isn't it more about being happy with what we think we are and not what others - The Church, our friends, God, think? We were all born with brains, we have the capacity to absorb information, articulate it, push its boundaries and test its validity. I am a gay man and I still struggle with my identity. But I know that the relationship I have with God exists on respect and understanding. Why? Becuase we are both individuals with the capacity to think, articulate, and push knowledge. As beings, there is that understanding that we differ, but we can co-exist by negotiating, and not obliterating, each other's points of views. After all, we do that with our own birth parents, don't we?

Lago	Posted: April 26, 2007 9:20 AM


You freaky Nazi weirdos! Have you no idea!? Even your own pastors acknowledge Homosexuality is god's creation, ancient Romans were practising it long ago. Selfrighteousness is a way to go to hell - isnt it?

Jim Frisbie

Posted: April 23, 2007 1:52 PM

The fact that the author felt the need to remain annoymous highlights the attitude of many evangelicals about homosexuality. The author's struggle resonates with the difficulty many Catholic priests have with celebacy. He is by no means "cured" of his "gayness", but rather living a trans-gender lifestyle. When are evangelicals going to wake up and realize that sexual orientation is a spectrum, not a toggle switch? A person's gender identity and sexual preference is a complex mix of genentics and experience. It is time we let go of the comdemnation and accept people for who they are. It is only with acceptance that we can truly focus on people being accountable for their actions rather than just guilty for their feelings.

Sandy

Posted: April 23, 2007 5:27 AM

Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate how you don't try to wrap everything up as if this is a finished work. It seems as if the wrapper-up people are the ones who end up going back to homosexuality. I have friends at outpostministries.org (Robbinsdale, MN) that have shown me the reality of what men struggle against versus homosexual women. My heart is to see not just lone ministries help Christians struggling with homosexuality, but that many ever-straights in the church equipped to reach out. It says in the word that "they go from strength to strength until they appear before the Lord in Zion" Ps. 84:7 To me, that's a call to the church to do what they can to be a source of healing as much as they're able..being part of the solution, but not the only one.

Steve

Posted: April 21, 2007 8:39 PM

Henry David Thoreau said that most people live lives "of quiet desperation". God never intended this, which is why he gave us the Church, the means by which we become the body of Christ. That which we CANNOT CONFESS - whatever it is, whatever the reason - holds power and sway over us, as this article so poignantly illustrates. Sadly, the reality of the church falls so dreadfully short of its ideal, as this article so poignantly illustrates.

Anonymous

Posted: April 20, 2007 10:00 PM

I have been healed and set free. I am a new creation in Christ. He has showed me how to live victoriously, albeit day by day... and I thank God for His grace. He has taught me to take my thoughts captive, and showed me the roots that helped drive me to women. I am happy to say that after eleven years of walking with Jesus, I am shame free; I have been privileged to help others towards freedom. Remembering the pain of where I was keeps me humble, and seeing the prize keeps me hopeful... : D

Andi	Posted: April 20, 2007 10:44 AM


My Dear Brother in Christ, Thank you for your testimony, your story is inspiring to me, because my best friend struggled with homosexuality, he even went as far as having a relationship with another man and contracted HIV he now has too take medication for the rest of his life, but because of this it has brought him closer to Christ he is now helping others to deal with the struggle.

Derek

Posted: April 20, 2007 3:55 AM


We need more of this kind of honesty in the church to help us realise that Compassion, understanding and truth are vehicles "the flock" need to minister in to encourage those who are struggling to better understand the heart of god,

Peggy

Posted: April 19, 2007 10:19 PM

Thanks for the courage to express this. It must have been very hard to do. I am sorry that you had experiences with counselors and churches who didn't help you; but I am glad you finally found someone to help. I am thankful to God that you didn't give up, that you are toughing it out, one day at a time. Your story gives testimony to God's great love for us, for His patience, faithfulness, forbearance, grace and mercy. I was blessed. Thank you. God bless you.

Anonymous

Posted: April 19, 2007 9:08 PM


As someone else who struggles with his sexuality, reading articles like this is so encouraging. I've only recently actively been seeking a way out and the road has been very rough, but the more I hear about successes, the more positive of an outlook it gives me for my future. Thank you so much and God bless!

Nathalie

Posted: April 19, 2007 1:39 PM

I find this an excellent article to guide Christian counsellors to handle homosexuality. Many do not have a real grasp of the struggles of individuals that they are trying to guide to the Christ life. You have explored the demands of such a lifestyle and given, in excellent snippets, methods of guiding others and even helping those who are gay to examine their lives and make sense of their urgings as God would have it done - not man.

Anonymous

Posted: April 19, 2007 1:13 PM


Thank you! This article has helped me in understanding how to love my friends who struggle with this issue. It even speaks to my "normal" heterosexual lust issues. Thank you for your honesty and openness.

MK	Posted: April 19, 2007 2:12 AM


I really appreciated the author's honesty and vunlerability. I was molested as a child. Although my struggles differ from the author's, I am blessed by his journey and insights on healing and relationship with God. Thank you.

Tonya

Posted: April 18, 2007 6:51 PM

I applaude you for coming forth. God has entrusted me with a deliverance ministry. Years ago, God graciously allowed me to intercede for a gentleman that's struggling with homosexuality. As a matter of fact, he under a ministry that condones it. My heart is very heavy that this spirit has dominating the gospel music industry as well. It's not ok to be that way, despite the false doctrine teaching that's has poisoned the body of Christ. These precious vessels are out of the will of God and we as believers need to pray that their hearts and minds be renewed so they can see and feel the love of God. Homosexuality is a choice. It's not God's will for anyone to be or stay in that condition. A male family member use to be a "down low" man, (I call it low down). He went through a deliverance and now he ministers to homosexuals, lesbians and low down people. I will continue to pray and fast for everyone's deliverance including mine God bless you all.

Yon	Posted: April 17, 2007 9:54 PM

I was back in my home town last week and learned that a guy I had known since middle school had committed suicide. I went to the viewing and spoke with several old friends and members of his family. He had struggled for years with being gay and ended his life with the fumes from his car. He tried marriage and it did not change him only made things harder. He, like I, was brought up in a strong baptist family who pushed the "you can change you just have to want to" philosophy in regards to being gay. No matter how he tried he could not change and felt that it was better to end things early as opposed to struggle through a life that he felt would ultimately end in hell anyway. What a sad case. Often I have seen churches kick people out instead of reaching out in cases like this. Abandonment can be deadly!

anon#2

Posted: April 17, 2007 6:55 PM


You are not alone. I too refuse to join the majority. Jesus is slowly healing my damaged masculinity. In a culture that has bought into the GLBQ agenda-we are the new underground-who cannot post our names either in churches or in the community.

Nikita

Posted: April 17, 2007 4:59 PM


Articles like these ought to be more openly available not only for homosexuals who are trying to overcome, but also for heterosexuals who needs help in moving past their sexual addictions. I'll be using it with my counsellees

Josh	Posted: April 17, 2007 4:34 PM

Brother, I sit here, in partcial tears. I sit in amazement after reading your testimony. I too, struggle with homosexual attractions. For eight years now, I have been feeding my lustful desires with both pornography and physical relations towards men. I became a Christian four years ago, and prayed earnestly for a release of God's power and that he would take away these same sex attractions- but nothing. Like you said, God was silent. Your entire story is exactly my story. I graduated from highschool and moved to start a three year degree in Theology, but dropped out half way through the first year due to my homosexual attractions. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Being real and sharing with one another is one of the best ways I find to ease the struggles I face. I have searched for people to come into my life to aid me in this healing process, which do not come overnight, like you said. Slowly, as i become more desperate for God and when things seems so low... He pulls threw

Kathy

Posted: April 17, 2007 4:21 PM

God bless you for your honesty, but isn't it sad (though very understandable) that you felt the need to remain anonymous. Your words - "What if the church were full of people who were loving and safe, willing to walk alongside people who struggle?" - summarise my feelings too. Only that way can we truly love others as Jesus did. Hypocrisy is as much a problem now as it was when Jesus walked on earth as a man: remember his words to the 'whitewashed tombs'. I believe God cares less about our views on issues such as divorce, abortion, homosexuality etc, but is instead far more concerned about how we treat those with whom we disagree. Isn't it desperately sad that many non-Christians judge God by how they see those who call themselves Christians behave, rather than looking first to the radical "friend of sinners"? Forgive us, Lord.

Andrew

Posted: April 17, 2007 12:11 PM

I have to say thanks for the article. I know this has got to be tough and I know I felt awkward when I lived next to a homosexual last year and I didnt know how to share the Gospel with him. I guess we all have insecurities that we need to deal with. I can relate a lot to what you say about lust and insecurities and Its brilliant to hera that if I try hard enough and ask God to help me then I can slowly free myself, with the help of his grace, from the prison ive built around me. Just to say Thank you for your article and its really great that you can speak about this openly as it does give the rest of us still to scared by our own failings hope. Cheers.

G.A.B.

Posted: April 17, 2007 9:15 AM

My battle with lust is like holding a water balloon in my two hands. When i squeeze out the sexual aspects of lust from my mind its like squeezing the water balloon with my left hand. All the water travels through the balloon to my right hand. Now my mind again is preoccupied with thoughts of a new vehicle or something else i really don't need. This is when i realise that lust comes in many disguises....so I squeeze my right hand and the water is now trapped between my two hands with nowhere to go. WOW what a relief!!! I can now just enjoy the day. and I can focus on others around me better. What freedom!!! Sometime I look at my hands, and the balloon is gone, and sometimes not. Sometimes a little water tries to trickle in one of my hands, and so I squeeze. I see this lust as anything that occupies the mind for a long unhealthy period of time, that robs us of the NOW, and leads to nowhere or worse!! Thank you FATHER for the lessons I am learning. Hope my rambling here helps someone....

Ray	Posted: April 16, 2007 10:24 PM

Brother In Christ, Long have i waited to read and know someones story of Gods mercy and grace, how nothing is impossible to God for those who truely desire with their whole heart, soul and mind to love and serve Him with every fiber of their being. i had lived a homosexual life for 30+ years, 21 years with the same man, whom i am still very good friends with. He is actually my best supporters in my choosing to live a celebate life, which will be 10 years in 2008. It was Sept. 8 1998 when God gave me the courage to leave the life of sin. The most difficult part was knowing how it was going to hurt my friend, but i loved God more. It was the most terrifying experience i ever endured, but love true Love conquers all fear. i chose celebacy because i had decided to completely sacrifice something of myself because my love for God is consuming and pray someday to completely devote my life to the Church. My spiritual director has asked me to write my story. which would help others. J.M.J. ray

NKCR	Posted: April 16, 2007 7:37 PM


"for i have learned my driving in a hard school." Thank you... the person who wrote this has no idea how big is the work that God is through him and i pray that he will bless you more than ever in all you do... I have just beleived that I am not alone and that I CAN WALK AGAIN! Thank you may God bless you

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