All Comments for: Surviving a Family-Wrecking Economy | Christianity Today

Free Newsletters:

RSS Feeds |

Audio |

Twitter

Home > 2007 > May (Web-only)

Christianity Today, May (Web-only), 2007 |

SoulWork

Surviving a Family-Wrecking Economy

What the church can do about working mothers.

Mark Galli | posted 5/17/2007 09:12AM

Mother's Day is past, and mothers are back to work, some in the home, some outside of the home, some doing both. And that's something to ponder.

As we might have guessed, Mother's Day is not only good ...

[Reader Reviews]

Average User Rating:

Rate and Comment on this article

Displaying 1 - 25 of 51 comments.

Page: 1 2 3

Show All

Ben	Posted: May 30, 2007 7:15 AM

My wife and I decided to try to live simply and split the young child raising phase between us - 3kids, 5 years each. Armed with my two masters degrees, I took my turn first. It's the toughest thing I've ever done, but the one accomplishment of which I am most proud. (I know it is a tough transition for educated or accomplished mothers too.) For all the rhetoric about mother is best, I would say that all things being equal, kids bond most with whichever parent is home with them. Also we discovered that I enjoyed the baby phase best, and my wife enjoys the older kids more, so it worked out great for us. Among my network of long-term at-home-dads, almost all the couples agreed that in their situation, the dad was best suited for the role of primary caretaker. Lest you confuse this with being effeminate, all my friends were quite macho, and one of them was a retired semi-pro rugby player from New Zealand. So friends, for men with the courage to be real men, there is another way.

Fiona

Posted: May 29, 2007 11:22 PM

Good to see an article like this. Overdue. The church has intentionally stayed out of this debate for fear of offending those who do choose to work. Unfortunately, this has left many Christians struggling to find an alternative to the 'consumeristic' family model. We need to go further than encouraging and supporting mothers in their role, to actively teaching from the Bible what a life-creating, culture-changing, disciple-making role motherhood can be!

Michelle

Posted: May 29, 2007 12:28 AM

This article brought nothing new to the story of working moms. If anything I found it paternalistic. I've been in ministry now for over 15 years and have many stories to tell of women whose husbands have left them and are now struggling because they never worked during the child rearing years. Men can move on. Women are left to struggle because of no fault divorces, laws created by men which create extra burdens for women. It would really be nice to see Christian men stand up for what is right and work to change these laws.

Taeler Morgan

Posted: May 26, 2007 2:15 PM

Shame on Galli for perpetuating the idea that mothers are the ones that should be held primarily responsible for being the stay at home parent. It is this type of thinking that allows Christian families to justify limiting God's work in their lives by refusing to acknowledge that God works as readily through wives as He does through husbands for the welfare of a family. If, instead of saying "mothers should, if financially viable for them, stay home to raise the children," we said "wives and husbands as partners should find ways to prioritze family togetherness" maybe we wouldn't have moms with kids in suburbia while dad's are commuting 2-4 hours a day. Father's share just as strong a bond with their kids but are relegated to 2nd class parenting citizenship, unless of course a "final decision" has to be made, I sure. Galli states that he isn't issuing a moral judgment on working mothers, but he is i that he assumes the best way to be a family starts with mom at home.

Been on both sides

Posted: May 20, 2007 5:39 PM

While this is a very interesting topic, and one I have debated at great length, I don't think the author's tone or perspective really adds anything to the discussion. I left a very stable, government job to be an at-home mother and my family suffered greatly. My husband struggles with stable employment due to a disability and we lived in poverty for over 10 years. During this 10 years, I also homeschooled, trying to be the "perfect" Christian wife and mother. Frankly, it drove me into a deep depression because I knew that if I was working we would be so much better off. This past year my three children all entered public school so that I could work. Now we are all thriving. My youngest is half-time daycare because both of our jobs don't allow for us to care for her before Kindergarten. Her childcare providers aren't "strangers" but loved and cherished parts of our extended, friendship family.

Denise

Posted: May 20, 2007 7:31 AM

I am a wife, mother of 4, and a working mother. Over 10 years ago I felt God's call to move into a ministry that is not highly recognized, Child Care. Our center is a Christian Child Care Center. It is a wonderful place full of God's Children and Christian staff, we show God's love, educate and help support the families that need to be working everyday. It is difficult to read an article that doesn't appear to be supportive of women and the workplace. God has a plan for every woman! It is important for families to be the center of a child's life but some women DO NOT HAVE CHOICES IN THE MATTER! There should be more articles to help support families/working mothers. The church does have responsibility in helping and the possiblilities are endless! God is the center of my family and I believe I am doing His will for us. If we are to help women in the workplace, supporting them with compassion and God's love are key!

JC	Posted: May 19, 2007 1:33 AM

As a stay-at-home dad, my wife and I have to make difficult intentional decisions regarding our family's financial priorities. Living on one income does not allow for the purchase of many of life's "luxuries." The family budget is tight but we have quality time with our son, not possible with alternate caregiving arrangements. We do not watch television or movies in the theatres so the temptation of materialism is greatly diminished. Most parents also have financial constraints due in part to the unfair tax burdens. We should fight presence of any marriage penalty tax. The child tax credit should not be cut in half from $1000 to $500. More mothers or fathers can stay home with their children when a greater portion of our salaries are shielded from the wasteful spending habits of Congress. Families can spend their own money with greater wisdom and care. Our big, bloated bureaucracy has absolutely no incentive to spend our tax monies with caution.

Brenda~

Posted: May 19, 2007 1:17 AM

Prov. 31 describes a wife of noble character. This woman is devoted to her husband, engages in manual labor, shops, has servant girls who probably help with the housework and childcare, makes decisions about investments, manages a business, is hospitable to the needy, gives faithful instruction, and watches over the affairs of her household. The trap of conforming to the pattern of this world, the love of money and/or self-centeredness can rob a mother of the ability to give her children and husband the attention she should give them. It is good for a mother AND father to regularly evaluate where their heart is. Work can become an addiction or a means to fill a sinful appetite. You must be the master over your work habits instead of allowing your habits to be your master. Parents should not neglect their calling to teach (Prov. 1:8) and to build compassionate relationships with their children as they manage family activities and promote a hospitable home atmosphere (Titus 2:3-5).

anonymous

Posted: May 18, 2007 10:19 PM

It's not only for young children. As a widower for several years and 4 children,3 now in college, what we missed the most was having my wife spend these past few years with teenage daughters, teaching them by example the things they should learn about living with others- much more important than their schooling where they "excelled despite the odds" according to the observers of our family. They are way too much like me, the stereotypical male, who like an older kid, doesn't live with being gracious always in the forefront of my behavior.

Karen

Posted: May 18, 2007 4:29 PM


Mother's Day started out as a call to mothers to raise their voices for peace. Now, it is nothing more than 'an important contribution to the economy'. Why didn't the author suggest a return to the origins of Mother's Day instead of pushing faith-based daycare so that a few women who want to stay home can at the expense of the women who can't?

JoAnna

Posted: May 18, 2007 2:13 PM

I am a stay at home mom. When I quit my job I earned 20 grand more than my husband and we really didn't know how we would survive. All I knew was that from the time my first son was born - this was the purpose God had for my life. No "stuff" could surpass the value of the time or love I had for my child (now children). I agree - women are naturally wired with the desire to love and nurture. It's insanely hard and we are constantly "cutting" and revamping our budget but coming from a "reformed shopaholic" IT'S WORTH IT!! I don't agree with the idea that stay at home moms should take on other children from people in the church who "need to work". A large number of people I speak to that consider themselves as "NEEDING" to work is ridiculous. Knowing all the continuous financial sacrifices we are forced to make, I would resent caring for children for free so they could continue their consumerism lifestyle. I am however, eternally grateful for the privledge of raising my kids!

Ted Voth Jr

Posted: May 18, 2007 2:05 PM


Once in a while CT gets it right. This is that 'once in a while'. The Church needs to understand what 'pro-family' really should mean vis a vis a heartless worldly capitalist economy...

anony-mouse

Posted: May 18, 2007 1:43 PM


the entire tone for the article is set with the subtitle: "what the church can do ABOUT working mothers". Not what the church can do FOR working mothers, but what can be done ABOUT them.

Kate	Posted: May 18, 2007 11:46 AM

I too am a working mom (single) and most of my work is INSIDE the home! Circumstances for us with no child support due to deadbeats and lack of other 'help' force us to work outside in jobs we cannot stand sometimes. Although my girls and I have had to utilize the 'system' for rent and food, (your tax dollars hard at work, thank you very much) I chose to use this help to return to a college education. I graduate in the Fall, but also have not had the funds to get child care if I wanted to. They go with me almost everywhere, regardless. Yes, the ideal is that the church would step up and do more; but even that is a fantasy! After a gift of a few million, a church still refused to help single parents (and others) with their family needs. Actually, my secular friends have been more help to me than most of my Christian friends.

Jan	Posted: May 18, 2007 11:06 AM


I think the next challenge for Mark Galli, and all who would continue to debate the nature of women's work, is to rewrite this article substituting the word "father" wherever he wrote the word mother. This might shed some light on both the ridiculous nature of the many of these discussion about women's work, and the lack of discussion about men's work outside and inside the home.

Janice-again

Posted: May 18, 2007 9:18 AM

Yes, Mark, that is what I was suggesting, not church daycare or any alternate care, but stepping into the lives of others in a REAL way. Being in such close relationship that one can take care of what needs to be taken care of so that Moms CAN be home. Truth is that is really what most evangelicals believe, yet they sidestep the issue these days. One other idea is that of alternate work schedules - one parent works during day and one in the evening or on weekends. Most Moms and Dads don't SOME time apart from their children whether its with friends, volunteering. etc so the work schedule could be broken into alternate segments. It requires that together time really BE together time, not the emotionally vacant time that is so often seen in many households. We'll have to agree to disagree on the whole nurturing thing as I don't believe its a gender specific issue. Perhaps what we see is a result of the fall & a degredation of original God given abilities with men masking or losing theirs

Working Mother

Posted: May 18, 2007 9:17 AM

Sadly, the church continues to degrade, and shame mothers who work. Many mothers are working because they have no financial choice. Anyone living on the East or West Coast can attest to this. Rent is barely affordable, never mind trying to purchase a small, livable home in which to raise your children. Here is a new, biblical idea—why doesn’t the church stop hammering working mothers and start helping? Let’s return to an Acts 2 experience. Everyone shares what is common and helps each other in Christian charity. This would be the exact opposite of Kate who responded on this article displaying bitterness and anger towards working mothers who have asked her for help. If “Christian” women like her are to be “helping” me as a working mother, I’ll day a non-Christian day care any day. I wouldn’t leave my dog in her care.

H. D. Schmidt

Posted: May 18, 2007 7:10 AM

I suggest that unless mothers of America again truly become mothers to their children, instead of daycare centers, this nation will only, more and more, pay tribute to the Soviet Union and doing even worse. I suggest to Mark Galli, to take a look at a new book by Benjamin R. Barber, just off the press, entitled: "Consumed". How markets corrupt children. Infantalize adults. and swallow citizens whole. Benjamin R. Barber is the Kester Professor of Civil Society, at the University of Maryland. In my estimation, this books is a Godsend at the time when America is totally enslaved to the worst pagan materialism the world has ever known, especially so, because this Nation was Founding By God Almighty Himself, to be the light of the world, as final chance for humans to make this a better world. However, failing in just about everything, exactly like the Children of Isreal of old. Finally rejected by Jesus himself when walking he dusty roads of Palestine. This book is a must to be promoted!

Becky

Posted: May 18, 2007 7:07 AM

Why does the author suggest that the only reason women work is related to finances or that not working is related to the love of their children? I know many mothers who return to work (for schools, churches, non-profits and corporations) becuase they miss the opportunity to use the intellectual, creative, leadership and relational gifts God has given then to serve a community beyond their household - whether or not that work provides a significant income stream.

lelde

Posted: May 18, 2007 1:27 AM

mother at home, and proud and happy to be one, i agree with everything in the article. it's so much easier to leave your small children to samebody else and off you go.... but then don't expect them to grow up and behave in a way you - the parent should have tought them. because you were not there when they needed you. i receive often compliments on how well my children are behaving and are nice. it is not difficult - simply I (mother who cares) am staying with them those few first years of their lives. and praying for them.

Cherry

Posted: May 18, 2007 1:23 AM

Tank You! For this reassuring article. I am a single (usualy working) mother. I only have a son, but it seems to me it's even more difficult with one, because all hes attention is turned on me all the time. Thank God I have friends who care for me, but they (especcially the ones with no kids) don't understand what it is like, to do it all by yourselve all the time.. I totally agree with You on the idea that "---spiritual mothers and fathers regularly take into their homes the children of mothers who really do have to work, so that those children can continue to nurtured by family during those working hours". If I knew My kid is safe and watched, I could get a better job, so I could afford to take him somewere myselve... This is why God gave me the idea to become a nanny myselve. To be a blessing myselve. He told me : why wait while someone comes to help you, when in the meanwhile you can do for others what you want(need) them to do for you..

Amy	Posted: May 18, 2007 12:12 AM

Six months ago, I left a fulfilling teaching career and ministry to stay home with my daughter. In my experience, I believe that the reason women work has less to do with the money and more to do with identity. We live in a fast-paced, task-oriented society where a person finds their identity in their work. Though I whole-heartedly believe in being a stay-at-home mom, and I have no intention of going back to work until my children are raised, it has been a struggle to give up exciting work and ministry for changing diapers and cleaning up messes. Simply put, being a stay-at-home mom is totally mundane. It is definitely a sacrifice. I remember overhearing a co-worker once sheepishly admit that she put her daughter in day care even during her vacations. Why would she do that? Money has nothing to do with it. Perhaps the church can best help in this area by reaffirming the mother's role and giving her support and encouragement where she needs it.

Rev. Carlene

Posted: May 17, 2007 11:26 PM

I think the over 2 million stay at home dads in the U.S. would disagree with you that "no father can match the nurturing care that a mother gives." Before I was a minister, I used to run an entertainment agency, and one of my keyboardists was a stay at home dad--his wife was a hospital pharmacist. When visiting with them at home, it was quickly apparent who was the more nurturing one--and it wasn't the mom. She was definately more geared for the workplace. Just because a woman carries a baby in her womb for 10 lunar months, is no guarantee that she's going to be nurturing or even bond with the child after he or she is born. If that were true there'd be no children who were abused, abandoned or murdered by their mothers and we could eliminate the DCFS and its very flawed foster care system. In the first church I pastored my youth group not only had foster kids in it, but also a teen who'd been on her own since age 11 because from the time she was little her mother didn't want her.

Karen P

Posted: May 17, 2007 10:57 PM

I have worked both in a Day Care and as a Nanny. I saw first hand the effects of the warehousing children had on both the kids personally and on family dynamics. I vowed to never put my own in those situations. I now have two children and a home office managing a small company. I also homeschool both kids. I have a monsterous to-do list and though many days tick in a perfect rhythm, others collide like a bomb went off. I have been at it long enough to know that the collision days will work out. I would not trade the time at home with my kids for anything. Merely reading to them at lunch has been life changing for all of us not to mention all the other amazing moments that I would never trade. I have been blessed with a unique situation, good people to work with, the flexibilty to run a home office with cell phone and email on laptop. But given the choice between kids or work, the work will go.

Dee	Posted: May 17, 2007 7:34 PM

You have said wonderfully everything I believe about our "culture". Children really do need their Moms and "quality time" does not make up for spending only a few hours a day, or less, with them. Thanks for having the guts to tell it like it is. I know that some women really have no choice and must work outside the home. My own Mom was one of them. I missed her terribly for a long time, and then learned to get along on my own. We survive, but many children have emotional scars that will always be with them. Your solution is a good idea. but most people, even Christians, do not seem to care. There is very little concern or compassion for single working Moms in most churches. Instead they are judged for "getting themselves in that situation in the first place!" So much for Christian love.

Page: 1 2 3

E-mail this page

Write CT

Print this article

Post a comment