All Comments for: An Older, Wiser Ex-Gay Movement | Christianity Today

Free Newsletters:

RSS Feeds |

Audio |

Twitter

Home > 2007 > October

Christianity Today, October, 2007 |

An Older, Wiser Ex-Gay Movement

The 30-year-old ministry now offers realistic hope for homosexuals.

Tim Stafford | posted 9/13/2007 02:19PM

Since its beginnings in the 1970s, the ex-gay movement has engaged gay advocates in a battle of testimonies. Transformed ex-gay leaders are the best argument for their movement. Likewise, those who've ...

[Reader Reviews]

Average User Rating:

Rate and Comment on this article

Displaying 1 - 25 of 36 comments.

Page: 1 2

Show All

Wendy Mutchler

Posted: September 27, 2007 11:37 AM

I was encoraged by this article. Encouraged by leaders of organizations that don't give out quick answers, stay steady through the years, and continue to give out a message that some are hungry for. I attended a Love Won out conference two years ago. I was struck by the love and humility of the presenters. I was also blown away by the hatred of many who came out to protest the very presence of such a conference in their city. I still struggle to understand why there is such hatred towards organizations that offer hope to those looking for a way out. I wish there was a quick fix. It strikes me as truth that it is a life long journey. I have seen the same with people coming out of addictions and dealing with accepting mental health disorders. I have known the same dealing with my own "humanity". Keep on getting this message out.

everett l williams

Posted: September 25, 2007 9:22 PM

What is really bad about being Gay.The Bible's condemnation was because Israel needed men and population and being gay did not help solving that problem. In our time the world is suffering from overpopulation mankind is about todestroy our planet. So being gay helps. I wrote about this over ten The outcast If I were a man or a woman gay(and definitely I'm not} I'd write a poem and say I don't know why I am this way, but some say a little gene went astray, All I know is I'm not normal, according to people exactly formal, To them I'm a freak,, a fag, a queer acceptable only when I'm not near But Ive got two arms, two legs, a mind, and I look like all mankind Do you suppose I could be so bold to claim God gave me a soul You say God did make, do you suppose for a moment his hand did shake And one of ten in all the firmament, to nine of ten a different? With a man's body and a woman's mind, is it possible peace to find? Here am I living in sin you say, bu

Michael

Posted: September 25, 2007 8:30 PM

I find it upsetting that gay activist movements have so many people so bluffed. Regular people who sin in that way are conned into believing it is inevitable. Considering the strength of some sex drives it is not surprising that victims swallow that. In laboratory settings men have even been quickly trained to be sexually aroused by a high heel squeezing toothpaste. How much more 'training' have homosexuals had after years of promiscuity? I am a married man who became a Christian as an adult after leading a life similar to homosexuals but heterosexual. My addiction continues but with God's grace I have not fallen. Addictions are always challenging. Satan keeps trying. The only help for homosexuals is in Christian groups. Thus years of homosexual 'training' is not replaced with gradual heterosexual training. Obviously that approach can't be used in the context. Homosexuals with a secular mindset have no secular solution. However nothing is too hard for God if you accept His grace.

Cliff

Posted: September 23, 2007 7:58 PM

If you follow Christ and you believe the scriptures are true and you read Romans why would you not want to try to keep his commandments. If you really love him you will keep his commandments. You won’t have sex with someone that is the same sex. You would say that the will of Christ my Savior my God my best friend is more important to me than some temporary pleasure that may be forgotten tomorrow. But if I do his will I can have his warm arms around me and bask in his love for eternity. Christ loves the sinner but not the sin. The 5 maidens were kept out of the marriage feast. Christ didn’t love them any less than those that were prepared or had kept his commandments. I would rather be on the inside than the outside. He didn’t forgive the harlot, he told her to sin no more. Once she stops sinning then she can repent and start keeping the commandments and then she and we will be saved through the grace of Christ after all we can do.

Mandy

Posted: September 23, 2007 1:16 PM

How many times do we read in the gospel Christ's call to surrender our lives, our rights to ourselves and live in obedience? The bottom line of this article is just that- Christ's call to the homosexual is no harder and no easier than His call to all who would follow Him. "Take up your cross and follow...". I've had the priveledge to hear Andy Comisky speak and he says that the church failed to call people to sexual purity when hererosexual immorality increased. The only way to get it right is to make sure that all hear this call to die to self, not one particular group. God doesn't make anyone homosexual any more than He makes them an adulterer, a prostitute, or a pedophile. Our attractions come to us uninvited and seem "natural" to us, but the Bible says "There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death." The way of God and of life in Him seems unnatural, but only because it is beyond the ability of flesh to accomplish alone.

Jude	Posted: September 22, 2007 10:38 PM

The gospel changes us, the gospel saves us. I was surprise that this article turned into such a message only because, as a heterosexual myself, I have been assuming that ex-gay movements only goal was to make people become heterosexual. I didn't realize, that they only tired to help people deny thyself and follow Christ, in being obedient to His word, which is the central theme in the gospels. This reminds me of Paul praying to God three times pleading that his "throne in the flesh" be removed and God's answer "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. Our "thorns in the flesh" are here so God's strength be made perfect. We will struggle with sin all our lives, but isn't it amazing that we have a God, who will always be there and His strength will be shown through our weaknesses. I like Paul's answer "Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me..." 2 Cor. 12:9

Doreen Pettit

Posted: September 22, 2007 6:07 PM

This is a 5 star article. Thank you so much for giving us the meat of what these faithful ministries of God are seeking to do and are doing. We all struggle with sexuality in some way or another as we do with any fleshly appetite, God given or not. I relate with all of you in sharing the sufferings of Christ because we are choosing a road less traveled, the road to desiring God more than anything else and desiring to be fruitful. I especially hold dear the emphasis on "identity." In heaven no one will be introduced by a fleshly coping mechanism or sin but God will use the new name that He has chosen for each of us. All of you...Keep close to the heart of God and don't give up the work or struggle. My prayers are with you.

Chris

Posted: September 19, 2007 2:48 PM

When it comes down to it, the argument of, "no one ever really changes" and arguments like it are not just about ex-gays vs gays but are about the power of the gospel to change a person if it is believed. It doesn't matter what the sin is, if the gospel is not believed in a person's life, there will be no "success" (as if Christianity's ultimate goal was to make people not gay). In fact, the gospel is the power for those who believe. It doesn't matter if I am straight and in bondage to sex or if I am simply gay--the gospel can free anyone who believes but only those who believe. So, people who state things like, "no one ever really changes" not only do they not believe the gospel changes anyone but they do not believe the gospel personally at all. It will be hard to find an "unbiased" report on this issue anytime soon!

ohamanda.com

Posted: September 19, 2007 1:33 PM


Wow! What an amazing article. I'm going to have to read it again. "Our attractions, always disordered to some extent, must be submitted to Christ, who alone can redeem us." sums it up perfectly!

Chris

Posted: September 19, 2007 11:45 AM


"I choose every day to deny what comes naturally to me" It also comes naturally to walk on two legs. Should we deny that too since we should all be in servitude? Should we force ourselves to "walk" on our knees?

Dan	Posted: September 19, 2007 8:35 AM

I am an Exodus ministry director in the Detroit area. We come under such criticism and invalidation from the gay community, and even some in the Christian community, that I can't tell you how comforting it was to see such an accurate portrayal of the heart of Exodus and the ex-gay movement. I and many of my friends are living testimonies that change is possible as we walk with God and surrender our lives to Him. Thank you for understanding us.

jayupark

Posted: September 19, 2007 8:24 AM


Will the liberal left ever learn to look at the big picture? :P Take a chill pill nonsense (previous reviewer). We defiantly need to have a holistic theology, and we definitely need to be wary of taking extreme sides. This article seems to be very well balanced.

Graham UK

Posted: September 19, 2007 5:50 AM

God is the goal resonates through reading this article. Christians face the same issues whether feeling homosexual or heterosexual desire. To label me I am a flawed heterosexual man with failed marriage and healed relationships including my relationships with my ex-wife and my five wonderful children. It is through my true contribution to life and in the ordinariness of every day relationally with others that I grow towards my goal; God is the goal! It has taken time to choose to resist tempting sexual 'fixes'. My life is committed to my vocation and it is in truly discerning my vocation and living it that the good decisions come in His grace and mercy. When all is done in this world we will need to answer at least two basic questions: 1) Are my relationships in order? and 2) Have I contributed using all my talents? It is the living the answers to those questions that overcomes all in Christ.

Simon Clarke(non de plume)

Posted: September 19, 2007 2:20 AM

"The ex-gay movement does not speak with one voice on the causes of homosexuality, but most believe that early childhood deficits are crucial—often a poor or nonexistent relationship with a father, prepubescent sexual experiences, or sexual abuse, especially for women. Many believe that homosexuality is fundamentally a crisis of masculinity or femininity—a subconscious attempt to meet legitimate emotional needs for relationship and affirmation through sexual means. Ex-gay groups are usually single-sex, because supportive friendships within your own gender are believed to be an important component of repairing damaged sexual identity." end of quote. I agree wholeheartedly. Dealing to the roots will see the person well on the way to freedom from this driving force. Your God is too small if you cannot believe to become free after Jesus help you deal to each root.

Kathryn Wilson

Posted: September 18, 2007 4:02 PM

Becoming heterosexual is not out of the question for ex-gays, because in Christ all things are possible, but the general goal for those who seek help is to know the love of God and to find their core identity not as "gay" but as "saved by Christ" from sin. Sin will not exist in heaven, but sin and its consequences are all too real on Earth. Christians have to remember their spiritual identity as loved and valued by God, who no longer sees us as a sinner, but as his precious child. The blood of Christ shed on the cross broke the power of sin to condemn us to Hell, but did not free us from worldly temptation, or from choosing to sin. For those Christians who suffer sexual problems, not only those in the LGBT community, but also those who are survivors of sexual abuse, trapped in pornography, adultery, or even perpetrators of sexual abuse, all need to have the support of the Church. There's no condemnation in Christ. We all need Christian fellowship to help us through life.

John	Posted: September 18, 2007 12:40 PM

Amid the hostile and juvenile debating brought on by this article, nobody mentions what would seem to be most important; that is, if a person is uncomfortable with his or her homsexuality and seeks to change, then finds himself or herself happier for the effort and/or success, what possible justification can there be for the pitiful left-wing blather against bigoted Christians and this research and for sexual freedoms. There are former homosexuals in my church. According to their own claims — the only claims that I consider valid — they are glad to have stopped engaging in sexual acts with members of their own gender. Too bad the current members of the gay community don't care for their happiness.

Deacon Steve

Posted: September 17, 2007 10:26 AM

I must agree with "nonsense". Only in America! The "Ex-Gay" movement is a sham. The 'research' at Wheaton will be torn apart leaving everyone no further ahead. Again the Church manages to shoot itself in the foot as it shoots its wounded. The Gospel of Jesus Christ as Todd points out, is the only liberator. As a servant of many gay and lesbians, Christian and non-Christian I can point only to the love of Christ -- accepting, forgiving, and life-affirming of human sexuality as expressed in loving relationship.

Steve Parelli

Posted: September 16, 2007 7:41 AM

At last, a reality check from within the evangelical ex-gay movement. 30 years old and at last the the ex-gay movement knows what it wants to be, knows what it can't be and and is making changes accordingly. Age-wise it sounds like the story of most individual gay Christians, that is, by the time they are thirty years old or by the time they have spent three decades trying to "change" they make a course change for themselves from trying to be heterosexual to accepting and celebrating their same-sex attractions within the joy of a same-sex union (call it marriage, please). The sad thing is: these individuals, for 30 years, have used the greater part of their energies to attempt what God has nowhere in Scripture mandated that they should attempt. They have sadly invested huge amounts of time and personal resources in "change," when the same energies and resources could have gone into their career or education, for example. Will the ex-gay movement live to see another 30 years?

Brenda

Posted: September 15, 2007 7:59 PM

I’m not gay or ex-gay, but I’m interested in this. In a way, I might be better off if I ignored it and was concerned about only my own life, but Christians are mysteriously driven to care about other people and to be bugged by sin. It is good to hear the status of those who are at the frontlines, serving those who are looking for a way to stand up against these temptations. Their perseverance is honorable. And, those who are seeking help are courageous. There is difficulty in denying oneself certain sins, but there is also suffering for giving in to them. The type of suffering that accompanies self-control brings a different sort of satisfaction, gain or pleasure. The rationalized allowance of sinful behaviors in one’s life causes a more insidious suffering. Jesus himself suffered when he was tempted, so he is able to help those who are being tempted ~Heb. 2:18. The cry of our hearts is that of Jesus’: “neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin”. May God bless you.

Kevin

Posted: September 14, 2007 10:32 PM

I'm fortunate too also enjoy a loving and committed relationship. However, being "loving and committed" does not satisfy the biblical qualification for a relationship that God recognizes, honors and blesses. This is reserved exclusively for heterosexual, monogamous marriage. As rape, incest, prostitution etc., do not fit this category, there is no moral equivalence here. However, with all sensitivity, I truly and sincerely sympathize with the excruciating burden and struggle those GBLT's who also share this, I believe correct, view of scripture. The good news is, the heart of a relationship is struggle, and our relationship with God is the most intimately powerful one we will ever know. It is also the one with the greatest struggle, but also the greatest reward. Gay, straight, whatever, we all struggle. That's why Paul said, "be not weary in well doing, for in due season, we shall reap, if we faint not". Keep the Faith!

Ted Voth Jr

Posted: September 14, 2007 8:22 PM

"Hear me loud and clear: You're not going to get cured this week. … We don't choose our feelings, but we do choose how we are going to live. I choose every day to deny what comes naturally to me. … I have to rely on Jesus Christ every day." Interesting; sounds just a lot like what I go through as a 'recovering heterosexual'. That is, after a life where I've repeatedly kicked over the traces and committed fornication, the Lord has taken me back again. Now I believe what I've always known but not practiced, that He wants me to lead a chastely celibate life, unless and untill He brings 'a sister, a bride' into my life. Or it sounds a lot like what I experience as a 'recovering depressive'... Christ has been made unto us Wisdom; and also Righteousness, at once; Sanctification, in process; and ultimately, Redemption; and the process of Sanctification is lifelong: roughly, 1st Corinthians 1.30.Blessed be God.

Dave	Posted: September 14, 2007 7:46 PM

As long as the ex-gay movement continues to associate with NARTH, take money from FOTF, look a PFOX as anything but a mouthpiece for the bitter and hostile and still despite it's clearly flawed nature use Paul Cameron's vomit as a source of info they will have NO validity. When they separate from the anti-gay politics of the toxic right and truly seek to minister to those who cannot reconcile their sexual orientation with their faith, then they will be worth supporting. When they honestly admit that the goal of "heterosexuality" is one of the biggest reasons why there are so many who leave defeated and more broken than when they went in then they may be able to truly help people. After all that's what they claim they want to do.

Christy Tucker

Posted: September 14, 2007 6:14 PM

I am a a Christian and a Lesbian. God made me homosexual and I have nothing to be ashame of being homosexual. It is not a sin and not a choice. God gave me this unique gift of homosexuality just like heterosexuality. It is not a sin if you are in a loving and commited relationship. The only time it is a sin is rape, molestation, prostiution, adultry, and promiscuous. If I remember I believe these acts of heterosexuality is a sin. When you fundamentalmentalists will learn. Ex-Gay ministries is a fraud. Please do leave the the GBLT community alone if you don't have a nice word to say about us and stop being hateful words and actions. We are God's children too.

Brian

Posted: September 14, 2007 5:18 PM

Although I find the article informative, I find the gay/ex-gay debate a bit misconstrued as far as Scripture is concerned. I believe that if you group homosexual activity in with the rest of sexual immorality (as Paul did) you will realize that we should pay more attention to sexual immorality of any kind, including the heterosexual type, which runs rampant in our society today. I do think homosexuals get the brunt of the criticism, while sexual immorality of the heterosexual type is largely ignored. They are both sinful acts in their own right, and difficult to overcome without the aid of God's grace. I do believe that God expects those who are unwilling to marry someone of the opposite sex to abstain from sexual activity entirely (regardless of their attraction) while those who are willing to marry should do so. There is not much difference to God as both are lustful perversions and difficult if not impossible to overcome without the help of God's grace.

sandra

Posted: September 14, 2007 3:39 PM

I enjoyed this article because it comports with my life's experience and observances. Real change is hard. The path to subjecting oneself to the Lord is one requiring daily discipline. This is true for all who wish to follow Christ with changed hearts, not just those wishing to change their sexual habits. As for the criticism that a person who teaches or is an administrator at a conservative college cannot be trusted, what bigotry! The writers of the article deserve to be heard because they present facts, reasoning, and conclusions in a respectful way. I hope the conservatives who read my writing do not judge me by where I teach (in a liberal college) or strictly by the methods employed by my academic discipline (my doctorate is in law), but by the content of my writing and, more importantly, by my faithfulness to Scripture and my love of others.

Page: 1 2

E-mail this page

Write CT

Print this article

Post a comment