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Christianity Today, February (Web-only), 2009 |

SoulWork

An Entertaining Saboteur

Facebook promises to connect us to one another. Is that what you are doing right now?

Mark Galli | posted 2/05/2009 01:36PM

I don't believe Facebook is intrinsically evil.

This is not a promising way to begin a column, but it must be said upfront so that readers don't think I'm a Luddite. I am actually on Facebook and have ...

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Todd Thompson - Lubbock, TX

Posted: February 11, 2009 12:53 PM

It's true that while fb connects people, there is an inherent loneliness to it all. No small amount of "on the outside looking in". A fact that is more difficult to deal with if one is (like me) living far away from all their established friends in a place they never expected or wanted to live. Still, "saboteur" is too strong a word for it, I think. That implies that fb has intent to subvert genuine relationships. In this, I think the author's article title is too strong. fb is just one of many connectivity tools in the world we live in. No, I can't do the "in person" friendship thing with the 240+ people in my friend block. But if being able to tell someone I haven't seen in 20 years and may not see in the next 20 that I still think of, care for and pray for them helps move God's kingdom a tiny bit forward, then it's a good thing.

Josh	Posted: February 10, 2009 3:58 PM

It's all a question of what you use Facebook for. While it is fun ("relational entertainment" puts it well) to find old friends on FB, its real value for me is maintaining a daily connection with those in my church community. We are a young church (mostly 25-35 year olds) and most of us are on FB and love hearing the tidbits. And as the pastor, i can use it to stir interest in Sunday's sermon or send some personal encouragement.

Kevin

Posted: February 08, 2009 11:06 PM

Mostly disagree here. Sorry. They are many assumptions made in the article that the author makes from himself that presupposes we all agree with. Facebook is a first step. As with any "real" relationship, we choose the depth and authenticity. I have reconnected with many people I had lost touch with. Again, making the choice of how much I want to connect. So I suggest we have absolute control over electronic relationships as we do real face to face kind. It is another medium that we need to figure out the rules and expectations about.

Anonymous

Posted: February 06, 2009 8:01 PM

Like any technology -- the printing press, the telephone, the wheel, for heaven's sake -- social networking sites can be used for good or ill. I have close friends I keep in real touch with via Facebook, because our work schedules clash and "face time' is difficult to arrange. In this way we have often encouraged each other in really serious circumstances. It has also been helpful for me as a shy person, in getting to know people at my church who I might not speak to in person. A chat on Facebook, a comment on status or family vacation photos, helps me feel better about approaching these people at church, some of whom I've worshipped with for years and whose children have grown up with mine, but with whom I've been too shy to initiate conversation. This has lead to accepting volunteer opportunities I've never taken on before. It's good to examine and question our technologies in light of corrupt human nature, but I have experienced Facebook mostly as a blessing.

NS	Posted: February 06, 2009 7:52 PM

Great article. Although it is my generation that started Facebook, I have never participated in it. It's a superficial popularity contest for the most part, and leads to "connecting" but not real bonding, as the author above said. I have never seen actual evidence that Facebook leads to a real friendship. My husband has Facebook and some of my friends are on there who live far away, and looking at their pictures just reinforces how distant we are from each other, in that I am not a part of their everday life and don't know half the people in the pictures. I'm not interested in a catalogue of my friend's life; I'm interested in the experiences we share together.

George Parker

Posted: February 06, 2009 5:26 PM

Hmmm...while the article does contain an element of truth, I have to say that my Facebook experience has been different from what the author describes here. Because of Facebook, I have gotten back in contact with scores of people that I have not heard from in over twenty-five years. True...this contact has not been as intimate as those relationships with people I talk to face-to-face. But I HAVE discovered all of the wondeful things my highschool classmates have accomplished with their lives, and the trials and hardships they have faced and overcome through the years, or are experienceing right now. Things that used to be barriers between us in high school are no longer barriers at all. I admit, my particular class seems to have gone out of our way to share more personal things with each other than seems to be the common experience, and have even arranged for many face-to-face meetings. I would not trade my Facebook experience for anything.

Amy T.

Posted: February 06, 2009 3:25 PM

I love Facebook. In the last year I have connected with people from each stage of my life, friends I once cared about at age 7, 15, 23, 30, 35 ... If not for FB I most likely would never have seen or heard from these individuals again. For me, there is something important (and even healing) about restablishing ties to the past; people with whom I share history, stories, and significant milestones in my life. In the last year I have laughed with childhood friends, talked about growing older, shared my faith, and generally marveled at the passage of time. I have also enjoyed hearing about the mudane details of their lives through updates; it's in the every day that our relationships have been rekindled. Sounds silly, I suppose, but I thank God for Facebook.

Joe Chip

Posted: February 06, 2009 11:41 AM

Like many, Mark Galli misses the point of Facebook entirely. Facebook, like all technology, is a tool to an end. Facebook does not pretend to, and indeed SHOULD NOT supplant real, actual flesh and blood relationships. What it does do is make it supremely easy to engage in the small talk, banter, and invitations to "real" events. And the fact that Galli's fumbling attempts to engage his "friends" end up in "utter disaster" says more about his personality than the technology he's using. If people don't want to talk to you, all the technology in the world isn't going to help your cause.

Tammy

Posted: February 06, 2009 11:00 AM


Great article-summarized my thoughts as to why I disengaged from FB

M. Bigelow

Posted: February 06, 2009 10:36 AM


Thank you for writing this article......there has always been something nagging me about Facebook. I, too enjoy it, but can get distracted for more time than I want getting involved in the triviality of other peoples' day to day living. You have said it so well that I am printing a copy to share with others who may not understand my lack of totally, "cool" view.

Myrrh

Posted: February 05, 2009 8:09 PM

I keep coming back to these kinds of thoughts. As an introvert and communicator/writer, Facebook is yet another outlet for my gifting/temperament, and it has led to some spiritually and relationally enriching experiences, but I can't help but keep wondering if I'm selling myself short...and yet the yearning to stay connected in some way (even if just intellectually), is strong...I wonder what this author's reflections are on blogging.

Gary Sweeten

Posted: February 05, 2009 7:53 PM


I agree that most connections are shalow. However, FB is a tool like the USPostal Office and the telephone because we can use all of them to make deeper relationships. I have posted my ministry there and set up face to face meetings.

Martha

Posted: February 05, 2009 6:54 PM

I'm relatively new on Facebook, but have been struck by how many opportunities for witness and sharing Bible passages and prayers I've had. In the three weeks I've been on, I would say I've been involved in at least 6 or 7 deep discussions (friends who miscarried, friend who has been left homeless, student wanting to know about Christianity, another friend wanting to know more about prayer, shut in I can visit and encourage daily, minister friends discussing church events and church needs and praying for each other, another friend who is dying and giving a wonderful witness to all her Facebook friends who respond with their prayers and heartfelt love etc.) It is we, the users, not Facebook, who are responsible for the level of triviality or depth in the content of what we write and we respond and what we post. Facebook just increases our opportunities for witness, fellowship, neighborliness, prayer, getting and staying in contact...and fun. Just don't do it instead of real life!

Peter Dymond

Posted: February 05, 2009 6:51 PM

Very true, however as a tool for increasing connectivity, it's very useful. I know of 2 pastors who post regularly and FB allows access for their members to an extension of church. Very good for short video clips and more informal gatherings. I recently posted a Group for a friend who had passed away. It made for a great gathering spot for people to post thoughts, prayers, photo's as well as support for the family. It also served as a noticeboard for the memorial arrangements. It's like anything else, by itself its not the ultimate relational solution, but in enhancing existing relationships it works well. As for the whole 'old flame' remark, that's an issue of the heart. Perhaps FB makes it easier, but guns don't kill people, people kill people, with guns, knives, whatever. FB is just a tool. P.S. I am ex-pat Brit living in Florida and I found and reconnected with a lot of old friends from England.

fikalo

Posted: February 05, 2009 6:09 PM

Not wanting to advocate the disconnectedness that many people experience, but for me Facebook has been an additional method of interacting with people from my Church, and a way of organising meetings, social events and more. The only friends I've added are people I know personally, so instead of pretending to have friends, it simply adds an extra dimension to pre-existing relationships. It's also allowed me to stay in contact with family members who are widely dispersed in a more day-t-day basis, whereas in the past we may have only emailed each other once in a blue moon. It's great sharing photos of the family with relatives in other parts of our country (Australia). It's not all bad news!

Darcyjo

Posted: February 05, 2009 6:05 PM

As I type this, I'm on Facebook, playing Scrabble with a housebound couple up in Boston that are online friends of mine. With a couple of minor exceptions, I am using it to keep up with people I know from church and some of my long-term (some as many as six years along) friendships from a Christian online forum. When one started having medical problems she wasn't talking about at church, I was able to ask her if she wanted me to pray for her. Like other tools, it's all in how you use it.

Ed	Posted: February 05, 2009 5:01 PM

However, I have had at least two fairly complicated and powerful spiritual discussions in facebook chat with friends that I never would have had otherwise. I think chatting seemed okay to them, when other forms of communication would have been tougher (they live FAR away, so person-to-person was out). I think I might have softened their disdain for Christians by being conversational and open and responding to their initial, "Hey, Ed, are you there?" Yeah, I spend too much time on facebook, but if I moved those people one step closer to the Father, it's worth it. It's like anything else, it can be a tool or a boat anchor. All things in moderation, right?

Martin

Posted: February 05, 2009 4:47 PM


I liked this article so much that I forwarded it on to both of my children. Seems the younger generation considers anybody who bothers to text or who befriends them on facebook is suddenly some one who they can depend on since they are "friends". After reading the article, I hope to learn that my children see the difference in a real friend and an electronic friend.

April

Posted: February 05, 2009 4:09 PM


I have found great value from Linkedin. It is a great tool to develop my professional brand. I do not look to it to cultivate the relationship but rather to track my colleagues. It is simply a communication tool. Blessings!

Matt	Posted: February 05, 2009 3:59 PM


You completely left out someing else that facebook sabotages - marriages. How many affairs have begun when a husband or wife reconnects with an old flame? I hear about it all too often.

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