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Leslie Mann plays the inebriated Nicky, who terrifies Andy on the ride home

At two full hours, The 40-Year-Old Virgin is unusually long for a comedy, and many scenes could have been trimmed or cut altogether. A scene in which Andy has his chest waxed, prompting him to swear profusely, runs longer than it needs to, as though the filmmakers felt it would be disrespectful to let even one second of Carell's pain end up on the cutting room floor. Elsewhere, a confrontation between Jay and one of his customers comes out of nowhere, seems to be building up to something, and is then suddenly over. Judd Apatow, directing his first feature after years writing and producing shows like Freaks and Geeks, treats the film less like a movie and more like a long, uneven string of sketches—not unlike Anchorman, which he also produced, and which featured many of the same actors.

We are about an hour into the film before its central relationship—between Andy and Trish (Catherine Keener), a woman with three children who runs a business selling things on eBay—finally comes together. Andy and Trish almost have sex on their first date, but they are interrupted by one of her daughters, a teenager who (rightly) protests that it is hypocritical of her mother to take boyfriends home while forbidding her offspring to have sex. After this experience, Trish suggests taking it slow, and Andy agrees that they should get to know each other first; and so they agree to wait, oh, maybe 10 dates—no, maybe 15—oh heck, why not 20—before they have sex. Andy's friends worry that this is a sign of weakness, and Trish herself begins to wonder why Andy is so eager to put off sleeping with her.

Catherine Keener plays Trish, a single mom for whom Andy eventually falls

But there are moments when the film almost strikes a blow for virgin pride, such as a scene in which Andy accompanies Trish's daughter to a family-planning clinic. And the film concludes on a very interesting note, indeed. (Spoiler alert: jump to the next paragraph if you don't want to know how the film ends.) Of course, we expect Andy to "lose it" by the end of the movie; but the striking thing is that he and Trish actually get married first—and the scene brought back happy, and funny, memories of my own wedding night. Instead of mocking my own personal choice to wait until marriage, as it were, it felt like the film was affirming it.

There is an awful lot of foul language and raunchy humor in this film, and it needs tighter editing, so I can't say I recommend it. But is intriguing to see how, even in its most off-color moments, Hollywood turns to traditional virtues for its happy endings.

Talk About It

1. The only time anyone mentions religion in this film is when Trish's daughter says she wants birth control, and Trish, in reply, threatens to send her daughter to church. What do you make of that? Would that make any difference? Statistics say churchgoers aren't much different from the rest of the world in terms of their sexual practices; what do we make of that? What about the minister at the end of the film—what sort of attitude do you think he's expressing?
   
   
2. Do you wish someone had asked Andy if his virginity was due to religious reasons? Do you think people have to be "religious" to choose to wait for marriage? Are there other reasons for waiting until marriage? How many of these reasons does the film provide? (For example, in one scene, Cal says it's great that Andy doesn't have STDs.)
   
   
3. Are there any bad reasons to abstain from sex? Consider the scene in which David says celibacy is the way to go, because that way no woman can suck the life out of a man. What do you think of that advice? Should spouses ever turn each other down (see 1 Corinthians 7:1-7)? Given the standards of the world, is Trish right to complain when Andy won't have sex with her? Would it depend on his reasons?
   
   
4. Do you think Andy's friends offer reliable object lessons in the problems people face when they become sexually active outside of marriage? Or do married people face the same problems?
   
   

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