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The Dukes of Hazzard Our rating: Your rating: 1 2 3 4 Your Comments: see all MPAA rating: PG-13 (for sexual content, crude and drug-related humor, language and comic action violence) Genre: Action, Comedy Theater release: August 05, 2005 by Warner Brothers Directed by: Jay Chandrasekhar Runtime: 1 hour 46 minutes Cast: Johnny Knoxville (Luke Duke); Seann William Scott (Bo Duke); Jessica Simpson (Daisy Duke); Willie Nelson (Uncle Jessie); Lynda Carter (Pauline); M.C. Gainey (Rosco P. Coltrane); Burt Reynolds (Boss Hogg) Related: Talk About It/Family Corner

In what could have been a fun and family-friendly remake of the popular television show, director Jay Chandrasekhar (of the Broken Lizard comedy group) chose instead to deliver an offensive cross between American Pie and Jackass: The Movie. Essentially, The Dukes of Hazzard is a sexed-up and profane distortion of the American cult classic. You'd do well to get in your own General Lee and drive far away from this Hazzard (sorry—such puns are obligatory in reviews like this).

Johnny Knoxville is Luke Duke and Seann William Scott is Bo Duke

Bo Duke (Seann William Scott) and Luke Duke (Johnny Knoxville) are just a couple of laid-back cousins from Hazzard County, somewhere near Atlanta, Georgia. Bo worships General Lee, his 1969 Dodge Charger R/T. Luke worships … sex. That's obvious from the first scene in which a half-dressed Luke is chased by his lover's shotgun-wielding brother. Thinking that the filmmakers had clearly established Luke's womanizing tendencies, I hoped that the film would then focus less on sex and more on the actual story. But, silly me, it quickly became evident that the severe lack of story prevented the filmmakers from doing anything but. So, I proceeded to endure 106 minutes of shoddy car chase footage interspersed with Luke's various and sundry attempts to woo women.

Jessica Simpson plays the role of Daisy Duke

The rest of the film's plot follows that of the original TV series. Boss Hogg makes evil plans. Duke boys foil plans. Boss Hogg gets mad. Duke boys save the day. In this particular "episode," Boss Hogg wants to strip-mine Hazzard County and plans to distract the potential objectors (a.k.a. townspeople) by bringing a well-known NASCAR driver into town to compete in the much-heralded car rally. It takes them a while, but Bo and Luke, with the help of Harvard-material-under-this-ditzy-exterior Daisy Duke (played by singer-turned-actress Jessica Simpson) and moonshine-making Uncle Jessie (still-a-singer Willie Nelson), finally get wind of Boss Hogg's plans and prepare to save their beloved town.

Dukes contains several red flags—more than I could possibly mention in this review, so here's an annotated list of the "Top Five Reasons Why This Movie Stinks."

1. It's never a good sign when a movie's soundtrack is its best feature. Still, the soundtrack does its job and distracts viewers from the lamer scenes in the movie. After all, doesn't Bo Duke look so cool driving the General Lee while rocking out to Molly Hatchet and The Charlie Daniels Band? You can be sure that there'll be a run on this soundtrack, especially since interest piqued earlier this summer with Jessica Simpson's remake of "These Boots Were Made for Walkin.'"

Burt Reynolds, the man in white, is Boss Hogg

2. For a movie that's all about cars, or rather one car (the General Lee), the chase scenes and stunt scenes just aren't that good. Yeah, the film included the famous airborne shot, but aside from that 5-second sequence, the other car scenes can't hold a candle to some famous chases in cinema history: Duel, The Blues Brothers, and The Bourne Supremacy to name a few.

3. Toward the middle of the movie, Bo and Luke steal some core samples from Boss Hogg and decide that the best way to determine what the samples consist of is to head to a science lab at a Georgia university. The entire sequence is an ode to college life and serves only to show a sorority in which all of the sisters are half-naked and most are smoking pot. Aside from being completely offensive, the scenes insult the intelligence of the viewers, as though we won't catch on that the side jaunt to the college is completely unnecessary to the small shred of plot imbedded in the movie. The filmmakers do themselves a great disservice by wasting twenty minutes of movie time that could have otherwise been used to develop characters, explore themes, or pay better homage to the original TV series.

4. Daisy Duke uses her body to get both herself and her cousins out of trouble. She also uses her body to get information from Enos, the local deputy. I don't know what's more frustrating: the fact that she uses her sexual prowess to manipulate men or the fact that she doesn't use her intellectual prowess, which would get her the same results. The message is clear. Girls, if you want something, just throw on a bikini and march into your local police station. The deputies will tell you anything you want to know.

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