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The Pacifier Our rating: Your rating: 1 2 3 4 Your Comments: see all MPAA rating: PG (for action violence, language, and rude humor) Theater release: March 04, 2005 by Walt Disney Pictures/Spyglass Entertainment Directed by: Adam Shankman Runtime: 1 hour 31 minutes Cast: Vin Diesel (Shane Wolfe), Lauren Graham (Claire Fletcher), Brad Garrett (Vice Principal Murney), Faith Ford (Julie Plummer), Brittany Snow (Zoe Plummer), Carol Kane (Helga), Scott Thompson (Director) Related: Talk About It/Family Corner

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At first, The Pacifier looks like mindless entertainment. And, well, that's mostly what it is throughout.

Directed by Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House and A Walk to Remember) and written by Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant, the film begins in all the wrong ways: silly dialogue ("I know we've been up for 72 hours, but I expect perfection!"), clichés and predictability (it's a film with babies, so the diaper humor just keeps on comin'), and complete abandonment of the "Show us, don't tell us" policy ("We are [Navy] Seals: this is what we do!"). During the first third of the movie, I couldn't rein in my sass: "The Pacifier?" I thought, "Someone ought to pacify this movie!" Or maybe: "Vin, what were you thinking when you signed up for this movie?"

Vin Diesel's having a ball in 'The Pacifier'

But about 30 minutes into the film, one of two things happened. Either the 12-year-old kid inside me wrestled and defeated my movie critic within, or the movie actually picked up and got pretty funny the rest of the way.

Vin Diesel (Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick) plays Shane Wolfe, a Navy Seal assigned to care for the family of a government scientist, Howard Plummer (Tate Donovan), who was killed by rebel Serbians because of a high-tech security device, GHOST, that he created for U.S. defense. Since the device is believed to be at the late scientist's residence, Wolfe reports for duty at the Plummer house and meets Mrs. Plummer (Faith Ford); the housekeeper, Helga (Carol Kane); and the five Plummer children, headed up by Zoe (Brittany Snow).

Shane Wolfe (Diesel) has his hands full with all the kids

Mrs. Plummer departs for a two-week trip in order to take care of business regarding her late husband and Helga quits soon after, leaving Shane alone to baby-sit the Plummer children for the remainder of the two weeks—or the remainder of the movie, whichever comes first. As predicted, the melee begins with rebellious children, diaper and poop jokes, and a slacker-kids-meet-drill-sergeant plotline. And, this is where the story works if you're interested in a family-oriented kids' movie about a tough guy forfeiting his machismo to learn the art of nurturing. This is where the story fails if you're at all expecting the GHOST plot to develop in conjunction with the other plot points.

See, it's almost as if the writers got carried away with brainstorming all the funny things they could do with Vin Diesel's character. At one point, 10-year-old Lulu Plummer (Morgan York) asks Shane why his "boobs" are so big. To which Shane replies, "They're not boobs." But, because the script spends so much time on the irony of Vin Diesel as baby-sitter, the audience might forget that the Plummer family is in grave danger due to government-related safety concerns. After all, it seems that many countries, including North Korea, want GHOST—and are willing to do just about anything for it. But aside from a few karate scenes, the writers forsake that plotline in order to have a duck bite Shane's ear.

Among the movie's highlights are Brad Garrett (Everyone Loves Raymond) as Vice Principal Murney and Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) as Principal Claire Fletcher. Murney is a hotheaded bully ("When you mess with the bull, you get the horns!") and coach of the wrestling squad. (A word of advice: brace yourself for the horrid vision of Brad Garrett in a wrestling singlet. You'll be thinking, Please make it stop! I know I was.) Graham's turn as Principal Fletcher gives the film some credibility—she really cares about the safety of the Plummer kids—and some fresh air—the playground scenes between Graham and Diesel provide a nice alternative to the sometimes stifling scenes in the Plummer household.

Overall, The Pacifier is a fun family film in which parents can applaud such redeeming elements as learning to trust, giving others a chance, and bringing out the good qualities in those people around us.

Talk About It

1. Vice Principal Murney bullies Seth Plummer because Seth doesn't want to wrestle. If you were Seth, how would you have handled Mr. Murney's teasing? Do you think Seth ultimately did the right thing?
   
   

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