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Samantha (Laura Jordan) comforts Kevin, her childhood friend

Meanwhile Samantha, also armed with a gun, figures out she can shoot the lock herself. She does and, get this—the two leap away from the explosion at the last second (for like the third time in the film).

For a thriller like Thr3e to work, the riddles need to make sense to create scenes of suspense that the characters (and audiences) can legitimately work out. But the riddles in this movie are almost tangential, with characters making guesses to stumble on the solution. Gosh, if I've learned anything from movies with bombs, it's not to push buttons or cut wires haphazardly.

The script's pacing and development is much more problematic. In attempt to be mysterious, characters are introduced as poorly as I've ever seen. Samantha comes virtually out of nowhere to Kevin's apartment, despite not seeing him for years. In talking to him, she alludes to dealing with criminals and cops in her line of work. Later we learn she's an insurance investigator, though later still we find she carries a gun. Who is this girl, and do all State Farm employees pack heat?

Far more (unintentionally) laughable is Kevin's background. Fifteen minutes into the film, we meet the family that he left behind years ago. Problem is, we've no idea who they are—Kevin simply arrives at a house where three crazy people reside and they start berating him. We can only assume they're family by the way he interacts, and it's not until later that we learn they're his Aunt Belinda, Uncle Eugene, and Cousin Bob. And they're as loony as an insane asylum, like a non-violent version of the family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No wonder he left.

Priscilla Barnes as Kevin's over-the-top Aunt Belinda

As far as acting goes, Blucas comes off okay as Kevin, but is that because he's the most high profile actor of the cast, or because everyone else is so bad? Most of the characterizations are merely flat and uninteresting, though Priscilla Barnes (from TV's Three's Company years ago) is unbelievably awful with an over-the-top portrayal of Aunt Belinda—a ridiculous cross between Cruella De Vil from 101 Dalmatians and Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous. We have a winner for the Razzies.

But worst is the handling of the story's surprise-twist ending, which I dare not give away here, but it's one that's been used far more effectively in other films over the last ten years. It also probably plays better on the printed page in this case, because visuals are far more powerful in providing the audience with facts and details that we assume to be true, only to have them contradicted later. Thr3e simply does not play fair when it comes to the mystery, and though it tries to explain some of the film's previous scenes, it cannot possibly explain them all.

I also wonder if Christian moviegoers will be disappointed to find that the movie isn't all that spiritual. Is it a "Christian movie" because the main character is a sem student, because characters use Romans 6:23 to solve a riddle, or because one character uses a sentence in a tacked-on conversation at the end to note how we all need God in our lives to reconcile the good and evil within us? Those are the extent of the overtly Christian qualities in Thr3e. You might be able to interpret more if you choose to, but then you may as well check out mainstream films like Children of Men, Pan's Labyrinth, Rocky Balboa, and Little Children for their subtle spiritual messages. Frankly, I saw this as a cleaner than average action thriller, nothing more.

It used to be that Christian films couldn't compete because of quality, but nowadays we're finding that they share more in common with the average Hollywood film—style over substance. Thr3e looks like it should work on paper, as fans of the book will attest. But a shaky narrative, clumsy storytelling, and unintentionally campy acting make this a frustrating movie-going experience that's only worth half the stars of its title.

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