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Instead, director Brad Silberling and his writers are perfectly content with letting Ferrell and McBride riff off each other in response to everything with quips that are too stupid one minute and too clever the next—further evidence of the film's struggle to find a tone. The plot itself is like a series of exploits that all involve Rick making a bad decision, then paying for his mistake. Will asks him, "Do you ever get tired of being wrong?" Rick responds, "I do, I really do!" You will be too—tired, that is—before the movie is over.

Danny McBride as Will

Case in point: Rick tells his friends that they need to mask their human scent from the dinosaurs, so he produces a bag of dinosaur urine from his backpack. This sparks an awkward discussion of how he procured said urine the night before while everyone else was sleeping. It goes on for a couple minutes, stalling the inevitable. Rick finally proceeds to pour said bag of urine over himself, and then complains about the smell and acidity. He then goes further by drinking the urine. After that, he deduces he should pour more on himself … and so on. Are you laughing yet?

Scenes like this prevent us from ever believing Rick can ever figure out how to get them home, much less get them there in the first place. Furthermore, the gags are stretched out too often, trying hard to elicit laughs from lazy writing and gross-out jokes. There's a funny scene involving a very hungry mosquito that goes on for at least a minute too long. You'll quickly grow weary of Rick constantly reminding Chaka, "I am your master!"—a line played for laughs numerous times. Or how about the recurring gag involving the time machine's tendency to play tunes from A Chorus Line? It's never funny to begin with, and becomes less so after the fourth or fifth instance when Ferrell finally delivers a choreographed dance scene.

Sleestaks aplenty

And don't get me started about the lengthy bit involving Rick, Will, and Chaka getting high on some narcotic fruit juice. The nonsense starts with the threesome frolicking in a pool and degrades into stoner dialogue involving sexual dares. It also includes one of the most sacrilegious comments I've ever heard in a movie: "Dude, the love I feel for you right now is a million times more than the love Jesus felt for all mankind on the cross."

The sad punchline to all of this is that Sid and Marty Krofft—the original show's producers and the same guys responsible for other classic children's shows like H.R. Pufnstuf—are also responsible for producing this remake. They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to peddle this lazy and mostly unfunny piece of garbage as family entertainment. I'm all for a good slapstick comedy/parody/remake, with emphasis on the word "good." But some things are best left lost and forgotten, if not completely ignored altogether.

Talk About It

1. Rick's theories about time travel and alternate universes are widely ridiculed, but he's ultimately proven right. Is Rick unwavering in his beliefs? Who or what restores his faith in his scientific breakthrough? How do Rick's ups and downs resemble a Christian's faith and spiritual walk?
   
   
2. What about Holly? Is her faith in Rick's skills unfounded or is she ultimately proven right? Is her support completely based on romance, or is there something more to her support? How does her trust in Rick resemble a Christian's faith?
   
   
3. Do you consider Rick Marshall a brilliant scientist? Why or why not?
   
   

The Family Corner

Land of the Lost is rated PG-13 for language, drug references, and crude sexual content. The pervasive profanity includes misuse of God's name and the f-bomb, with dialogue that frequently relies on sexual references both explicit and implied (including masturbation and a suggested "three-way"). There's also a ceramic mug graphically depicting a woman's bare breasts, a scene involving intercourse between two Sleestak (lizard people) occurring off-screen, and several instances when Holly is groped by other characters. The movie includes plenty of gags focused on excrement and three of the heroes engage in crude and foolish behavior after ingesting a narcotic. Additionally, there's some (mostly bloodless) violence involved, including a man dismembered off-screen (his severed arm is shown) and a dinosaur that explodes into meaty chunks. Last but not least, there's a terribly sacrilegious line that should offend any Christians that take their faith seriously. Suffice it to say, the film is grossly inappropriate for children and anyone in search of good family entertainment.

Photos © Universal Pictures

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