"Transformers-meets-Pearl Harbor." That's how I imagine the pitch went to make a film version of Battleship—based on the classic Milton Bradley board game—and it's also pretty accurate as a description of what this film turns out to be. Imagine Transformers' whiz-bang machinery-of-death loudness set against the "aw shucks" nostalgia and patriotism of Pearl Harbor (sans the insufferable love triangle), starring the cast of Friday Night Lights. That's pretty much Battleship. And you know what, as dumb as it is, it's actually pretty fun to watch.

What, after all, does one expect out of a summer blockbuster whose source material is a children's board game, "recommended for ages 7 and up"? Certainly one wouldn't expect it to be anything that a seven-year-old couldn't understand (nuance) or would find boring (too much talking or character development). No, what we would expect is this: lots of explosions. LOUD explosions. The kind that rattle your ribcage. And also guns, missiles, torpedoes, cyborg aliens, spaceships, hand-to-hand combat, freakishly violent alien shredders, falling skyscrapers in a major world city (Hong Kong), lots of American flags, Hawaiian sunsets, and a pop-star in a supporting actor role (Rihanna).

Taylor Kitsch as Alex

Taylor Kitsch as Alex

Battleship has everything it needs to have (namely: a huge special effects budget), and it wisely avoids trying to be much of anything else. The story is refreshingly uncomplicated (why do so many high-octane testosterone blockbusters ruin themselves with complicated plots?), following the standard "aliens-attack, humans fight back and save the earth" trajectory. In this case, the humans who save the day are sailors of the U.S. Navy, led by lieutenant Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch, aka "Tim Riggins" of Friday Night Lights) and assisted by supporting seamen like Jesse Plemons ("Landry" of FNL), Rihanna, and a Japanese naval officer (Tadanobu Asano) who hammers home the point that things have changed since 1941. Together they manage to figure out how to defeat the enemy fleet, by (among other things) tracking the positioning of their ships and trying to sink them with more hits than misses (ya know, like in the board game).

Rihanna as Raikes

Rihanna as Raikes

The film is produced and directed by Peter Berg (The Kingdom); hence the FNL casting (Berg directed the film version of Lights and created the subsequent television series). With Riggins in full-on Riggins mode (talented leader at heart, impaired by a bad temper and beer obsession) and Landry in full-on Landry mode (slightly nerdy but an endearing source of one liners), the film sometimes feels like Friday Night Lights: In the Navy Now. Surely Berg could have given Matt Saracen a part as a shy but valiant back-up hero, or included Buddy Garrity as a slick-talking, salty seadog with a heart of gold. And I bet Smash Williams could do a lot of damage behind the turret of a destroyer.

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But the film is not really about the casting. When Rihanna's a star, you know that's the case. Still, Liam Neeson gives a laudable performance as the scrappy, manly-yet-dignified Admiral Shane—the father (in law) figure to Alex, who is dating his daughter Sam (Brooklyn Decker). Alexander Skarsgard's talent is largely wasted as Alex's older brother, though he does fill an important role.

Uh oh

Uh oh

Kitsch—fresh off his unfortunate turn in the mega-flop John Carter—fits the leading man role convincingly in Battleship, delivering his awful lines with a confident directness, even while getting pummeled, burned, beaten, shot, and stabbed from every direction. His "from screw-up to hero" arc may be stale, but he somehow manages to make us care. His character's bravery, valor, and eventual humility are as complicated as they need to be for the young target demographic (that is, not complicated at all), and that's OK. The important thing is that he grows, and learns a thing or two: how to save the world from aliens, how to be a good leader, and how to get the girl (get her a burrito if she's hungry).

An alien invader attacks

An alien invader attacks

Battleship kicks it up a notch in its third act—worth the price of admission—when the young, strapping heroes team up with octogenarian Navy vets to defeat the alien battleships together. Older audiences and history buffs will enjoy seeing the U.S.S. Missouri, long a tourist attraction in Pearl Harbor, back in action as an analog warship fighting a futuristic war. A soundtrack full of guitar shredding both old (AC/DC, Creedence Clearwater Revival) and new (Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine) helps build the ambience of multi-generational Americana and "loud and proud!" patriotism. No matter that most of the cast members aren't even American (Kitsch is Canadian; Neeson is Irish; Rihanna is Barbadian). Battleship is the most American, pro-military, based-on-a-toy blockbuster since G.I. Joe (2009). It's got the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, sailors saving the world, and a young man who trades his long hair and slacker ways for a crew cut and a silver star.

In other words: It'll play well for Memorial Day weekend. And, you know, sell lots of toys.

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Talk About It

Discussion starters
  1. What makes Alex earn the respect of Admiral Shane?
  2. How does Alex's relationship with his brother help him make a change in his life?
  3. What is the significance of the bond between Alex and the Japanese Captain Nagata?
  4. One of the characters has no legs, but becomes a hero over the course of the film. What does this demonstrate about endurance and finding one's purpose?

The Family Corner

For parents to consider

Battleship is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language. The violence is tame by today's standards. There are lots of explosions and gunfire, and basically carnage of all sorts, but very little blood. No deaths are actually seen close-up, though thousands of people die over the course of the film (skyscrapers being toppled, ships being sunk, highways collapsing, etc.). There is also a fair amount of language—a few s-words being the worst of it—and some alcohol usage (beer drinking). There is no nudity or sex.

Our Rating
2½ Stars - Fair
Average Rating
 
(6 user ratings)ADD YOURSHelp
Mpaa Rating
PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language)
Directed By
Peter Berg
Run Time
2 hours 11 minutes
Cast
Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson
Theatre Release
May 18, 2012 by Universal Pictures
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