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Joyful Noise Our rating: Your rating: 1 2 3 4 Your Comments: see all MPAA rating: PG-13 (for some language including a sexual reference) Genre: Comedy, Religious, Romance Theater release: January 13, 2012 by Warner Bros. Directed by: Todd Graff Runtime: 1 hour 57 minutes Cast: Queen Latifah (Vi Rose Hill), Dolly Parton (G. G. Sparrow), Keke Palmer (Olivia), Jeremy Jordan (Randy), Dexter Darden (Walter) Related: Talk About It/Family Corner

I might be a liturgical Anglican at heart, but I am a sucker for a gospel choir. The full-throated harmonies, the hand-clapping, the robes. We will not talk about the years during which I could frequently be found singing and dancing along to the Sister Act soundtracks in my room, because that would be embarrassing. But trust me when I say that I was eagerly anticipating Joyful Noise, featuring Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton as Vi Rose Hill and G. G. Sparrow, respectively, both vying for control of a small-town church choir as it competes for national recognition.

Unfortunately, Joyful Noise does gospel choirs no favors with its superficial depiction of the faith that is ostensibly the wellspring of this passionate music. But as a former AWANA Olympian, I know that we Christians can make a contest out of just about anything. At their best, these gospel competitions are celebrations of excellence—and sometimes you just have to roll with it. But I still cringed when in a climactic scene Vi Rose vigorously exhorts a drowsy crowd that God is worthy to be praised in an effort to get them clapping and improve the choir's chances of winning. That's just awkward. Can I get an amen?

Queen Latifah as Vi Rose

But the singing competition is actually just a backdrop to the real competition between G. G. and Vi Rose. When G. G.'s choirmaster husband Bernard (Kris Kristofferson) dies suddenly during the annual Joyful Noise showcase, the church board promotes his second in command, Vi Rose, much to the chagrin of the widow. As a wealthy patron of the church, G. G. isn't afraid to throw her weight around a little bit, but stops short of blackmail. Mostly. The bottom line is that conservative Vi Rose and flashy G. G. just don't like each other on principle. And so neither is happy when G. G.'s bad boy grandson Randy (Jeremy Jordan) comes to town and takes an immediate shine to Vi Rose's 16-year-old daughter Olivia (KeKe Palmer). Olivia is a goody-two-shoes and she'll stay that way if Vi Rose has anything to say about it. And she does have things to say about it, of course.

Dolly Parton as G. G.

But Randy manages to ingratiate himself to Vi Rose by offering to teach her son Walter (Dexter Darden, looking mostly like a young Stevie Wonder), who has Asperger syndrome, how to play piano. Darden is unconvincing in the role, never so much as when offering lines like, "I just wish I could be normal." And Joyful Noise is about as subtle and nuanced as Dolly Parton's now much-altered face. Thankfully, she has a sense of humor about it. "God didn't make plastic surgeons so they could starve," she jibes.

Randy also works his way into the church choir, where Olivia is a featured performer and tension exists between Vi Rose's old-fashioned instincts about proper gospel music and the group's desire to mix it up with more contemporary sounds in a bid to actually win a contest. You know where this is going. Back to the Joyful Noise competition showcase with a new sound and a new attitude.

Keke Palmer as Olivia

But on the way there, Joyful Noise the movie meanders through a broken marriage, racial and economic tensions in small-town Georgia, and sexual frustration (including a post-coital death that's played for laughs). Some of it is confusing (why did he leave, again?), most of it is unconvincing (the economically depressed town of Pacashau, Georgia had all of its hopes riding on the success of the Pacashau Sacred Divinity Choir, really?). And through it all, Vi Rose and G. G. trade barbs that eventually explode into a brawl at a local restaurant where Vi Rose is holding down a second job in addition to her work as a nurse.

Meanwhile Olivia becomes increasingly petulant under the influence of Randy. "Do you want to be a church girl for the rest of your life? There's so much more to you than that," he says as he leads her onto the dance floor for a little bumping and grinding. Parents everywhere shudder in unison. But keep the faith. Fully one star of my rating is due to the verbal spanking Vi Rose gives her sulky child when Olivia accuses Vi Rose of hating her because she's beautiful and Vi Rose is not. Oh, no she didn't! Vi Rose goes off on a tirade about respecting yourself and others, and I wanted to stand up and applaud.

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