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And retailers, who have been very supportive of my first disc, do their best to provide a wide variety of music for a wide variety of people. But more and more people, one bookstore manager told me, "prefer self-help and light fiction over commentaries and study aids," so it's no surprise they also want "lighter, entertaining music from familiar faces" — not necessarily something innovative or heady. He must avoid provocation and controversy and steer clear of anything "too new." After all, like the rest of us, he has bills to pay.

It's true that ignorance is bliss. It was effortless to choose 10 songs two years ago when I didn't know the large parts these gatekeepers would play in my commercial success — or the difficulties that sometimes force them to throw much of their support behind a narrow scope of music and ministry. It was easy not knowing.

In 2001, I simply gave Don and Monroe Jones (my producer) a CD with about 20 songs on it. I only included songs I wouldn't mind playing for two years — songs I was sure about theologically, lyrically, and musically. We all went our separate ways, listened, and made a list of our 10 favorite songs, using any criteria we wanted. We met again a week later and compared lists. Any song on all three lists made the record. Any song that wasn't was discussed until we all agreed. In a short time — less than an hour — we emerged from Don's office with 10 songs, ready to make a CD. Simple.

But today I sat in Don's office with Monroe, a list of my 10 favorite songs, my two managers' lists, and a head full of doubts and worries. I couldn't get the gatekeepers out of my head. After a few hours of discussion and relistening to demos, we ended our meeting in agreement about eight songs. We'll decide about the last two some other time, content to move ahead and record those we are certain about today.

The eight are an interesting mixture of lyrical and musical styles as well as theological themes I haven't explored before. It's part stern prophecy and part lighthearted pop/rock — torn between introspection and observation. It's not revolutionary, but it's not classic or conventional either.

There's no changing the list now, but I'm still rethinking it anyway. Again, it's the gatekeepers that haunt me. What will radio do with songs that aren't "worship"? What if these songs don't scratch where they believe people itch? And what about the songs that aren't safe? Will retailers support a record or back an artist that portrays Jesus as an everyday man? Will they get it? Will they like it?

Only time will tell. Until then I guess it doesn't hurt to ask as long as I don't answer my own questions with cowardice or retreat to the ease of conformity.

Know this: I don't claim to have reinvented anything. I can't promise that under the tarp is a sleek new machine the world's never seen — the product of innovation and genius. But I do think that my list — our list — is fearless and obedient to God. It's honest about who I am and who he is. I'm not pretending or pandering. I'm deciding to think the best of the gatekeepers. I'm betting they want to offer the masses a choice that's a little different as much as I do.

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