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It's been five years since Carolyn Arends last made a "regular" album, 1999's This Much I Understand, her final studio project with Reunion Records. Not that she's disappeared. There was a greatest hits CD (2000's Seize the Day and Other Stories), an all-acoustic album (2001's Travelers), and a parenthood project (2002's We've Been Waiting for You). And then there's parenting itself, an adventure that often causes Carolyn and husband Mark to consider the cost—to children Ben, 6, and Bethany, 3—of carrying on with her music career. Fortunately for fans, the award-winning singer/songwriter keeps making more music—including her latest independent project, the marvelous Under the Gaze. We caught up with Arends recently, and our conversation covered everything from the new album to balancing family and music, from her friendship with Rich Mullins to her fascination with Narnia—particularly one certain lion who is definitely not tame, but undeniably good.

Carolyn Arends

What do you like most about being an independent artist?

Arends I went indie because I was hoping to find a more family-friendly way to do this. Now I can set my own timetable without a whole company depending on the choices I make. That freedom is really nice.

Some artists quit music when starting a family. Did you think about it?

Arends Actually, at least every Tuesday I think that! It's a constant evaluation. I love the music. But my kids are a greater passion, far more precious than the music. Trying to do both is an enormous challenge. Mark and I sit down every few months for kind of a state of the union address: Is this working? Do we need to tweak it? Are the kids paying too much of a price for it? I know they do pay a price, but there are also a lot of benefits. There's all this analysis and prayer and biting of nails. But we seem to have found a rhythm that works.

What does making music do for you, and for your listeners?

Arends People have asked, "When were you called into music ministry?" I always say that I do it less because of a sense of calling and more because I can't help myself. It just seems to be hardwired into my DNA. This is how I process things, how I explore the world and especially my relationship with God.

And it does seem to be of some use in the kingdom. It's so cool to tell my own story and watch the way it intersects with other people's stories. It blows me away that something I write in my living room can become part of someone else's life. I've heard of people who play my music when their babies are born—talk about being invited onto some holy ground. Or people who say, "We used this song at my dad's funeral because of how it symbolized his life," or "We used this at our graduation." It just blows me away.

Let's talk about Under the Gaze. You do all of your own production now, right?

Arends Yes. Under the Gaze is my seventh project, so hopefully I've started to figure out how to do this. I started out working with Brown Bannister, and if you're going to go to producer school, that's a good place to start. But I've learned over the years that somewhere inside is this little voice that knows if the musical choices you're making are right. When you're hunting for something, this little barometer inside will tell you when you get there. Sometimes you need another producer to help with that, or sometimes the straightest line is to just chase it yourself.

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