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How have you changed from learning these things?

Sandi Patty The biggest way is that I don't try to be fake. I try to be real, to be who I am with all the good and bad and ups and downs of life.

How has learning these lessons affected your music ministry?

Sandi Patty I used to worry at concerts if my shoes were too wild or my shirt wasn't right. Now, I don't worry about little things. I now think about whether I treated the stagehand the way Christ would have treated him, if the bus driver is feeling as valuable as anyone else on this tour. When somebody asks me to come do a concert now, I know they are saying they want me to come, bring my battle scars with me and share God's goodness and faithfulness. That means the world to me.

Your battle scars contain a story of repentance, forgiveness and restoration. What has that been like?

Sandi Patty My church was very important in my restoration process. I surrounded myself with people who were part of an accountability system. With love and support, they helped me own my mistakes and failures. They challenged me to move forward and make good choices. God's word says the truth will set us free. Sometimes, that truth is hard to bear, especially when it's truth about ourselves. The first step to freedom is saying, "Look, I messed up. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to ignore it. Here's how I messed up."

What was involved in sharing that truth with other Christians?

Sandi Patty I had shared a lot with my pastor and church family. I told my pastor that even if I never sang again, I wanted to be right and clean before God. I knew that God would be in the midst of it and make it okay if I never sang again. I canceled several tours and was ready to be a music teacher. My pastor fielded phone calls from radio stations and bookstores that wanted to validate the story through my church family. As painful and embarrassing as it was, I knew that if someone invited me to sing at their church, they invited me knowing the worst.

Were you nervous about singing in churches again?

Sandi Patty Extremely. I couldn't believe churches wanted me, and I had no idea how it would go. I'd ask my manager to make sure they knew about everything, because I didn't want to get there only to be rejected again. For a long time, there weren't a whole lot of people coming to the concerts. But, the people who were there offered their love and support. It meant the world.

Do you feel welcomed in churches now?

Sandi Patty Not by every church. But I totally understand it. I disappointed a lot of people. Some churches may never have me come to sing. But that is part of the consequences of sin.

Has the church overall welcomed you back?

Sandi Patty I was with Women of Faith in Fort Lauderdale about a month ago. I couldn't believe they invited me. After I sang to a room full of about 10,000 ladies, there was such a sweet response with applause and tears. They weren't clapping about my singing—they were welcoming me home. It was one of the most sweet, tender things that has happened to me.

How has the Christian music industry responded?

Sandi Patty Some radio stations won't play my music and some bookstores won't sell my CDs. It hurts, but I blame myself. They feel like I let them down. Those feelings are very justified and valid. I don't blame them—I caused a lot of hurt and disappointment. A lot of healing has taken place, though, and hopefully, we are building some bridges.

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