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In your song notes, you wrote, "I'm struggling daily with pride and insecurity. I was so ashamed of how much I was struggling, embarrassed that I needed so much forgiveness." What were you struggling with?

Dillon I was on tour with Bebo Norman and Jason Morant last fall, and we had a blast. But spiritually, I was in a season of doubt. There would be such a huge sense of dread in me right before I would go onstage. I would look out and think, Those are just stage lights and that's just a microphone. I'm just a normal person. If only these people knew. Maybe they can see straight through me. I don't know if it was a spiritual attack. I don't know if it was just a test. But I felt very unsure about what I was doing. I thought, Does this really matter? Does it matter that a 16-year-old girl would get up and share with people? Do people really let it sink in? Do I let it sink in? It's kind of embarrassing to admit because people came to the shows and probably didn't even know.

But one night before I went on, I was trying to pray. Trying, with that being the big word. I was praying that God would make me passionate about what I was doing for the people out there, so God could be blessed by it. I got everything ready to go on stage, and had one of those moments where all of a sudden, everything changed. The whole atmosphere changed. And this weight came off of me and I heard God speak to me: This matters. I just wanted to put my guitar down and go run, because I suddenly felt so free.

Was it an audible voice from God?

Dillon I don't know if I could describe it. I just feel like if you've heard the Holy Spirit speak to you, it's a moment that comes and goes pretty quickly, and that just adds to the mystery of God. But one moment I was feeling so heavy, like I'm in a fog and I could not get myself out. Then it was just one of those moments where I don't know if it's faith at its best, but it was so clear. And for that brief moment, man, I just felt God say, "This matters."

Was everything fine after that?

Dillon I just felt freedom. I believe the enemy will probably never get me to do drugs, and he'll probably never get me to run away, or do anything like that. I feel like his major attack on me is discouragement. And so in that moment, I just felt like laughing because I thought, Oh my gosh, I just feel free—free from all of that discouragement and doubt, all of that not being sure about God and where he called me. That was one of my favorite times I've ever played, because I just forgot people were in the room.

Another theme in your notes is a struggle with seeing God as a loving Father. You wrote, "I'm always so afraid that God will bring up all of my mistakes, afraid he'll be tired of being kind and compassionate." You also wrote, "I have been guilted into believing God is something that he's never been—hard, cold and merciless, like a kid with a magnifying glass sitting on top of an anthill." Where did those thoughts come from?

Dillon I think a lot of Christians are motivated by guilt and not by love. A lot of times I'll read my Bible and pray just because I feel guilty, and not because it's motivated by love. It's very easy to say, "I don't cuss, I'm not smart with my parents, and I clean my room two times a day. I'm a good kid." But at the same time, I'm so afraid of approaching God and saying, "God, I can't get everything right."

I think many times I see God as somebody that would hold a grudge or punish me for whatever. But I know God is way more compassionate than that. So I just pray, "God, heal my mind. I want to be near you because I love you." That is true relationship. I feel like God's big enough to snatch us out of it, and he's snatching me out of it. I'm in the process.

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