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But you guys were on tour together. You saw each other every waking moment. Why still the disconnect?

Bergquist We would tend to put everything else first. The way we were both raised, you want to be nurturing to the community that you're traveling with. There's people in your face 24/7. So we always try to take care of everybody, making sure everybody's happy and comfortable, enjoying their job. But I think what we ended up doing was, we would put everything out to the audience first, and everything out to the crew and the band. But we never saved anything for each other. We'd get back to our room at the end of the day and we'd just be spent, with nothing left.

So we had to learn to really put each other first. We had to learn how to reprioritize where to put our affections, for God and each other, first.

So how did he take it when you said, "Something's wrong"?

Bergquist That was part of the weak link in our relationship. We didn't know how to communicate well enough for me to say, "Something's wrong," and for him to say, "OK, then let's do something about it." We underestimated what that looked like. It was more like me saying, "Something's wrong," and then my partner saying, "We'll fix it when we get home." It's naïve, but it's not all that unusual for young couples to underestimate what's involved in maintenance and repair of marriages.

However, I will say that, after repeated attempts to connect—and really not knowing how to connect—I had to do something drastic and say, "I'm not really being heard. What are our options here?" So it came down to a drastic move on our part. We had to walk for a while without each other to fully appreciate what that was going to look like.

What do you mean by "walk without each other"?

Bergquist Well, we separated. But we realized we couldn't be separated with all of this hanging in the air.

Did that serve as the catalyst for the song "Little Did I Know" [a song about what life would look like without the love of your life]?

Bergquist Linford wrote that. It's kinda funny because [at that point in our lives] we were half living at our house, half living in hotels. One would leave and the other one would stay. Typical separation routine. And I remember one day walking through the house and he was playing this song on the piano, but I didn't know the melody and I didn't know the words. But I just knew intuitively what that song was about. I felt the spirit of it. I was so mad, because it got to me. I was simultaneously moved to my core and furious that I could still be moved like that. My guard was way up. I kept ignoring it. By then counseling had started to progress. Our relationship started to heal. So I said, "All right, what are the words of that song?" And it's even hard for me to sing it today.

How did you react when he gave you the words?

Bergquist Oh, I bawled (laughs).

Songs like that and a couple of others give me the sense that I'm peering into something I'm not supposed to. Somewhat voyeuristic, if you will. Was that your intent?

Bergquist We've tried to find a good balance there with boundaries and privacy, yet being honest in what we do. Hopefully it will affect someone in a personal way along the way. But we weren't to be all that "naked," if you will. It's very hard to talk and write about something so personal. The songs were sort of self-revealing. And when we realized how personal the record was becoming, we thought, "Maybe it's supposed to be that way." God will bless it and use it. I still want people to hear it.

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