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Coming from such a strong Christian background, it had to be a shock that someone within the church, someone who was going to become a pastor, was doing this.

Kelly Well, maybe at the time, but now I've come to realize that abusers are passionate people—and that is their good and bad trait. Just because someone is a pastor doesn't mean that he/she doesn't struggle with addictions, too. There are a lot of expectations that come with serving in church—and really anyone serving in church is just as flawed as the next person. But we all tend to cover up those flaws to please people.

What do you think it was that made you susceptible to this kind of abuse—again and again?

Kelly Probably insecurity and the need for perfection. It took me a long time to even be able to talk about it, because it's embarrassing. No one wants to admit that this has happened to them. But the truth is one out of every four women is abused. To break that cycle in my own life, I had to learn how to live for the approval of God—not people. I never had a real, full sense of who I was in God, how much he really loved and valued me, so I looked for that approval from others. When you aim to please people, that leaves you prone to things like abuse.

And breaking the cycle meant breaking it off with the abuser—and most recently, that would have been your husband.

Kelly I finally admitted it to my pastor and my parents, and they helped me see that this is not what God expects or wants for me. And yes, I am happily single now.

Were there ever any consequences for him? How do you feel about him now?

Kelly He has moved far away. But I still believe that God has huge plans for him. He was and is loved and esteemed highly in our church. In fact, he was considered a leader. And just like I didn't feel safe to tell this secret, he didn't feel safe to get the help he needed from the "baggage" in his own life before he got saved. I wish him the best in dealing with his painful past as I deal with mine. And that very thing is why I devote my life to promoting honesty in the church. We've got to let people be human and not feel the need to put on the "perfect front."

And ultimately, that's what you're talking about on When the Past Meets Today—the need to be honest about everything whether it's good, bad, or ugly.

Kelly Absolutely. I'm not trying to be the poster child for abuse here. That's not what I want. But God has used music in my life to connect with him. And I believe that true worship is accompanied by honesty. I know this sounds strange, but I honestly wouldn't change a thing about my life looking back. I would not have the inner strength that I have now if it were not for those awful years. I would probably never be driven to sing.

I think it's funny, but my voice isn't that good. I'm not the best singer. But I do think people crave honesty, and that was what was important to me most in making this record.

Christian music isn't always honest, and often likes to have that proverbial bow tied at the end of songs. So, do you think more artists may follow your approach to writing honest songs?

Kelly Artists ultimately want to be accepted by their culture. Let's face it, we all crave acceptance. But it's hard to be honest when you want to be accepted. But honestly, I think more artists are speaking out in truth, and people can connect with that so much more than something that doesn't come from an honest place.

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