Nicole Gets Real
In chatting about the family tree that inspired Sharecropper's Seed, Nicole C. Mullen also discusses how she was delivered from her own abusive past.
Andy Argyrakis | posted 5/14/2007

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Aside from the more story-focused approach, I've also noticed a much more subdued and organic sound on the record.
Mullen I consider this a storytelling album and I originally wanted to do it with just piano and vocals, but the label wouldn't let that fly. It still doesn't have all the usual bells and whistles; this one is about sitting in your living room and de-stressing. It's very organic and down home. I think of it as being really comfortable and warm to the point where you want to take off layers of tiredness, hurt, shame and the things you are hiding from—to get comfortable and feel the warmth of God's fire.
Do you consider it risky to encourage people to be so vulnerable, especially when Christian music often times covers topics more safe and comfortable?
Mullen It is, but [how the industry reacts] is up to God. I'm called to help hurting people, and after singing on stage, my favorite part of the night is speaking to people. So many people come up to me suffering and saying, "I'm giving you 90 minutes of my time and I have to go back to the real world, so don't waste it!" I can read the suffering on their faces—physical abuse, eating disorders, cancer, or whatever the story. They say, "Please stop the fluff," because they are having nightmares of being abused! I hopefully set the stage where Christ can come into their deepest, darkest and most shameful parts and say, "If he can heal me, he can do it in anybody." We all get wet from time to time, but where's the anchor? Hopefully it's found in Christ.
You've mentioned Christ carrying you through difficult times on several occasions, but what specific issues have been a struggle?
Mullen I've had plenty of those! For one, I remember growing up and considering myself an ugly duckling even though my parents said I was beautiful. Later in life, there were several points where I'd come to a fork in the road and asked myself, "Am I believing what I believe because that's what I've been told or because it's true?" I made a decision for Christ at eight and then again at sixteen, but I had to come to that conclusion again years after that. I had met a guy who I thought was the greatest, but three years into it, I was getting my brains beat out and I thought, What did I do wrong? My faith was on trial at that point and I wondered, "Is God just and is God good in midst of hardship?
What did you come out believing?
Mullen Even when bad things happen, he is a good God and he is just! I've personally offered forgiveness because you cannot spend your whole life trying to make wrongs right. I'm able to rest in the fact that God is good and to wait for the Day of Judgment when all of that is resolved.
How were you able to get out of that abusive situation, and what advice would you give to those in the same shoes trying to break away?
Mullen I had great family and friends and a sister who lived near me and I'd run to her house. But I really think a person has to get ready for change. I ran away what felt like a hundred times, but for ninety-nine of them I went back. Eventually I just couldn't go back and I was all cried out. I called my parents and spoke to people who I really valued for council. They spoke great advice, which I would say in turn is to get away from any physically abusive situation. If there's a separation involved, healing can occur, but it's still very crucial to get away. You need to make it known to the authority in church and go to the government officials if you need to do that.