Top tracks: "Want for Nothing," "Inside," "Letting Go"
Grammy-nominated, Dove Award-winning Jennifer Knapp disappeared from the music scene in 2003, leaving behind three hit records (Kansas, Lay It Down and The Way I Am), critical acclaim, and plenty of bewildered fans. But in late 2009, the earthy folk-rock songwriter returned from a long journey of soul-searching with a renewed desire to make music. Some tour dates with Derek Webb, a studio project and a spot on this summer's Lilith Fair tour confirmed that indeed, Knapp was back.
Where exactly had she been? If her new batch of gorgeous, self-revelatory songwriting holds the answer, she's been reconciling disparate parts of herself, battling overwhelming pressures, mourning and rejoicing, falling in love, clinging to faith, and ultimately figuring out who she really is. Part of that self-discovery, as Knapp recently revealed to CT, is that she has been in a same-sex relationship for a number of years—confirming a rumor that had been swirling around for some time.
On Letting Go, the Kansas native's lyrics are grittier and more passionate than ever. On album opener "Dive In," she sings, "I'm like a convict with my hands locked over my head/I'm a dead man walking/I'm so tired of standing on the edge of myself."
Minus the overt worship songs of her past, faith is still entwined in Knapp's fibers. Standout "Want for Nothing" could be an intimate conversation between her and God, and "Letting Go" seems to describe a battle to hold onto God while letting go of pretenses. She also delves into relational territory: "Mr. Gray" is a song about her grandfather, and the piano-tinged "If It Made a Difference" seems a tribute to a broken relationship.
The more cryptic lyrics come to light with Knapp's disclosure about her lesbian relationship. Listeners can now grasp the rawness of driving guitar confessional "Inside" ("I know they'll bury me / Before they hear the whole story … I'm the one that keeps it on the inside / So they'll leave me alone") and heart-rending ballad "Better Off" ("I'd be better off … if I was what you want / And not what I am"). On unapologetic love song "Fallen," she seems to layer meanings: "Even though they say we have fallen / Doesn't mean that I won't do it twice."
Though her songwriting takes center stage, Knapp's limber contralto sounds more aggressive, self-assured. Her acoustic strumming has matured into foot-stomping power rock, backed by a rollicking folk band. As intended, the country instrumentation and striking vocals reach beyond CCM to a broader indie audience. And though old fans will still recognize the girl-with-a-guitar who sang "Undo Me," Knapp's urgency and devastating honesty here remind listeners—who've embraced Knapp since her 1998 debut—that indeed, we're not in Kansas any more.
While we pray for peace, we need moral clarity about this war.
As my doubts about his teachings grew, so did a secret fascination with Jesus.
But experts say it can offer opportunities for leaders and congregations to grow.
