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| The official newsletter of Marriage Partnership magazine Wedmesday, August 14, 2003
It's nice to know that some difficulties in marriage don't differ all that much from couple to couple. Take out the trash, pick up after yourself, do the dishes—these are things we all have to learn if we hadn't already learned them before the wedding. For a peek into how Christian singer Allen Asbury and his wife deal with broken down trucks, feisty tempers, and dirty clothes, read this week's feature article. The couple, celebrating their tenth year of marriage, talked to Marriage Partnership about handling conflicts and more. You'll be surprised to discover who the hopeless romantic is in that relationship! Also this week, read Kevin Miller's article on submission. It's not about determining who's in charge, but showing respect and honor. Read "What's So Scary About Submission?" for a new look at an old subject. Then tell us what submission looks like in your marriage in this week's poll. Until next time,  Managing Editor Marriage Partnership magazine and the Marriage Connection To reply to this newsletter: marriage@christianitytoday.com
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Snapshot Christian singer Allen Asbury and his wife, Heidi, share how to love, how to fight, and how to put your dirty clothes in the hamper. Allen Asbury, who recently released his debut CD, Somebody's Praying Me Through (Doxology Records), and his wife, Heidi, celebrate their 10th anniversary this summer. They've learned a lot in that decade, such as how to love (Allen's a hopeless romantic), how to fight (Heidi's feisty!), and how to put your dirty clothes in the hamper. HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFLICTS? Allen: It's a direct result of watching my dad. He honors my mother. I've never seen him yell at her. I know they had their arguments, but us kids never saw that. So when Heidi and I argue, I want to put it off. When we were first married, Heidi got frustrated with me because I just wouldn't get into it with her. I'd say, "No, now is not the time." Heidi: About three months into our marriage, Allen probably wondered why he married me. Our truck broke down in the middle of nowhere, and I got so mad! Then a wasp came in the truck, and I flipped out. I started yelling and kicking the dashboard. Allen said, "Heidi, what are you doing?" He couldn't believe his brand-new wife was kicking the dashboard of the car. WHAT WOULD PEOPLE BE SURPRISED TO KNOW ABOUT YOU? Heidi: That Allen is a true romantic. I'm not. I never think about that stuff. Allen: One time I got home from work before Heidi. I lit a bunch of candles, had a little Kenny G playing in the background, and I put on a suit and tie. I was thinking this would be a nice romantic dinner. Heidi came busting in and ran through the house, straight to the backyard. We had a miniature dachshund back there, and Heidi thought she'd seen somebody trying to steal the dog. By the time she came back in, I'd blown out all the candles and taken off my tie. It was over. | more |
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SPIRITUALITY What's So Scary About Submission? Six secrets about what the Bible really teaches
The Money Guy Scott Kays, financial planner and ordained minister, wasn't happy with the financial-advice books on the market. So he decided to write his own. What he ended up with was a comprehensive book on gaining control of finances through "practical, step-by-step instructions that are rooted in Scripture." In Achieving Your Financial Potential (Doubleday), Kays covers the waterfront. But we asked him to zero in on setting up, and sticking to, a family budget. How should a couple go about setting up a budget? Anybody can establish a budget. It's just a matter of self-discipline—making the decision that you want to do this. But couples have to be realistic in writing down their current expenditures and how much they think they're going to be spending in the future. Are a lot of couples unrealistic when it comes to a plan for a budget? Yeah. They don't want to admit they have the problems that they have. Many people really like spending more money than they make. So if they can convince themselves they're really not spending more, they'll do it. Is that the biggest mistake people make? Actually, a lot of people budget everything out to the max, and then if anything unexpected happens there's nothing left. You need to build some slack into your budget—a slush fund. It may be a few percentage points of your total budget that you set aside to cover the unexpected things. What are some pitfalls to watch out for? What kills people's financial planning is that they do it for six months and then abandon it. The people who succeed at budgeting are those who ten years from now are still working with their plans. Interviewed by Caryn D. Rivadeneira
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