What are the top three things women leaders need to know about soul care?
On thing is they just need to decide what they want. That may sound a little too simplistic, but a lot of times we think that spiritual formation, or living from a place of soul health, is going to require some radical change. And in some people's lives maybe it would, but often the more radical change is inside us, declaring, I don't want to live this way anymore. When we decide what we want, that unleashes all kinds of spiritual resources to help us solve it. It requires desire and vision well within reach of a woman leader.
The second thing is that it's their responsibility. They're not victims of their environment. I stayed in a victim place way too long, and I blamed everybody else for my pace of life, what was not working, etc. Some of us feel like everything is outside of our control or outside our power.
The third thing is that it changes constantly, at least in my life. There is not some fixed solution or prescription. For example, just the other day, something came up that made me think, Wow, that's the kind of thing that I might devote some fasting to. I don't think I've fasted in six years, whereas it was huge in some seasons of my life. So some things come and go as needed. Sometimes silence is a huge part of our life and then other times it's very much about study or meditation, any number of things.
Can I add a fourth? I believe it has to involve community. I don't know that we know who we are outside of that.
We sometimes actually contribute to one another's decline rather than help one another care for our souls. How do women drain one another sometimes, and how can we turn that around and be life-giving to each other instead?
My friendships with women are how I stay the course. We can give life to one another in a variety of ways. What drains me is people who have no hope in God. Now, we all lose hope at times so it's not like I want little bubbly-miss-whatever awkward person to constantly be in my face. What I mean by that is the sisterhood of those who have the kingdom perspective, whether it's in hard and aching times or in awesome times. It's really fun doing life with these women and I'm very blessed to have so many of them. We drain one another when we look to each other to be God instead of looking together to God. That'll suck the life out of any relationship, man or woman. I mean, you don't actually sit down with coffee and tell somebody, "I'd really prefer for you to be God for me today," but when we act that way toward someone, that's draining.