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Unprepared for the Unchurched

When we’re not ready, new believers slip through the cracks

It’s true…I have been called naive.

Several years ago when my purse was stolen in broad daylight, we found out the police officer wrote in her report that my husband and I seemed very naive. And you know what? She was right. My husband and I were naive to the invasiveness of that experience. We were unsuspecting people!

What I never expected to discover was my naivety, or lack of preparedness, in an area of women’s ministry. It caused someone to slip through the cracks, and it was a painful lesson to learn.

I had been part of women’s ministry for years and loved leading other ladies. Having been in numerous studies as a participant, leader, and co-leader, I sort of felt like a pro when it came to the unique personalities and challenges that make up women’s Bible studies. I thought I could lead just about anyone!

Hmm…what was that about pride coming before a fall?

In my excitement that semester, getting to lead a study I had written, I was taken aback at what I encountered. It was a wake-up call that would challenge everything I knew about leading others.

I got to church early that evening to set up my classroom. I had the tables just right, the chairs lined up, and I added cute little paper cups with foil-wrapped chocolates beside the nameplates. After all, isn’t chocolate the best icebreaker?

What I didn’t bring was enough insight to be able to relate to a brand-new believer who had joined the class. I honestly hadn’t expected someone to sign up for an Old Testament study without a general, working knowledge of the Bible.

How naively unprepared I was.

This small, older woman sat nervously through my historical introduction of the Book of Haggai. The other ladies seemed engaged and fully attentive, but she flipped through the pages of her Bible aimlessly, finally closing it altogether.

As the study went on, she kept looking at the door as if she might make a run for it. My attempts at smiling and trying to make her feel welcome were overshadowed by the fact that she was simply…lost.

Sadly, she didn't return. Oh, how I wish I could go back and do things differently! I would allow myself enough flexibility to take the time to guide her. I would have more compassion and patience to make sure she was able to follow.

I wouldn’t be so naively unprepared.

The next day I was able to find her phone number, through our church office, and invite her to the new believer's class that was ongoing at our church. But to this day, I do not know if she ever went.

I learned a painful lesson that night. As a women's ministry leader, I must be ready to meet people right where they are and never assume things about their walk with the Lord.

Since that time, I've been careful to lead in a way that is authentic and welcoming. I regularly give direction in finding Bible passages, while singling out no one. I make sure I am equipped with materials for new believers, including a Bible, a list of upcoming church activities, and information to help them in their Christian walk.

Most important, I pray fervently for each and every lady who might join one of my studies. I pray for wisdom, discernment, and mindfulness to be prepared for every person no matter where she is spiritually.

Yes, I still make mistakes. I once called someone Betty for the longest time before realizing she was not Betty. I’ve gotten lost in my notes, and sometimes even forgotten the chocolate (small tragedy).

But I am no longer the naive girl I once was.

I'll never forget that lovely woman who sat in the corner, excluded because of my lack of understanding. I pray for her to this day. I pray that she did find a group where she felt welcome and could follow along. I pray she found a women’s ministry leader who wasn’t so naively unprepared and who didn’t let her slip through the cracks.

I pray that the Lord will cover all of us who just want to gather together and learn more about him. And you know what? I truly believe his grace is enough. Enough to catch a naively unprepared leader, and the one slipping through the cracks.

“May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5).

“We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God's grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you” (2 Corinthians 1:12).

As an author, speaker, and musician for women’s ministry, Jennifer Waddle is on a mission to encourage women everywhere…in faith…life. She resides with her family in beautiful Colorado, where she writes books, blogs, and teachings for WomensMinistryTools.com. Her favorite place to be is at home, in the Word of God, with a great cup of coffee and a beautiful view of the Rocky Mountains.

May28, 2015 at 8:00 AM

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