He came up to me after I was done speaking, with that look of sublime certainty in his eye. He didn't think I was very spiritual. He was hoping to help me out.

So I said, "Will you pray for me?" and I bowed my head. He was taken aback a little, but he did pray, and I thanked him.

Then I began to probe him a little on what his idea of spirituality was. Soon it was obvious that his was a little different from mine. I was asking him, "Besides praying that the Holy Spirit will bless us by giving us warm feelings and cozy groups to share in, isn't it spiritual to pray that he'll show us down-and-out people we can help? Is there a widow on your block whose lawn you could mow? Are there lonely people at school you could befriend? Does your church have missionaries overseas for whom you could concentrate on praying? Are you using your money to help anybody?" He didn't really think of those things as "spiritual."

Every Christian wants to be "spiritual," but just what does it mean? The first definition that comes to mind might be "being in touch with God." But how do you measure that? By good feelings? By the number of people with whom you've shared Christ? How does a person go about being "in touch with God?"

One very popular explanation of spirituality today seems to be "the more removed from the world you are, the more your mind is constantly on spiritual things, and the more spiritual you are." Translated into the way other people se Christians, this means "the more weird you are, the better Christian you must be." It's the kind of definition that brought about the sentence, "He's so heavenly minded he's no earthly good."

I don't want to be overly critical. I once believed in this kind of spirituality myself, but we need to see beyond it. Does real spirituality only care about souls? Does is make the earth just one big train station, a place where people decide whether they'll get on the train bound for heaven? That's the way "otherworldly" spirituality tends to see it. In this view, the world is a place to be escaped as soon as possible. We shouldn't use our minds; that's of no use to God. The only thing we should read is the Bible.

There used to be a commune in California where only the leader could read anything besides the Bible. He read the newspaper each day so he could report to the group on what Bible prophecies were fulfilled.

Sports, of course, are pointless if that's your definition of spirituality. So are art, beauty, ecology, politics—you name it. Why should we pay attention to them if the whole point of life is to get off the earth, not stay on it? We want to get away from these minds that hang us up with constant questions and doubts, away from these bodies that are always making us lustful or sleepy when we're praying.

Most Christians, I think, go through at least a stage where they believe this kind of theology. I certainly did. Why? Because most of us have mixed feelings about life. The world is a confusing, demanding, difficult place to live in. It's hostile to us. We want to put signs on it that read Danger, Keep Away. Then we call ourselves "spiritual."

WAS JESUS SPIRITUAL?
But when you read the Bible, you have a hard time holding that view. Jesus was a very earthly man who was criticized for going to too many parties with the wrong kind of people. When he prayed his last prayer for the disciples in John 17 he specifically said, "I'm not asking you to take them out of the world."

Also, if the world is just something we're trying to get away from, why did God look at it after he'd made it and say, "It is very good"?

God isn't inefficient. If all he cared about were our souls, it would have been much simpler to make us fuzzy gray balls floating in space. No minds, no real bodies, no personalities, just "souls." Why go to the trouble of making us so complicated?

So true spirituality is bigger than just souls and praying and Bible reading—but how can we define it?

The definition of spirituality that I support came to me years ago, in the early days of Youth for Christ, when I was asking a different kind of question. What was hitting us at YFC then was the fact that people between thirteen and nineteen are in a very special position. They're adults in many ways, and yet they're still living under other people's authority—that of their parents, teachers, coaches, and bosses. What does the Bible have to say to their situation?

Really, it doesn't say much. Mostly it deals with men and women who are fully adults. You do have Mary pregnant at thirteen or fourteen, but in her society she was considered fully mature, ready for the responsibility of being an adult.

Then we noticed this statement in Luke 2:52 about Jesus' boyhood: "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."

That statement contains everything we know about Jesus from the time he turned twelve to the time of his baptism, at the age of thirty, by John the Baptist. Considering how Jesus turned out, those years of development must have been on target.

As those of us at Youth for Christ read this verse over, we thought it might give some clues to a young person's spirituality. So we looked at it more carefully, to see the various components. First we noticed that Jesus grew in wisdom—that's the sphere of the mind. He also grew in stature—in other words, his body was growing. Finally, he grew in favor with God and men—the spiritual and social dimensions were both well-adjusted; he got along with God and with his peers.

We looked at these four areas—mental, physical, spiritual, and social—and saw that they all were important. It wasn't enough to grown only in relationship to God—you also had to grow in relationship to your friends. You had to grow physically and mentally. Why? Because Jesus did.

Later I noticed a similarity in another crucial passage, Romans 12:1-2. Paul writes: "I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies [physical] as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world [social], but be transformed by the renewing of your mind [mental]. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is [spiritual]—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

From these verses came the concept of "the balanced life": When you remember these four areas, we said, it will help you keep a healthy perspective on yourself. Everyone probably will emphasize one of these areas more than the others: a jock will emphasize the physical, a genius will emphasize the mental, etc. But if all these areas show development, you will be a balanced, healthy person. That's why in Campus Life we still refer to the balanced life. We don't think any of these areas should be left out.

WAS BEETHOVEN BALANCED?
I've had kids come up to me and say, "Was Beethoven balanced? Seems to me that the people who really accomplish great things are imbalanced; they're driven in one direction. What you're saying seems to make everyone normal, healthy—and bland."

I can't deny that a lot of the greatest men and women of history were not normal, but eccentric. A lot of them weren't easy to get along with. They had such deep interest in one area that they couldn't pay attention to anything else.

I wonder, what made them eccentric? Were they eccentric because they chose to be? Did Beethoven choose to suffer emotionally? Or was he forced into that role by people who couldn't take the way he broke through all the old musical categories? A lot of the great writers and musicians, it seems to me, are saying things so true that people can't listen to them. Still, the great artist must tell the truth; he can't compromise it. So he ends up driven into eccentricity by other people. He didn't necessarily have to be that way to be creative.

Let's make a distinction here. There are lots of "driven" people around. Some great men, like Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr., were driven by truly great compassion and ideals. Others, like Hitler, were driven by hatred and a lust for power. There's nothing great about being driven. It all depends on what you're driven by.

You could say Jesus Christ was as eccentric as any man who lived. Why couldn't he forget his obsession about God? Why not settle down in Nazareth, get married, and calm down? He couldn't because he, too, was driven—driven by the love of God and the desire to do his will. So when the Spirit led Jesus into his public ministry, he responded. There was no compromise.

But that didn't make him "imbalanced" in the sense I mean here. Since God wanted him to serve him in that unique way, it was the only way he could be truly balanced. He didn't neglect the physical, the social, or the mental areas of life. He had friends. He was far from anti-intellectual. He wasn't a weakling. He just followed the will of God. That kind of "being driven" never causes imbalance.

If you hope to be great, what better model of success is there than Christ? Of course, Jesus didn't try to be on top. He wouldn't run over his rivals; in fact, he said, "Love your enemies." He was nonviolent. He didn't publicize himself; when he did something stupendous, most of the time he'd instruct the witness not to tell anyone.

The Roman Empire was hardly an age for becoming famous that way. The empire was the age of the conquering Caesars—but how many of those fierce Roman emperors can you name? They're just half-forgotten names in a history book. Jesus, the insignificant, unpublicized itinerant Preacher, is certainly the most famous man who ever lived.

TRUE SPIRITUALITY
So far, I've mentioned the spiritual as though it were one-fourth of a balanced life; sort of a holy little room in your insides.

That isn't really an accurate picture.

The real truth is more startling, more removed from the stereotyped "religious" answer. The spiritual dimension is the point at which all the other dimensions of life—the mental, physical, and social—are committed to God. There is no spiritual dimension to life where there aren't mental, physical, or social dimensions as well. Spirituality doesn't happen in a vacuum.

This is where commitment takes on real meaning. When someone becomes a Christian, we say he "commits himself to Christ," but what does that mean? Does it imply a little ceremony in church where you stand up and walk down the aisle? Or does it imply that you pray certain words?

No, it means the commitment of each area of life to God. God wants us, Paul says in Romans 12, to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to him. The emphasis is on the living. He isn't interested in human sacrifice, as so many pagan religions have thought. He wants living sacrifices: people who eat, play, talk, think, and make friends in a way that is consciously committed to God. That's what spirituality is about.

Be aware, however, that the devil also wants living sacrifices. He wants you to be irresponsible in the way you act. He wants you to eat, play, talk, think, and make friends his way. So there is a constant battle going on. You're the one who decides which side you'll be on.

God wants you to commit your body to him. That means, first of all, that you shouldn't abuse your body. Smoking is a lousy idea. Being out of shape or overweight is a bad idea. Drugs and drunkenness are bad ideas. Why? Because they're not responsible uses of your body. They're not wrong because God drew up some arbitrary lists of things he wanted to take away from us. They're wrong because they're against the positive act of committing your body to Christ.

Do you realize that playing football can be spiritual exercise? It can be, because God is interested in your body. Do you get enough sleep and eat the right food in preparation for playing a sport? Do you make sure you will be able to put your best efforts, physically and emotionally, into the game? The Devil wants you to be irresponsible; God wants you to be responsible.

It goes even further than that. You can misuse your body subtly. A girl can use her body irresponsibly to manipulate and lead guys around. That's not a responsible use of her body, because it denies her full personhood (not to mention the damage to the guys involved).

A guy can get infatuated with his body. He can care for nothing except how tremendous an athlete he is. He can groom his body as though there were no tomorrow. But that is irresponsible, too-not because being a good athlete is wrong, but because God made us to be more than just well-built bodies. Fitness isn't an end in itself.

How about your minds? I'd say the biggest lack of spirituality in the realm of the mind stems from laziness. People don't use their minds fully. For some reason Christians often are more guilty of this than other people, as though being ignorant were somehow spiritual. I look around a room of Christian kids and I wonder, Could there be a cure for cancer in this room? Could there be a great piece of music? Could there be a novel as great as War and Peace?

But it won't happen if you don't give your mind to God. Where do you think Jonas Salk, who discovered the vaccine for polio, would be if he had had your attitude in chemistry?

What are you letting your mind absorb? Is it soaking up a lot of TV shows? Or pornography? Or is it becoming saturated with the Word of God?

There are whole other areas of the mind to give to God. How about your thoughts concerning the opposite sex? Do you think of people selfishly, in terms of what they have to offer you or what you can get from them? Or do your thoughts center on how you can responsibly show them love?

Of course, this spills over into the whole area of relationships. These need to be given to God, too. You should aim for the kind of relationships that reflect God's love. You shouldn't only include the beautiful people in your friendships. All people are God's children whether they're lovely to look at or not.

This area can have subtle challenges, too. Suppose you have a close group of friends. You value these friends. You value the closeness of the group. Then suppose someone new starts hanging around the fringe of the group. How do you react? If you're irresponsible, you think of ways to protect your status and position in your group. You worry about losing the closeness of your little group. But it you've committed your social life to God, you should welcome this person. Trust God to take care of your need for friendship and look for opportunities to befriend people.

These kinds of commitment—physical, mental, and social—go on and on. There isn't any end. The more you experience life, the more you will see areas of life you will need to give to God. Things you wouldn't have thought had anything to do with God will become great areas for spiritual growth.

Suppose you live to be eighty-five or ninety. By that time you will probably have given just about everything in your life to God.

Imagine Fred, eighty-five years old, riding along in his car with Maude, his wife. In the car in front of them there are two teenagers snuggled up to one another. The girl is kind of nibbling the guy's ear, and he's got his arm around her. Old Fred gets all riled up. He turns to Maude and says, "Maude, just look at those disgusting kids. Kids just aren't like we were. They have smutty minds. Why aren't they interested in doing things like we did when we were young, like going to church every night of the week, and listening to two-hour sermons, and praying for three hours at a time? It's disgusting."

Maude leans over and says kind of sweetly, "Fred, remember when we were going together, and that time we parked out by the river … ?"

Fred says, "I don't remember anything of the kind!" Then he drives grumpily along muttering about how the kids are going to the dogs.

That night old Fred doesn't sleep too well; he just lies in bed thinking about those kids, and he realizes he was wrong. So he prays, "God, I'm sorry I judged those kids. Help me to mind my own business and to have an open mind about things." Then he turns over and goes to sleep. It's really beautiful, because Fred, at eighty-five, is still finding areas of his life he can give to God.

This is what spirituality is all about: presenting ourselves as living sacrifices to God. It's committing our lives to God; it's being aware that God is involved in our lives and that he is offering his grace and forgiveness.

This kind of spirituality keeps going and growing. It doesn't wear out. On the other hand, that narrow box of "spirituality" that is divorced from everything else soon becomes irrelevant, just a habit or an emotional release you use occasionally. True spirituality goes on forever.

Look up the verses and write the answers in.

1 John 4:16 shows that God is love. I am like God when I go out of my way to help my little brother Ricky with his homework.
_________________________________________________________________

Psalm 36:5 shows that God is _______________________________________
I am like God when __________________________________________________

Psalm 145: 17 shows that God is ____________________________________
I am like God when __________________________________________________

Psalm 103:8 shows that God is ______________________________________
I am like God when __________________________________________________

John 15:11 shows that God is _______________________________________
I am like God when __________________________________________________

These excerpts are from The Campus Life Guide to Knowing and Liking Yourself: Personal Best. This book is currently out of print, but check out these resources for teens.

Copyright © 1991 by Campus Life Books, a division of Christianity Today, Inc. All rights reserved. Excerpted from The Campus Life Guide to Knowing and Liking Yourself: Personal Best, pages 158-166, by Diane Eble. Used by permission. For reprint information call 630-260-6200.