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Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.
PROVERBS 5:18-19
Day 29
Gladys and Glenn have been married for sixty years. "The first twenty were miserable," Glenn says. "But the last forty—I wouldn't trade 'em for anything!" Because these Montana old-timers have a passion for helping others develop healthy marriages, they hold a two-hour seminar in their barn each Saturday night. "We want to encourage young folks to love and respect each other and to put God first."
Because of Gladys and Glenn, hundreds of couples are now "captivated by [each other's] love." If you, too, want a happy marriage, here's what you should know.
Eight Secrets to a Happy Marriage
What keeps a marriage happy throughout the years? How do couples survive the tough times—and manage to keep their marriage alive and growing? Here's an inside look at the eight key ingredients to keeping your marriage happy.
Use the right "super glue."Happy couples share a commitment to God. When a wife can share the deepest things of her heart with her husband, there is true contentment and lasting joy. When other factors in a marriage are weak, this one—a mutual love for God and desire to serve him—can keep two people determined to work toward a relationship that reflects God's love and power.
Be friends as well as lovers.Most women rate "love and affection" number one when they list what they desire most from marriage. Most men rate "companionship" at the top—even above sex. Doing things together—reading quietly, driving in friendly silence, sharing a joke, or playing tennis together—is vital. Happy couples play together, enjoy what the other enjoys, and laugh together.
Tune in to pillow talk.Happy couples make the time and effort to explore each other's soul: to openly share joys, successes, hurts, dreams, and fears without rejection. But for that kind of communication to exist, each partner must understand and accept the other's differences.
Refuse to win.One gauge of marital happiness is how effectively couples deal with anger, conflict, and frustration. When one spouse sets out to "win," both spouses lose. Happy couples solve their conflicts so they both win—with a mutually satisfying resolution.
Happy couples work through the majors, shrug off the minors, and are mature enough to know the difference.
Stay true-blue.Happy couples are faithful. Fidelity was a given for the one hundred couples Dr. Catherine Johnson, author of Lucky in Love, interviewed about the secret to their happiness: "For them, being faithful to each other was not what made a marriage happy—it was what made a marriage possible in the first place."
Make room for change.Happy couples realize that in marriage, "change is the name of the game." They see the truth in Proverbs 27:17, realizing that when two lives rub together daily, sparks can fly. But as changes occur, each person becomes more Christlike.
The key principle of our marriage is: If God's first,
everything else falls in line. Because Alvin loves
God, I don't have to worry about him loving me.
CECE WINANS
Keep the flame burning.Happy couples know the value of time and romance. Sex is part of romance, but touching, holding hands, meeting eyes across a room, winking or smiling over a family joke are also part of it.
Act as one flesh.Happy couples realize that marriage is a team sport, not a competition. Each carries the other when he or she is down. Happy couples don't lead separate lives; they refer to "our money" and "our plans." They have grasped the significance of 1 Peter 3:8: "Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds."
—Carole Mayhall
A STEP FURTHER
Tips for Marital Bliss
1. Be president of each other's fan club. Cheerlead for your spouse (1 Cor. 13:7) at his favorite activity.
2. Work on true intimacy.Strive for a deeper level of communication. Accept and respect each other's differences.
3. Keep a short account.Forgive—and don't hold grudges. Bringing up past differences separates spouses in the present and future.
4. Budget time and money for a marriage retreat every year.And don't forget the importance of date nights—try for one night at least every other week!
5. Love each other—unconditionally.That's the way God loves you. Doesn't your spouse deserve the same treatment?
6. Pray together, if your spouse is a Christian.Ask God to make your union strong—and give him the credit.
—CM
Faith Focus
On a scale of one (we could use help—fast!) to ten (we have a great marriage), where would you rate yours? Which of the eight secrets to success could you and your spouse use to work toward a healthier, happier marriage?
Prayer Pointer
Thank God for the gift of your
marriage. Ask the Lord to bring to
mind the tools you can use to
make your marriage happier and
healthier. Thank him in advance
for the ways in which you and
your spouse can grow together—
spiritually, emotionally, mentally,
and physically!
 The 30 Days Series is a 3 book set offering 30 thought provoking daily devotions each. Each day's lesson offers a Scripture passage, short message or story, quote for the day, tips on implementing the lesson, and a suggested prayer.
These 30 day devotionals are powerful little books that you won't want to be without. Order the 3 book set or pick from the 3 individual titles. |
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc. All rights reserved. Excerpted from 30 Days to a More Incredible Marriage, by Ramona Cramer Tucker, pages 170-175. Used by permission. For reprint information call 630-260-6200.
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