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Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen.
EPHESIANS 3:20-21
Day 12
Your husband doesn't seem interested in going to church—or attends church sporadically. Or maybe a group of his friends has started a Bible study and he always finds other projects to do during that time. Or you know the Bible on his nightstand is growing dusty because he doesn't read it anymore.
When your faith is growing and your husband's isn't, don't give up. As Ephesians 3 says, God is "able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Here's how to break the spiritual deadlock in your marriage.
Is There a Stale Mate in Your Marriage?
"He said what?" My voice registered shock.
The woman flushed and repeated her statement. "My pastor suggested I stop growing spiritually. If I don't, I'll be too far ahead of my husband, and that wouldn't be good."
Women whose husbands lag behind them in spiritual growth sometimes resort to a variety of methods to prod their husbands into a closer walk with Christ: giving mini-sermons to the children in front of the husband, nagging him about attending men's prayer breakfasts, telling children to review their Sunday school lessons with Dad.
How should you respond to the frustrating and painful situation of a less spiritually mature and passive husband who won't take spiritual leadership in the home? How can you encourage him to grow without creating bad feelings or resistance?
Grow as fast as you can. To stop growing yourself certainly is not the answer! That advice violates 2 Peter 3:18, which commands every believer to "grow in the special favor and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." For any wife who finds herself spiritually out of sync with her husband, this means quiet, unobtrusive digging into the Word, time spent in prayer, and counsel from older, more experienced women.
Show, don't tell. Ask God for creative ideas on how your particular husband might see Christ in you. Husbands who become on fire for Christ later than their wives say it is because they saw their wives respond to difficult situations in a Christlike way.
Look for ways to respect your husband—even when he doesn't earn respect. I'm so glad God never gives us a command he doesn't give us the power to do (Eph.3)! So actively look for things to respect about your husband, rather than concentrate on the twenty things you don't respect him for.
Refuse to usurp your husband's leadership. If you assume the responsibility (unless your husband has specifically delegated a responsibility, such as reading a nighttime Bible story) for decisions regarding your children, your home, or your finances, you may be hindering your husband's ability to take spiritual leadership in the family.
God has a plan and a purpose for each
season of our life. We must trust in his
timing for the change of our life seasons
and learn to rejoice within them.
BARBARA J. DOLL
Be a fun, joyful person. Of all people, God's children should have a joyful and merry heart, with laughter lurking below the surface, erupting often (see Prov. 17:22). Yes, we have heavy burdens. But we also have a Burden Bearer. If we take those burdens to the Lord, we find our burdens light (Matt. 11:28-30).
During the turbulence of living with a passive believer, it's difficult to remember who controls the wind and waves. True, God won't force his will upon a husband, but he will bring mighty forces to bear in order to speak peace to a situation. We can't program his methods or his timing in our spouse's spiritual journey. What we can do, however, is obey God when he tells us to love and honor our husband.
—Carole Mayhall
A STEP FURTHER
Praying for Your Husband
1. Commit five minutes a day to pray just for him.
2. Pray a different Scripture for him each month. For instance, pray through Colossians 1:9-11 for three days:
- Day 1: Ask God to help you understand what he wants to do in your lives.
- Day 2: Ask him to make you spiritually wise.
- Day 3: Ask to live in a way that honors and pleases the Lord.
3. Pray for specific requests God puts on your heart: that your husband develops a friendship with a committed Christian who will challenge him, that he turns his attention to the Bible instead of television sitcoms or computer games.
4. Thank God! Write down the answers to prayer when they come and date them.
—CM
Faith Focus
Have you—or your husband—ever faced a "stale mate" situation in your marriage? If so, what did you do about it? If this reflects your current circumstances, how can you encourage your spouse (or yourself) to grow in faith?
Prayer Pointer
Ask God to give you and your
spouse a hunger to study his
Word and the passion to live out
your faith in your family, your
community, your church. Thank
God for the ways he's already
helped you grow.
 The 30 Days Series is a 3 book set offering 30 thought provoking daily devotions each. Each day's lesson offers a Scripture passage, short message or story, quote for the day, tips on implementing the lesson, and a suggested prayer.
These 30 day devotionals are powerful little books that you won't want to be without. Order the 3 book set or pick from the 3 individual titles.
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Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today, Inc. All rights reserved. Excerpted from 30 Days to a More Incredible Marriage, by Ramona Cramer Tucker, pages 68-73. Used by permission. For reprint information call 630-260-6200.
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