My friend has been married for almost ten years, and she and her husband continue to have a hard marriage. If the purpose of marriage were purely to provide loving intimacy, their marriage might be considered purposeless. But they have stayed married largely because they were brought up to believe that marriage is for life. And they really do love each other. They just haven't figured out how to translate that into happiness.

It is clear, however, that happiness is not the chief point of marriage. Marriages are important to God not so much for what they are, as for what they teach. Marriage teaches us what God's kingdom is like. As his kingdom is about love, it is natural that marriage should teach us about love. It does this in two ways.

The first way is seen in "easy" marriages, which shine with the beauty of intimate love, the kind of natural, heartfelt, spontaneous love that was seen in Eden. For many of us, marriages - our own or others' - are the closest we ever come to understanding such love. Even if we experience it imperfectly, we understand, through marriage, something about the love of God.

But the other way of love is what I see in my friend's marriage. It is love that will not let go, the love of passionate demands and passionate tears, the love that will not accept defeat. Marriages like my friend's are not happiness, nor are they peace. But they are certainly a sign of something wonderful: an unshakable love.

•What do you think is the chief purpose of marriage?
•When you come to a period in your marriage that isn't happy or peaceful, how can you keep alive your commitment to stay together?

Passage for the day: Song of Songs 8:5-14

Verse for the day: Song of Songs 8:7

Additional Scripture Readings: Romans 8:35-39; 1 Corinthians 13:7-8; Jeremiah 31:3

Taken from the Couples' Devotional Bible - New International Version, published by Zondervan. Used by permission.

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