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Q I'm 14, and I think about sex a lot. Am I normal? Does God say it's wrong to think about sex, even if you're only thinking about it in the context of marriage?

A Thinking about sex is very normal at 14. And as long as your thoughts are healthy, I don't know any reason to believe that God disapproves. Sex is, after all, a wonderful part of his creation, one of the great joys and adventures of life. So it's natural and normal to be curious about sex and to look forward to sharing it with your future spouse.

It's also normal for teenagers to think about sex more than most people. Right now, your body is changing and you're discovering many new feelings. You're getting prepared physically and emotionally for an exciting future. It's like you're in training for the big event: Marriage. It's not always easy to wait. But anyone who's trained for something important knows that the best way to get through the training is to stay focused on the prize at the end. Sex is so terrific, it's worth the tremendous effort and patience it takes to make sure it's everything God intended it to be: the physical expression of a lifelong commitment.

Of course, you can think about sex in very destructive ways, too—ways that become obsessive and distract you from real living, and ways that are disrespectful or hurtful to yourself and others.

To keep your thoughts about sex from moving in a dangerous direction, there are a few things you can do. Avoid movies, music and magazines that promote sex between unmarried people or stir up lustful feelings in you. Find a Christian friend you trust and can talk to about your thoughts. Read what the Bible has to say about sex (check out Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8). And ask God to help you keep your thoughts healthy and honorable.

Q One day my science teacher asked me to stay after class. He touched my face, and told me I was beautiful. I smiled and said thanks, but I had no clue what this was leading to. Then his hand left my face and went to my shoulder. He said, "I want you to know that I love you." I said OK. Then he began touching me all over. I told him I had to go. Before I left, he kissed me on the forehead.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I NEED HELP!!! I feel so weird about this. I don't know if I liked what he did or not. In one way it felt strange because he's my teacher, but in another way it felt good. What should I do? Please help.

A You should go immediately to your parents, your pastor, or another adult you trust and tell what happened. You are going to need their emotional support and help in taking the next step—reporting your teacher to the authorities, like the school principal and/or the police. What your teacher did is illegal. It's also a terrible thing to do to someone. If he did it to you he is probably doing it to others. He needs to be stopped.

Next, you need to talk to someone, like your pastor or a Christian counselor, about how you feel. You are already experiencing strange feelings about this, and those feelings may continue for a long time. You really need someone compassionate and understanding to help you sort through your feelings. Also, find one or two Christian friends to talk and pray with you.

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