It's Still All about God
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No, there isn't a special guy in my life. I really don't have much time to think about guys, dating, and stuff like that."
Rebecca St. James sits on a black couch in the studio where she's been working on her latest album, Christmas (Forefront). And she's talking about guy-girl relationships.
"I think God has protected me from all the complications that can come from a relationship," says the Australian-born artist. "Sure, there are times I think, It would be nice just to have someone to dress up for, or someone special to go see when I'm finished with a tour. But I try to balance those 'romantic feelings' with some of the realities I see all the time. I see so many of my friends who've gone through the agony of a breakup. I don't really want to deal with that kind of pain myself, at least not right now. I'm totally content and at peace about being single."
Even so, Rebecca, who recently turned 20, says she enjoys getting to know guys. But, she adds, it's always in the context of friendship—not dating.
"I really like getting together with a group of friends, both guys and girls. Being with a group allows you to have a good time with a lot of people, without worrying about the whole 'dating thing.' It lets you get to know the opposite sex as friends. That's really where a relationship needs to begin anyway—with friendship, not romance."
As Rebecca and I talk about guy-girl relationships, we get into the whole "looks and beauty thing." We talk about how it's so over-emphasized. How it leaves people feeling awful about themselves. Then I ask, "What about inner beauty? Would you mind passing along some of your own 'beauty tips for the woman of God'"?
"Oh, I'd love to talk about that!
I think the best 'beauty tips' come from 1 Peter 3:3-4: 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.'
"Now we shouldn't interpret this to mean girls should be quiet little things who don't care about what they look like. You should try to look nice, and there is nothing wrong with being outgoing and full of life. I think those verses are really about having a quiet humility before God. If you have this kind of genuine humility, guys will see it. Now I am not saying, 'Be humble and get a guy!' But humility really does make you a truly attractive individual. Humble people are just enjoyable to be around."
"What about guys, then?" I ask. "What makes a guy really cool to you?"
"I want to be able to 'see' his love for God. I want to know that God is the center of his life. I think this is a wonderful trait. It makes a guy really 'handsome.'
"Oh, and the guy for me is going to have to love kids, because I love kids.
I just love seeing guys who can relate well to young children, guys who'll let little kids climb all over them. If he's good around small children, I think it says a lot about his character. It says he's the kind of guy who's not always thinking about pleasing himself. He cares about pleasing other people—especially little people! That's the kind of guy I'm attracted to.
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