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You know it and we know it: There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every couple has a few issues they need to work through. Meet Claire and Scott (we've changed their names), a real-life couple with a real-life dating dilemma. We'll offer some advice to help them build a better relationship.

Claire Says:
He Doesn't Like My Friends
Scott just can't seem to get along with any of my friends.

A few days ago, he came right out and told me that some of my friends were weird. I was really offended by that, and I told him so. He said he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but he wanted to be honest with me. He also said he didn't want to hang out with my friends anymore. He didn't ask me to choose between him and my friends, but if he doesn't want to spend time with them, I feel like I have to choose.

I admit I have some unusual friends. Most of them are girls I've gone to church with since we were young. They're great people, and I love them.

I don't expect Scott to love my friends the way I do, but he could at least try to get along with them well enough for us to all hang out together sometimes. I want to keep dating Scott, but I don't want to have to choose between him and my friends.

Scott Says:
Her Friends Drive Me Nuts!
It's not that I hate Claire's friends, although there are a couple of them who drive me nuts. It's just that they aren't the people I'd choose to spend my time with.

And I end up spending a lot of time with them. It seems like every time I want to do something with Claire, one or two of her buds want to come along. Even when I'm just talking to Claire in the hall, one of her friends will come up and butt in on our conversation.

At first, I didn't mind too much. But now that we've been dating awhile, I notice that Claire always talks about her friends when we're together. And I know she tells them everything I say, too. I feel like I'm dating Claire and her friends. That's not what I had in mind.

The truth is, I need a break from Claire's friends. I'm not saying she can't hang out with them. I'm just saying I don't want to spend every day with them.

Carla's Advice:
Scott and Claire have a pretty typical relationship problem here. Claire wants to bring Scott into her group of friends, and he's having a hard time fitting in. And that's understandable. Anyone would have a hard time breaking into a group of friends as tightly knit as Claire's.

But the truth is, that's how relationships work. Two people with two separate lives try to mix a little of his and a little of hers as they build some kind of social life together.

The problem with Claire's approach is that she seems to be trying to force Scott to fit into her group of friends. It's like she's saying, "Scott, here are my best friends; I want them to be your best friends, too." And even though Claire's friends might be great people, they simply might not be the people Scott wants to hang out with all the time.

Claire also needs to keep in mind that Scott's interested in her, not necessarily her friends, so she probably shouldn't talk about them so much. Instead of helping Scott feel closer to Claire's group of friends, Claire's stories are just annoying him.

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