The hills are alive with … The Sound of Mooo-sick
So, there I was, vacationing in Austria, checkin' out the Alps and hittin' the slopes, when all of a sudden, guess what I see?
A two-headed cow!
Then I turned around and saw a three-legged duck!
OK, so they weren't hanging out by the ski lodge. But I did see 'em all at the House of Nature, a really wacky museum in Salzburg, where I also spotted a one-eyed lamb, a four-legged eagle, and a stuffed "liger" (a cross between a lion and a tiger).
And those were just a few of the many extremely bizarre things that made my eyes bug out on my European vacation.
Here's some of the other weird "stuff" I saw:
- Stuffed rats in the Arouze shop window in Paris.
- Stuffed dogs in the Dog Museum in Berlin.
- Stuffed frogs at the Frog Museum in The Hague.
- Stuffed bulls at the Bullfight Museum in Barcelona.
I also saw hundreds of popcorn-eating apes at the Forest of the Monkeys in Rocamadour, France; tons of dragonflies at the National Dragonfly Museum in Ashton, England; and two flies dressed up in tiny ballerina costumes at the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford, England.
But the weirdness didn't stop with the critters. I also ran across:
- A statue of a four-legged car at the German Embassy in Prague.
- Lotsa long-legged dolls at the Barbie Museum in Helsinki, Finland—where you can get your picture taken while wearing life-sized Barbie fashions.
- More than 3,500 sets of teeth at the Odontological Museum, at London's Royal College of Surgeons of England.
- A replica of a flying saucer that allegedly landed on May 19, 1946, in a glade in Angelholm, Sweden.
- Mounds of manicotti, spaghetti, macaroni, fettucine, rigatoni, canneloni, ravioli and lasagna at the National Pasta Museum in Rome.
- A plethora of proboscises at the Museum of Student Life's Nose Collection in Lund, Sweden. Alas, they're not real noses, but just plaster casts.
I can't decide. It's either the three-legged duck in Salzburg or one of the little hoppers at the Frog Museum—the one that croaks, "I love you."
I kid you not.
adapted from Weird Europe (St. Martin's Griffin)
Doc Doc Jokes
Did ya hear about the patient whose "eyes rolled around the room" after she fainted? That's exactly what one doctor wrote in his medical records. Other bloopers from actual medical logs:
- "On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared."
- "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."
- "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
- "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
- "The patient has refused an autopsy."
- "She is numb from her toes down."
- "The skin was moist and dry."
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