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Remain calm and loving. Your friend most likely feels alone, frightened and extremely sensitive about her pregnancy. The most important thing you can offer is your continued friendship.

Show God's love and forgiveness. Your friend may have been looking for love by giving herself intimately to a guy. Now she might feel ashamed and unworthy of love at all. Point her to God, who loves her unconditionally.

Celebrate life. Your friend may consider this baby a "mistake"—a barrier between her and "normal" life. She needs you to lovingly remind her that no matter how the baby was conceived, he or she is a gift from God.

Be available to share … and to listen. Your friend has big decisions to make, and although you can't make those decisions for her, you can be available to help her consider her options. Share information you've discovered on fetal development and on the physical and emotional trauma of abortion. Most of all, be willing to listen to your friend's deepest concerns.

Find help. Your friend is most likely in need of more answers than you can give. Visit a local crisis pregnancy center with your friend, or call CareNet for help at 1-800-395-HELP. Encourage her to tell her parents and to seek the counsel of a pastor or youth pastor.

• Crisis Pregnancy Center Network.org
www.cpc.org
A listing of crisis pregnancy centers around the world

• "Mom, I'm Pregnant"
www.lifecall.org/momim.asp
How to tell someone you're pregnant

• When Does Life Begin?
www.nrlc.org/abortion/wdlb/wdlb.html
Photographs and descriptions of life in the womb

• Medical Facts about Abortion
www.nrlc.org/abortion/ASMF/asmf.html
Get the facts straight about abortion (note: "ASMF" in Web address must be capitalized)

Copyright © 2000 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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