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Q. I am a 15-year-old girl, and I recently became a Christian. A couple of days ago I was asked to have cybersex, and all I could think to do was tell the person about God. I think I might have really helped him. Now I'm wondering if there are any verses from the Bible that could help me out when I'm telling other people cybersex is wrong?

A. As you can probably guess, there aren't any verses that deal precisely with cybersex. After all, the Bible was written long before computers. Nevertheless, I think the Bible says a lot about cybersex.

To me, cybersex seems very much on the same level as pornography. It plays with sex in a casual, careless context that inevitably degrades the people involved. That goes against the whole spirit of the Bible, which treats sex as a powerful, mysterious connection of two people who bring their bodies and souls together in a permanent bond. God created sex to be intimate and committed. The only place it can be this way is within marriage. Cybersex is at the opposite extreme, so casual that it's only done in a virtual, unreal world.

When talking to others, I'd recommend Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up." Paul continues this encouragement in Ephesians 5:3-4: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." If that doesn't eliminate cybersex, what will?

I would, however, encourage you to use extreme caution in communicating with anyone who wants to have cybersex. There's a very good chance they aren't teenagers, but older men. Be sure you never give them your real name or any information that could enable them to find out who you are and where you live.

Due to the volume of mail, Tim cannot answer every letter. Questions you would like to have considered for this column should be sent to: "Love, Sex & Real Life," Campus Life, 465 Gundersen Drive, Carol Stream, IL 60188. You can also reach "Love, Sex & Real Life" via fax (630-260-0114) or e-mail (CLmag@campuslife.net).

Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
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