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Q. I want a girlfriend. In fact, I have a particular girl in mind, but I don't have the guts to ask her out. This has always been a problem for me. I get nervous just thinking about it. I can't even bring myself to talk about it with my friends or my parents— I'd just feel too weird. Do you have any advice?

A. As a certified shy person, I sympathize. I can remember exactly how it felt to be paralyzed by a member of the opposite sex. Like most people, I got over it eventually, but not without some trauma along the way.

The only cure for shyness is to move forward one step at a time, breaking down your fears. One step you can take is by doing just what you say you can't—talking about it with friends. If you could do that, you would undoubtedly experience some relief. It's not as terrible as you think to admit what you're feeling. That could help push you toward the next step—actually talking to the girl you like.

Another way to overcome shyness is to build friendship bridges through activities. If you get involved with activities—school, church or otherwise—where you can talk to girls, you'll find it breaks down your inhibitions. Also, you might be able to find a common activity with a girl you're interested in—and get to know her without risking rejection. What does she like to do? Find out, and see if there's a way to get to know her better.

Still, sometime sooner or later you have to take an initiative. I'd look for small, low-risk beginnings, like a telephone call to ask her about a homework assignment or if she knows the date of an upcoming concert. Or how about, "Would you like to grab a bite to eat?" Some people find it easier to have a small party or picnic (six or seven people just hanging out on a Friday night) without having to single out someone special. Gradually, you can warm up to each other and gain confidence that she's not likely to reject you.

Q. I'm a Christian, but I really don't understand this whole homosexuality issue. While I know I would never go down that road, I'm really not totally against it. Should I be? Does the Bible actually say homosexuality is wrong?

A. The short answer to your question is yes, the Bible says homosexual behavior is wrong. Two passages in the New Testament are particularly worth noting. Romans 1:24-32 describes homosexual activity as "unnatural." That doesn't mean homosexuality can't feel natural. It means it's not what God in tended when he created males and females for each other. Homosexuality is typical of the mixed-up behavior that happens when humanity decides not to set its heart on God. It isn't, however, considered any worse than a lot of other sins, such as gossip, envy and greed (which are mentioned in the same passage). Romans certainly doesn't encourage anybody to single out homosexuals as the worst of sinners. It puts homosexuality into context. If you live in a world that puts its own pleasure and glory above God's pleasure and glory, you'll see even a basic thing like sexuality become confused.

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