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My Friend Doesn't Like Herself
from Good Advice
with Jim Burns


ADVERTISEMENT
My Friend Doesn't Like Herself

My best friend has really low self-esteem. I've tried to help her, but nothing seems to work. She thinks my other friends and I are lying to her whenever we compliment her. What can I do?

There's not much you can do or say to change someone's mind about their self-image. But you can make a difference by being a caring and supportive friend. When your friend knows you are there for her, regardless of how she feels about herself, her personal outlook can begin to change.

For example, consider Jennifer. She once said: "I hate myself. I'm ugly, I'm stupid and I can't even imagine that God would love a person like me."

Enter Robin.

Robin stuck by her and by being a good friend showed her the love of God. As Jennifer grew and matured, her self-image began to change.

Today Jennifer is one of the key women youth speakers in America. She has often said, "I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for Robin."

God loves us unconditionally, not for what we do but for who we are. God promises that he will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). When we finally grasp that concept, we can be free to like who we are because we know and believe God's promises. Share this verse with your friend, plus a few others like Genesis 1:27, 31; Psalm 139:13-16 and Ephesians 2:10. The Bible is an excellent resource. Use it to help your friend.

Am I Sinning?

Is saying "Oh my God" a sin? I say that, and I can't kick the habit.

Whenever you're in a crowd and you hear someone call your name, don't you turn around to see if they're talking to you? Of course you do. The same goes for God. When someone says, "Oh my God," they're calling on the name of their Creator.

The Bible clearly tells us not to take the name of God in vain. The Ten Commandments say, "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God" (Exodus 20:7).

Do you mean to abuse the name of God when you use that popular phrase? Probably not. But whenever we say the name of God, we are calling upon him to listen to us and respond to our prayer.

When we say "Oh my God" as an expression of surprise, we've cheapened the name of our Creator. Using his name in a casual manner trivializes our relationship with God. In the Old Testament, one of the names for God is Yahweh. This name was so special to the Hebrew people that they would only whisper it. The Jews felt God's name was so holy they wouldn't even personalize it.

Christians have a personal relationship with God only because of our relationship with Jesus. But we are still called to respect the name of God and hold it in reverence. Far too many people say "Oh my God." Do everything you can to kick the habit.

Mom's Too Busy For Me!

I'm 13 and I need my mom as a friend. I can't tell her anything because she doesn't have time for me. I want to be closer to her, but I don't know how. Any advice?

Talk with your mom and tell her how you feel. Try not to make her feel guilty, but instead focus on how you're feeling. Don't shame her into spending time with you, but tell her specifically what you need or want from her. If she's too busy to sit down with you, write her a note. Say something like, "Mom, I love you and I really want to spend some time with you. I know you're busy, but I would like to invite you to go out to lunch with me this Saturday."




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