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Q. I am 17 years old and a senior in high school. I have never dated or had a boyfriend, and up until recently I've been thankful for that. But now I really want to find a meaningful, God-centered relationship. I think I'm spiritually and emotionally ready. But I wonder if anyone will ever want me. What do I do? Why do I feel this way?

A. Your last question is easy to answer. You feel this way because you're normal. God made us so that male and female would need each other and would feel this need strongly. Most people, by the time they reach 17, are very aware of this, and most people suffer some doubt about whether their longings will ever be fulfilled. That's especially true for you, not having had a boyfriend yet. But many people who've had lots of dates experience the same doubts. You want something you don't have, and it's very hard to know where it will come from.

Now for the harder question. What do you do? In one sense you don't do anything. You are not in charge of finding the person who will fill your longings. That's God's department. After all, you get to marry just one person out of the roughly 3 billion members of the opposite sex. Only God can sort through those kinds of odds.

You are in charge of something, though: yourself. God wants you to be a caring person, someone who doesn't spend all her time feeling sorry for herself, someone who has an active, useful life, someone who takes care of her body and her mind, someone who prays and draws closer to God's Spirit. I could add to the list, but I'm sure you get the idea. Such a person will be attractive to others—and in particular, attractive to the person who can meet her needs.

Timing is hard to figure. I've never been able to put my finger on the reason some girls attract guys by the handfuls, and others (who are just as pretty, just as wonderful) don't. It doesn't make sense. Nevertheless, in the long run I've seen that it works out. Sooner or later the guys get smart, and they find the girls they never noticed before.

You really can't control the timing. You can only control yourself. Make the most of your life right now. Try not to think too much about what's not happening, and focus on what is. And ask God for patience. Someday you'll look back and feel glad that he guided your life as he did.

Q. What does the Bible say about interracial dating? I've heard people say the Bible says it's wrong, and then others say the Bible says it isn't. I have a crush on an African-American who is a Christian, but I'm not going to ask him out if the Bible says it is wrong.

A. The Bible doesn't say it's wrong. On the contrary, the Bible teaches that all people are descended from Adam and Eve—which means that racial differences are superficial, and we're all from one family. It also teaches that in the end all the races and ethnic groups of the world will be brought together as family under God's loving care. All racial hatred and prejudice will die out! You can read about this in Isaiah 11:1-9, Revelation 15:4, and many other places in the Bible. How could it be wrong to date someone with whom you will spend eternity?

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