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My house was unusually quiet as I pushed open the door. Then I saw the tear-stained faces of my family. Something was terribly wrong.

"Aunt Jinx was killed in a terrible car accident tonight, Allison," Dad said, his voice quavering with every word. It was a long, awful evening. I thought I would never stop crying.

A few weeks after Aunt Jinx's fatal accident, my principal came over the intercom and announced the death of a fellow student. After an asthma attack a few weeks ago, he'd slipped into a coma. Now he was dead. He was 16.

It was hard enough to have my 70-year-old aunt die. But to have someone so close to my age die? It seemed unreal. It brought death too close.

In the weeks that followed, I started thinking about those terrible losses less and less—until something happened that reminded me again just how close death could be.

I was on my feet cheering at a basketball game when I heard someone behind me gasping for air. It was one of my good friends! I watched helplessly as she threw her inhaler down between the bleachers, obviously frustrated that it wasn't working.

I rushed to her side and said as gently as I could, "Please try to calm down . …What's happening?"

Through her tears of pain and fear all I could understand was that her heart was throbbing and she couldn't breathe right. I took her by her hand and led her out of the gym. We soon found a phone, and I called her parents. In a matter of minutes, they were there and helping her into the family car. Before they rushed off to the hospital, her mom and dad hurriedly thanked me for helping their daughter.

I just stood there watching the tail lights disappear into the darkness. I felt so helpless. And I wondered if my school would lose another student to an asthma attack.

As I tossed and turned in my bed that night, frightening questions went through my mind. What if something horrible happened to me? What if I suddenly found myself close to death?

The next morning, I felt some relief when my friend called to say she was fine. But I couldn't keep my fears about death from returning.

As I prayed about my fears, God reminded me of this truth from his Word:

" … Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed" (Psalm 139:6).

I needed that reassurance—that God knows my life from the beginning to end. And even though my circumstances seemed to scream otherwise, he was in total control. I also needed this reassurance from Romans 8:38-39:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither things present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Even though the world seems a little scarier almost every day, I'm learning to trust more deeply in the promise that God will never leave me. I'm also trying hard not to take my relationships for granted. I make it a point to tell my family a little more often that I love them.

With God's help, I'm learning that each day is a special gift. I must make the most of it—no matter what.

Along with her love for writing, Allison also enjoys refereeing for a youth soccer league.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Campus Life.

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