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My boyfriend and I are sophomores in high school and we've been dating for seven months. We waited almost six months to kiss, because we wanted it to be at the right time. We haven't said, "I love you," because both of us want to be certain that the person we say the "L-word" to is the one God wants us to marry. Plus, we agree that we are probably too young to be in a really serious relationship. We know we're likely to change a lot over the next few years.

Lately, though, we've been growing closer. We didn't want our relationship to get very serious, but now I feel like I do love him. I honestly don't know if this is just teenager lovey-dovey stuff, or if it's the real thing. I'm afraid to talk to my boyfriend about it right now, because I think he might feel the same way and I don't want to be any more exposed to temptations—emotionally and physically—than I already am.

What should I do? Is this real love, or are we too young to feel this way?

You sound very thoughtful and conscientious, and I'm sure you are in the kind of relationship that is helping both of you to grow.

You've picked up on something important—words mean different things to different people. For a lot of people, "I love you" is a statement of their feelings right this minute. It doesn't trouble them that tomorrow they might not "love you." They want to say what they feel.

For other people, "I love you" is about more than feelings. It sounds like this may describe you. For people like you, "I love you" is a strong statement of commitment. It's not exactly an engagement ring, but it's moving in that direction.

If I'm right about what these words mean to you, I think you're right not to say them. As you've said, you have a lot of growing to do in the next four or five years. Maybe you're better off not feeling that you're tied down by something you said.

Still, I'd urge you to talk honestly to your boyfriend about what you're feeling. You may not want to use the words, "I love you," but I think it's best to acknowledge that your relationship has taken a turn for the serious. It's good to be truthful with each other, and to deal with reality. It's true that this seriousness exposes you to greater emotional and physical temptation—but that's true whether you talk about this development in your relationship or not. One question you should ask: How do we build a relationship that can be healthy and right over a period of years—if that's what's in store for us?

I have been going out with this girl for a while, but I don't know if we have a future together. How can I tell if I still like her? On a similar note, how can I tell if Satan put these doubts into my mind, or if God is telling me to find someone else?

I wouldn't blame your thoughts on God or Satan. I think they probably come from a natural thought process. As you think through where this particular relationship is headed, you can't help but have some doubts. It's perfectly normal.

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