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My prom is coming up soon and a lot of my friends have told me this is the time to lose my virginity. In fact, some of the guys I know are already making hotel reservations. I don't understand why they think it's important to lose their virginity now. Still, I don't know what to say when they talk about it. How can I answer my friends when they ask why I won't be going along with their plans for the evening?

The simplest answer is: "I have other plans." If your friends want to know what those plans are, say you plan to give yourself on your wedding night to the person you'll love forever.

Virginity isn't something to "lose." It's something to give. Don't give the most intimate act of love to someone who won't be with you for the rest of your life. And don't believe that "everybody's doing it." Several surveys suggest that at least half of the students in your high school aren't doing it.

Deep inside, your friends may already know it's not important to lose your virginity now. In fact, maybe you should ask them why they think you should have sex. It may be they'd feel better if everybody lived the way they've chosen to. Then they wouldn't have to worry they'd missed out on the best. I think every promiscuous person harbors a secret fear that sex is meant to be more meaningful than fun and games on prom night.

I've been dating a guy for about five months. We are both Christians and really value our faith. My problem is that we don't talk much about things that mean a lot to us, like our relationships with God. I would really like to talk seriously about this and even to pray together. But I don't know how to approach the subject.

Would it help to know you're not alone? Many couples find it difficult to share together on this level. Faith is a very intimate subject.

You're right, though—it's important to break the ice. It might help to write a letter, expressing what you feel. Don't send it, though. Instead, read it to your boyfriend. That will be hard for you, but you'll appreciate the fact that you'll get an immediate response from him.

You also might want to think about taking a more formal approach. For example, the two of you can agree to read the same book or the same article, then take a few minutes to share what you got out of it. Or you can agree that whenever you hear the same sermon or talk, you'll take time afterward to discuss what you found helpful. Maybe you could draw up a list of prayer concerns, then take turns praying through the list together. If that's too hard on your nerves, pray silently together and then afterward talk about what you prayed for.

These are just techniques to help you get over your nervousness. Once you get started, you probably won't need them. I hope your relationship will grow deeper as you learn to share what matters most.

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