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Ever wish you could predict ahead of time whether or not a dating relationship will work out? It would save a lot of headaches and heartache, wouldn't it? While you can't predict the future, you can make choices that will help guide you to relationships that are both exciting and honoring to God. Here's how.

You don't have to have too many lousy dating experiences to realize it makes sense to be picky. And while being picky may limit the number of people you date, it will also improve the quality of each date you have.

As you think through potential dates, ask yourself these questions:

• What's my first impression? "Don't judge a book by its cover." That's how the old saying goes. True, first impressions aren't totally accurate. But until you get to know a person, you must depend on first impressions. Who do they hang around with? What kind of parties do they go to? Do they drink, smoke, use drugs? This kind of "first impression" information is very helpful as you think about who you will or won't consider dating.
• How well do I know them? It always makes sense to go out with someone you've known for a while rather than a stranger.
• Do they treat others with respect? Ever been around a girl who can't do anything but put down her boyfriend? Ever spent time with a guy who likes to brag about how far he got on his last date? Not exactly the kind of people you want to trust with your self-image or your reputation.
• Do our values clash? Are the things most important to you also important to them? Are you headed in the same general direction in life? (For instance: You value good grades and plan to attend college; your potential date regularly cuts classes and has no plans for life after graduation.) Do they have decent standards when it comes to the movies and TV shows they watch? Are they committed, growing Christians who seek to live what they believe? You may be thinking, But, hey, I've heard opposites attract! Not a good dating rule to live by, especially when it comes to values, moral standards and personal beliefs.
• Do they keep their promises? If they've been in a serious dating relationship before, did they flirt with others or cheat on the person they were dating? It's good to keep in mind that a promise breaker can quickly become a heartbreaker, too.

Let's say you've asked the right questions and you've been careful about the people you date. In time, you'll probably find yourself liking one person a lot. It looks like it's getting serious. If you find yourself moving in this direction, or if you are already in a serious relationship, here are other questions to think through and to talk about together:

• Is our relationship about mutual trust? A relationship can't survive without honesty and openness. If lies creep into the relationship, it's time to get truthful, or call it quits.
• Can we be ourselves when we're together? If you have to be somebody you're not, or if either of you feels you must put up a front, then you're in the wrong relationship.

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